Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Change is constant! Frustrated Ramblings...

The year 2009 has been a year of a lot of change in my life.And as I always say..expect the unexpected. Too many things happened which has led me in a very different world than I normally was. And to be frank..Im not sure how good am I at adapting changes..

a)Internship at Microsoft,Hyderabad.Absolutely unexpected.Especially for a non technical person like me.Apparently they were looking for an intern who could fit into the post of a Product Manager.Not sure how i ended up fitting into it.

b)The formation of a full fledged basketball team girls of of MANIT,Bhopal.. we went to Hoshangabad to play an open state basketball championship and were runners up..i.e reached the finals..god only knows how that happened because we were so unprepared.Didn't have players decided at positions and at the same time,didnt even have a basketball kit...Anyway again the second element of surprise.

c)Sportomania 2009- MANIT inter college sports meet happening for the first time for girls. We won the finals basketball..Again a mystery how.. And seriously we hadn't even practiced ..

d)Lost out on two really close friends from my life because of huge misunderstandings and their disappointment over a decision I took in my life. I did not know ill have to pay such a heavy price for The ONE decision of my life.I still miss them too much,,and waiting for them to come back. Because they should understand that its one thing to take a decision and abide by it and another thing to lose out on friends and feel lonely,inspite of having so many people around. So 2009 made me realise Im a really cruel person who just knows to hurt people .

e)Took one major decision of my life of not being alone. And because I gained someone in my life,i ended up losing two. And this gaining wasn't expected.I was always against this policy ..but hypocrite that i am,i changed it.

f)Room got renovated and house looked really different. Not so big a change but listing things irrespective of their order of priority.

g)In this dilemma in the middle of this year what am i actually going to do in future..It seems so easy for people going for some coaching ,whether or not they are happy,because they atleast striving to work for something.What am i striving to work for?I have no idea.

h)Being scrutinized by some colleagues of my college and people judging me for decisions that i have taken in my life has been cornering me to a very huge extent.I normally am a very strong person but to some level...i get the feeling i can crack vulnerable i am right now.

i)I'm happy that the decision i have taken in my life has been treating me well.No complaints at all.Infact Im really happy for that one thing.The external effects of course is taking a toll on my strength and courage,but the decision itself has made me happy.

j)People scrutinizing my decision and suspecting it has again been freaking me out to a huge extent.Esp if it was my close friend. I really don't want them to come to me and tell me that they had warned me and i didn't listen if i regret my decision..which till now i obviously don't.

So basically tooo many changes happening in a person makes her blank about whatever is happening. She is strong about adapting to changes,but wants a few things never to change.Like losing out on friends..Because she really is waiting to get her two lost friends back to her life.Because she really really missed them the most right now. Will she get them back?