7am to 10pm Love. Philosophy. Updates About Life.

I would not be exaggerating if I say I have been working for about 14 hours a day, which includes at least five to seven hours of dancing and easily two hours of travel. Its funny though because I do not mind it one bit. In fact I absolutely love it. You might think it is because I am a workaholic, but the reality is because I feel good about the fact that I have enough work on my platter.

Being a freelancer, having busy days definitely gives you the greatest high possible. I started dancing professionally when I was almost 24. So essentially, I still have just about three years experience. I always do things in a hurry, talk in a hurry, work in a hurry. I think it has something to do with the fact that my clock is ticking faster. I have lesser time to achieve what a 16 year old dancer can.

I just decided to share my thoughts with you.

I like blogging because it is like talking to someone who wants to listen to me.
I like talking. A lot.
I can talk for hours together without getting bored. From fashion to wellness to telling them how much I love my cat and my dog. To how much I love dancing. And food. And everything.

I am famous for passing out in the living room each night, even if we have a house party. And then waking up early in the morning just so that I can wake others up and talk to them.

I am loving the thought of next week. I am traveling to Mumbai on Monday and performing for the prestigious Daksha Sheth Dance Company. And I cannot express how much I am in awe of Daksha Didi's choreography.

Our team from Piah Dance Company is then leaving for Salem on Tuesday for a performance, and I am finally leaving for Gujarat to take a vacation with my family. I do not know how much sleep I will get. But you know what, I shall pass out whenever I can and get my dosage of sleep anyway.

In between all this, our company is doing a choreography for a school . I love kids just because they have no ego in them. If they like someone they say it. Simple. No ego comes to play even a little bit. 

So these I am working on believing more in myself. Not that I do not believe. But just that I need to believe more than I currently do. Not that that has anything to do with whether I really can or not. But just to believe I can.

Have you ever had days where you really want someone to come and evaluate you, in the most rightful manner, because you are just not able to evaluate yourself right? That happens with me. A lot. And honestly, the sooner I believe that I only can evaluate myself best, the better. There will always be bias otherwise. Friends and family will say better-than-real things to you. People who can see faults in you will focus more on the faults. So essentially I need to grow up and understand I cannot be spoon fed anymore.

So I shall tell you a little secret. But you need to promise me you won't judge me.
Actually even if you do, I will still share it. 

I have a dream of writing a book. A happy book. I do not know how it will go. But it will just be happy. You will feel happy at the end of it. It will not preach, or ask you to do things a particular way. Nor will it be a self help book. It will just be a happy book.

I have always loved motivating someone who has been feeling low in their lives. Maybe because I have felt low quite a few times too. And that feeling sucked. So bad.

And yes, the person who wrote a mail to me regarding the same, I am sorry I wasn't able to get back to you sooner, but I soon will. And I will try and make you feel better hopefully.

Honestly, I do not know where this blog is going. Its like a outlet where I am just talking. Maybe I should stop now. Good luck with reading this entirely. And if you have reached the bottom of this page and are reading this exact sentence right now, then you are a really good listener. 

I really should stop now.
Be happy, because I know shit happens to all of us. So lets keep the shit aside for a while and enjoy the not-so-shitty part of life. 
Look at my cat and dog if you like pets. They are really cute. 

Day 2 and Day 3

So my later part of day 1 was completely crazy, because the whole day went in getting the garba dress and finally going for garba. I danced for about three hours continuously. I felt like steam was coming out of my face.

I finally came back and slept at 3.30am after dancing like a mad woman.

I got up at some 9am and lazed around for a while.

Did small productive things like adding beneficiaries to my NetBanking, deciding a layout for my visiting card, and making a poster for another workshop. And went for an afternoon siesta at 4pm and got up only at 9pm just to realise that it was time to eat and sleep.

That was all about Day 2.

Day 3, that is today , the 3rd of october, 2011, was quite a blast in its own way. Now my morning getting up schedule went to dogs because I was still trying to recover from the post garba sleep. I had my regular dose of Naariyal Paani , made food, went for a Salsa tryout with this dancer I met during my Garba workshop, met OT , came back and ate food again.

Oh by the way, I forgot to add, I tried a lot of stretches, hand stands, perfecting cartwheel etc along with the Salsa practice during the try out. It was fun.

Tomorrow is a good day because my Dance teacher is back from Singapore after a month. I can't wait to finally see her. :)

Time to sleep early, so that I make it to the class at any cost. :)

Goodnight readers!!!

Day 1 looks good

Yes!!!

I made it.

I succeeded in getting up at 6.00am today.

As I told you earlier , my plans of getting up, exercising went all smoothly.

I had an elaborate breakfast of one boiled egg, a bowl of oatmeal with milk, two slices of toast with Nutrilite butter, and two guavas.

I also somehow ended up getting the time to wash all my clothes, drying them and folding the ones that dried.

So all these things happened till some 11.00am. I got ready after that and went to the rent shop to get my garba ghaghra on rent. I got that, had sumptuous Bengali meal of rotis and fish and got back. I'm almost set to get ready for the evening.

So yeah, this is Day 1. More updates tomorrow.

October Dawns

New month tomorrow. Time to accelerate progress.

Better health.

Better work culture.

Better routine.

Better organisational skills.

Time to get up early and starting the day with yoga. That means getting out of the bed by 6.00am. Very much possible.

Breakfast by 8.30am. Special breakfast recipes include my regular oats and milk, vermicelli upma with soya nuggets and a new recipe by my cook, The "Soaked Fried Chana " (SFC)

So Chana (Chickpea) is a very nutritious lentil which can be eaten just like that after soaking them overnight. It tastes somewhat like peanuts. For those who don't enjoy that taste too much, they can heat oil in a wok, and fry the chickpeas and add salt and pepper.

Drinking a lot of water throughout the day. My regular dose of one "Naariyal Paani" from my coconut vendor friend outside my house. (Ya, I'm good friends with them now, we chat about how they run their business and other stuff)

Plus, I'm going to dance this Navaratri in Palace grounds. I'm all excited. I'm even getting a ghaghra choli on rent because I did not carry a ghaghra choli to Bangalore.

The most important point being NOT to plan the whole day in your diary. The only routine that stays is morning yoga and breakfast.

Happy October everyone!!!

Before After

I had such a roller coaster day yesterday. You know those days where in the beginning everything wrong that could happen ended up happening. And the second half of the day suddenly came with a beacon of hope.

So the first half of the day starts like this.

There was this school were I was a part timer. I wasn't really enjoying the work so had been thinking of quitting it on and off. I even had a talk with the principal of that school regarding this. Yesterday afternoon they told me that they were looking to keep a full time dance teacher who can take regular classes and still need me for bigger projects. I didn't know whether to be happy or sad. Happy because I was finally out of stress but upset because one source of income reduced.

What followed was that I was supposed to go for my corporate show rehearsal and before that I was to transfer money to OT's account. Now I had two cheques both of different banks. To cut a long story short, basically I was running around for three hours to get the money transferred and finally couldn't even do that.

I come back all famished, only to realize I had forgotten to take my keys. Worse, my phone got switched off because of low battery. I had no option but to walk up to the company where my roommates work, hope to see some known faces and ask them to call any of my roommates. This process was also an elaborate one hour process which finally got over. Immediately after I came back I had to go to the place where my garba workshop was supposed to be conducted. I went there and took my roommate along. I told her we'll be done in some half an hour but it took a whopping 3 hours from 7pm to 10pm. But those were one of the best three hours. Anyway, it turned out to be quite an enlightening one. I met this guy who was a dancer who told me a lot about business strategies and tactics.

I was actually so dazed that I wanted to write all those points down.

Anyway, the day ended with blissful dinner with OT and Madhavi in my house, candle light and yellow lights across the balcony on the 9th floor , scenic view from the balcony.

And suddenly, everything in the world seems fine.

Wonders what A.R.Rahman must be thinking

You know I always ask people around... What will be going through A.R. Rahman's mind when he would listen to his own music piece. Would he be thinking "Wow, can anyone believe I'm such a prodigy" , or "How can I be so awesome?".

Have you ever thought of anything like this whenever you have done any work?

I haven't.

Anyway, I got a huge collection of all A.R.Rahman songs from a friend's external hard disk the other day. Not to forget the collection of How I Met Your Mother too, which has got me all fat and old because all I do is watch it all the time.

Its weird because in college I had decided not to watch any more TV series after F.R.I.E.N.D.S because a)I spent my entire one month vacation only doing that. And when I say ONLY. Imagine ONLY. I brushed and bathed in the evening. Slept for five hours, got up and started watching friends. It was a crazy addiction. But this seems to have started again.

Have you realised sometimes that when we try to make a point with valid arguments, we say "A)" and we don't either have a "B)" or end up putting some lame point. Zubair made me realize this once. And that is what just happened above.

My next book is going to be Shantaram. I have heard so much about it that I just have to grab the next copy. Wrapping up with my Luanne Rice's Summer Light.

I'm going to be a part of a Kannada movie dance sequence. I'll be travelling this week. Lets see how this goes.

And ya, if any dance readers out there, this is for you all. Rama Vaidhyanathan, the versatile Bharatanatyam dancer is coming to Bangalore on September 16th. I had seen her performance once before and I had blogged about it. http://priyakumarnitb.blogspot.com/2010/04/can-i-live-life-of-danseuse.html

Its so weird. Exactly a year ago, I was thinking about whether I can live the life of a danseuse. And exactly a year later, here I am living it. :)

Check out her schedule on facebook.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/RAMA-VAIDYANATHAN/54554134237

And ya, please don't forget to check out my site www.piah.in :)

I don't feel like giving this one a title

There are so many things in my mind right now. I am feeling utterly cluttered in the head. Today was such a mix of good and bad things that I don't know what to write. Its like a thousand voices inside at the same time that I feel like closing my ears and asking it all to stop. I had a good start today. I helped my roommate exercise today first thing in the morning. Made some good breakfast and sat to work. I just happened to realize then how much I have slacked off this week.

My visiting card is not done yet.

I need to get a dance photoshoot done asap.

I have to get my website www.piah.in functioning.

I need to make a poster regarding a dance aerobics class for ladies.

Anyway, my day started pretty well, and I took a dance session for the kids in the afternoon, something that totally got my mind off all the things. They invited me to play basketball with them after the class got over. I taught them how to take a lay up shots. We did that for sometime and then they taught me to play throw ball. Did you know I have never played throw ball in my entire life?

I had a good time with the kids. I really enjoy being with them .An

d you can always be sure that they'll say whatever is there in their mind. And will NEVER judge anybody.

I had a momentary lapse afterwards when I heard that an IIT-Madras student committed suicide because his project was withheld for six months. I felt more strongly towards it because I have close ones who have gone through the same and I can put it in writing that they were one of the smartest people in college.

The worst part being that students are generally not withheld becaus

e they did not fair well or did not complete their project properly. Many cases where the professor just does not "like" the student or has some personal issues with him/her is taken out during projects. There are students getting 80% above in all subjects but withheld in projects. Something does not fit, because to believe that IIT would set theoretical papers that any not-so-smart person will be able to crack it is not something a prestigious institute like that would do.

Basically, this news brought my mood down a little. But coping up with it by listening to the piano version of songs by Aakash Gandhi on youtube.com. It is like therapy for me nowadays.

This is a picture of me when I was doing yoga some days back in my apartment. I took it on self timer so couldn't set it to full length.

Anyway, my dance academy has a student who is doing her arangetram tomorrow. I'm planning to wear my green and white saree to the event. I also plan to take my diary and make an entire list of everything I see there, full preparations.

Feeling accomplished for the day's routine. Finally.

First things first. I just realized that I use the word "feel" a lot more than "think". I guess it has something to do with my INFJ characteristic taken from the Myers Brigg test. So I have stuck a chart on my wall behind my bed which has a time table where I have written that I'm supposed to sleep by 10.00pm and get up everyday at 6.00am. Dance classes in the morning on Tuesdays and Thursdays and the rest of the days get up and practice my full flip and aramandi.

In terms of health, to eat one spoon of flaxseed daily, drink 10 bottles of water, 2 cups of green tea.

I made that chart and conveniently ran off to Bandipur. All routine to dogs. I did what we call the EXACT opposite of following the routine. But then, I also got back and got to shape.

And when I say shape, I mean started shedding all the extra fat from my thigh accumulated from the overeating at Bandipur.

So today, for the first time in a long long time, I ate dinner by 8.30. Went for my dance class in the morning, practiced aramandi for sometime. For the people who dont know what aramandi is, in Bharatnatyam the half sitting position with your hands on your waist and legs bent so as to form a V is called Aramandi. That is the basic step of Bharatnatyam. Something like Sa Re Ga Ma of Music. But its definitely tougher than that. The pure shivering of your thighs, the bending forward of the upper body , the excruciating pain you feel directly in your thigh muscles, which screams and says you can do no more.

But thats the catch. Once you go past that excruciating pain, the dance is as beautiful as the effort put to get your aramandi right.

So as happy as I am right now in accomplishing the day's routine, I just realized its already 10.45pm and I'm past bedtime. Damn.

Oh last thing, I got wet in the rain today. It felt so amazing looking at everyone hunting for a shelter and I was walking in the rain and listening to music. Plus, luckily I saw this boiled corn guy so took a cup of hot,steaming corn and started walking in the rain again. Long time since I did that. I know it might not seem like a big thing, but it felt so perfectly liberating. Like I broke all the norms and shackles of right and wrong and decided to go the rebel way.

Time to pack up.

Goodnight readers.

Its finally here. The promo video .

My dance workshop got over. And it went really well for my debut. Hardly any profit in the first event, but at least I covered the cost incurred to the conduct the event.

Right from the choreography, the thought behind which dance step to keep which will be easy by a non dancer, and at the same time ensuring every step could be broken down into segments so that it is understandable.

It was my first experience. So I can still see amateur quality in the choreography, the video too.

No regrets at all. Because however be it, I'm going to continue making more videos. And now, my videos will focus on performance rather than events. For the time being at least.

Plus the promo video gave me quite a tough time because it had been long since I had worked on Movie Maker. Nevertheless. I'm proud of it. Here is my first promo video .

Things left to do now are

1)make a visiting card

2)make a website.

But anyway, glad I stayed up and finished this video.

I finally made a start. :)

Do give me suggestions on how to improve the videos and video making style.

Day 6 : Never forget hidden costs

One important advice. When you plan something, DO NOT forget overhead costs.

Also, never ASSUME you'll get something at concession.

Rookie Mistake for the first event I am organizing.

My challenges now are

a) Get at least 15 people for the workshop just for break even.

And no, I'm not thinking of charging more or getting profit, because I just want to see whether this concept works.

So, my plans of conducting this event for two days got pretty much ruined. Finance wise things didn't seem to fit. So I had to push the event to one day for 3 hours straight. I don't know how it will go, and lets hope I break even.

Here is my poster for this event.

Fingers crossed. :):):)

Lets hope I can get a breakeven.

Im not working.. Im whining

I'm down with a bad cold, have been planning a few things for the past few days to finish. Since I came back to Bangalore from an India trip, I had decided Ill take enough initiative and join dance classes and then look for a job.

a) Ive just started looking for dance classes, which hasn't gone very well

b) My portfolio is nowhere near to be made

c) I haven't even chalked out a plan to what types of job to look at. Leave alone applying to any of them.

The few attempts I made in the past few days were all unfruitful . Every night I would come back home whining that things didn't work out my way, but do you want to know why it REALLY didn't work out? Its because I didn't try enough.

You know when sometimes in life, you try something but you already know you wont get it, the effort is less than half because you are defeated in the mind. I dont know why I am having this.

Thats where I turn to blogging, because I know that this is the only place which will get my thoughts together, get my act together and take the initiative, be pushy.

I need to get out of my comfort zone and take the initiative.

And yet again, typing down the thoughts does relax my mind . Im glad

A bright, new, happy 2011 !!!

I have so many things to write today. So I went about it by jotting down all the points I wanted to write before I forget. This substantiates the fact of my fetish for making lists.

I had a very happy New Year's Eve party last night. I danced like crazy. And suddenly I realized that its the most fun thing dancing with A.K. Everything suddenly becomes bliss. I know he is not a big fan of dancing. But I also know that he doesn't mind dancing once in a while with me. I was just a little worried towards the end because Popat became unwell. Also that I lost my clutch that had my debit card and my license. (Zufair : I know. This must be making you really happy. This is still nothing compared to the four cards you lost in six months)

Still, somehow these little roadblocks didn't stop me from feeling happy about the New Year Eve party. I think because it had a lot to do with the fact that I had all my close ones in Bangalore (Zufair was missing though :(..I wish he had been there too.) , the blissful dance with A.K and the final countdown to 2011. Honestly, after that precious moment when the crowds shouted "5..4..3..2..1", I became so emotional that I started crying. It just takes a drop of the hat for my tears to start rolling.

On this note, I want to make a special mention of A.K who has made my journey in Bangalore really special. Sometimes in life you need a cushion, to fall back on when you know the world slaps you with a hard hand. I have so much faith in him, because I know I have him in my life. There is immense happiness and tonnes of happy tears when I'm with him. I'm so glad that there's been a great beginning for 2011. I'm so glad that even the little fights we have had has never let me stop seeing the big picture, and realize there are more important things in life than winning some petty fight. And as I mentioned before, I've never loved dancing with anyone as much I have loved dancing with you.

This New Year Eve party involved me doing a lot of shopping. I have A.K's Canon Powershot SX110 IS which is THE best thing I could have in my hand. I took pictures of all the dresses and shoes that I bought. Will upload once I get the data cable from him. Also, along with those dresses, I suddenly got the mood to try out different styles of clothing from whatever I have in my wardrobe. How it all started was, I was watching these "How to dress in Style" videos on youtube.com. And seeing these girls team up simple t-shirts with belts and looking like style icons inspired me to do the same. Fortunately, I succeeded in creating one top-jeans-shoes-belt combination which looked pretty good. Anyway, I clicked pictures of me wearing them.

Adding to my list of things that I need to do in the next two days includes inquiring about my lost clutch, my lost driver's license, and getting a new debit card. I'll be joining dance classes soon.

Adding to the New Year resolution list :

1)Get a professional photoshoot.

2)Dont let people treat you like a pushover(Learn to be firm and ward unwanted people away).

Music I'm listening to :Beyonce, Irreplacable (Spanish version)

Book I'm reading : Catcher in the Rye by J.D Salinger

Weird Fact of the Day : When you type "add" in T9 on your mobile, the first word that it gives you is "bed". ( I don't know how "bed" is a more common word than "add"... Don't want to think deeper into this though. (chuckle))

Health Tip I just learned : Just found out that lycopene, found in tomatoes are absorbed in the body only if you take in with a little amount of fat. The best suggestion is to add a little olive oil to the salad. Time to buy Olive Oil I think.

Also, I oiled and steamed my hair. Lately I have been having more bad hair days than good ones. Soon , I plan to visit the dentist and the dermatologist to get myself checked.

Finally, I'm taking this moment to thank all the people who were there for me in 2010. In no particular order :Zubair ,Urvi, Alfan, Prerna, Amar, Indu, Animesh, Amit, Farah, Vivek, PU, Tirus, Smriti, Sonali, Harsh Mishra, GT, Pratham, Goli, Polly, Mom and Dad, Abhishek,juniors like Monika, Rakesh, Manju, the gujjus Amit, Megha(the biggest Gunti), Rekha (the biggest Drama Queen)..the IT Folks : Nandu, Chansal, Apurva, YK, Ritika and others, my basketball team: Sarita, Rachna, Siddhant, Rekha and all the others in the girls and guys team, Work people like Kranthi, Anup, Supriya, Madhavi, Komal, Jigisha, Madhurita, Ramya, Komal, Renjit, Vimmy, Eswar, Sumesh,my blog twin Anurag aka Lavinor.

And finally A.K... for giving me all the happiness I ever wanted.

(I apologize if I forgot a few names.. It might just mean that you were very important but always there.. so didn't click in my head)

New Year Resolutions..

This might not be the entire list. But just the few that I decided to put up :

1. To take a pledge to donate all my body organs that can be donated after I pass away. (Its a grieving resolution, but I thought why not help someone else after I am gone?)
2. To decide what tattoo to get and get it before 2011.
3. To read one book every fortnight. That way, to read 24 books in 2011. And add a (+1) to make it my lucky number. Makes it 25 books in 2011.
4. Stop procrastinating. This is a resolution I keep every year, but fail to stick to it.
5. Get going on Bharatanatyam . I suddenly realised I have only one and a half years to complete my aim of doing an Arangetram before I turn 25. Atleast let me start now, if not 25 , Ill still do it someday.

Will fill in some more that are to come by tomorrow.
Happy New Year all of you!!! :):) Stop drinking and getting slaushed this New Year Eve. Wake up early morning, and get ready to kick start a bright, new morning. :)

I love Simpsons!

I love every character in that show. Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa , Maggie , Santa's Little Helper. The entire family is super cute!!!

I did not get to blog much since my dance. Blame it on my dance a little though. Oh btw, while we are on it, lemme tell you that I was very very disappointed with my dance. Not because there was no synchronization in the dancers, but the concept itself was something I didnt enjoy right from the beginning. So the problem is that there are two schools of thought.

1) People who think that just by playing the audience's favourite song one can pass off any dance.

2) People see dance only for the dance, not for the music.

I agree I may be the biggest extreme of the latter (which again is not a good thing), but there were people who swore by the former. And because of majority, I gave in. Anyway, as long as I had something to work for, I am happy.

On the Simpsons note, this show gets out all my maternal instincts. You know its weird, but I really think I can take care of little ones well. I think the best indication how you ll be with your kid is by seeing how you keep your pet dog. And I thoroughly pamper Polly, to the extent of spoiling her.

Looking forward for this weekend, explore Cochin.

Winters make me real sleepy, and I have food cravings all the time. But I love to sleep during winters. After getting back from Cochin though, I plan to decorate my room in pretty twinkly lights and finalize my 2011 list. Lets see how it goes.

@Lavinor : Ill make the list before 2011 starts, for sure.

One hectic day leads to another lazy day...

I just got up from a nice afternoon siesta. Well, not nice I must say... I kept having these random choreography in mind and then couldnt sleep very properly. But because of yin yang, I got up, danced with my roommates and I became all fine. I thought of meeting Purnima today, but because of being late, I got late. So now I have plans of watching Harry Potter 7 (I know I'm late).
I was a little bossy with the dancers today I think, I'm a little guilty of that. I believe in Karma. Put two and two together. :(

Time to get dressed and go for the movie. Suddenly I'm very happy. :):)

And I know why.
On that note, I just remembered how much I love the books of Luanne Rice. She has a lot fo warmth in her books. I have read only two of them till now, but wish to go to Blossoms, Bangalore and buy all the books available. Its a must read for those who take a minute to cry,and a second to laugh it off afterwards.

You ll get what you want ... When the time comes..

The person knows this one is for him/her. So, Ive always believed in the theory that if you really really want something in life, there cant be a case where you would never get it. The only reason you would'nt have got it because you did not REALLY want it. I have seen people saying , "Gosh , I wish I was so lucky" . But dude, whoever out there says it, hope you realise that you are in the queue of getting it. A) Just REALLY want it. B) Have patience.

Anyway, I lived the day of my ancestors. It sounds absurd I know. But I always had learnt that our ancestors , going back to cavemen used to hunt for animals almost 16 hours of the day. So essentially, all they did throughout the day was to workout, and then come back and sleep. But then the new age set it and lethargy entered in all of us, being content in our umpteenth cup of coffee and sitting at our office desks from 9 to 5.
I had a friendly match with another college in Bangalore today morning, and we were not bad either. I came back , got ready for dance practice for our annual day, and then came back home, changed and ran to run the 5 Km Marathon run. There were 3000 participants out of which I was 6th in the women's category. Not too bad for me. Unfortunately they only had medals for top 5. Nevertheless, it was a proud moment for me to have finished the race. Im glad.

Time to sleep now!!! Long day ahead.
At the end of the day, Im completely exhausted, but proud of myself

Another day of a lost fight with my own self...

Its been a few days since Zufair pointed out a few flaws in me. The same flaws that Ive been living with all my life, something Ive never wanted to have in me. and yet, there are moments when I lose it.
I dont want to punish myself repeatedly for it, because it will dull down my morale, at the same time cut down those flaws, just like how a chain smoker would cut down his cigarettes in a rehabilitation center.

Isnt it so ironic that when I was small, and I would see my loved ones smoking , I would often wonder how weak would their will power be to be able to conquer smoking and just go cold turkey. But now that I look at me, it doesnt seem much different to conquer this flaw of mine. The tendency to lose temper fast, the tendency to feel hurt soon. Infact feeling hurt sooner is a much bigger flaw than losing temper. Feeling hurt is followed by self pity, which makes me feel utterly miserable, dependent and vulnerable.

Like today, I was silly enough to have a momentary lapse of temper with Zufair just because he made fun of my hair. (@Zufair : Openly admitting my shortcoming suggests that I am trying to improve and take in the right spirit :))

And then something as stupid as OT scolding me for not using other people's cellphones to take photos. Worse to come, I actually looked for another reason to be angry at him, a reason big enough that could destroy important strings attached in life. When I look at the bigger picture, I know how much importance this person holds in my life. I can see the effort taken from that side to keep me happy. And I am.


Then for what did I get hurt? Just to satisfy my ego? To prove me right?
I know that someday will come where I dont let anger rule over me.
And the struggle for it has already begun.

So at the end of the day, I tag this blog as "I_am_grateful_for" because I am grateful there have been these two people who have been with me and tolerated me inspite of my flaws.

I really want to be what Russell Peters says (in Zufair's rendition)
"When you look at a tree, and if there was a camera that would take pictures of what is going on inside your head, you should be able to see nothing."

This one doesnt have a title

With each passing day, I tend to believe even more that blogging makes me really happy. After a long , hard day of multi tasking and trying to make ends meet at work, there is nothing better than listening to some nice music and just writing out everything that is in my head. Somehow it helps me clear declutter my mind.

The latest thing that has caught my fancy is singing along with Karaoke on Youtube. I sang along to a few songs till now, my favourite being Yellow by Coldplay, You 're still the one by Shania Twain and Zombie by Cranberries. Zombie just came by chance, I heard our office band singing this song during one of their jam sessions. I loved it so much that I actually went to the extent of making my roommate call one of those guys to find out what the song was.
Talking of music, Zufair just reminded me of how much I am in love with Mohit Chauhan's voice.
So listening to one of his latest songs from his album Fitoor.

My annual day dance is getting me a little stressed out. Its a lot of factors put together, different people having different opinions, not able to find the perfect time for everyone to come and practice .. and most importantly, these practice sessions have been taking out this mean person inside me .
I was a little rude with Psycho today, was really mean with some of the guys who keep commenting on everything and anything under the sun. I feel like Im behaving like a total arrogant b*&%$ when I'm trying to get practice done . I dont like that side of me. And honestly, I think Im not doing my job well if Im not keeping the dancers happy. I feel responsible somehow to make this dance go smoothly. I am not expecting the best dance to come out of this, but something that makes me happy and rememeber it as a performance that I did. So yeah, I feel a little guilty now, but charged up to try and be nicer to people when dance practice is going on.

More on my updates. I have a friendly basketball match with one of the best women's team of Bangalore. God save us. On a fitness note, there is a midnight marathon organised in Bangalore every year. I plan to run the IT run event which is a 4.2 Km run. I just hope Im able to squeeze in some time to do all these things.

Today, I just realised how even talking to some people for sometime and uplift one's mood to such a brilliant level.

And the weirdest part is that I began writing my blog with the intention to ramble along for sometime. :)

Good Morning - Daily Dose 29/11/2010

I got up today morning with a bad headache, total guilt from saying nasty things last night and as a result with the fear that Ill lose loved ones. One thing that I realised about myself. I can be a complete b%&$@ with other people when Im angry at them, but when I look inside, I know that its me Im angry at. The real reason is actually that I'm not happy with my own life. The feeling of unfulfilment is always inside me. And I desperately need to do something about it. I can be happy with other people only if I am happy with myself. So I just need to take a few baby steps in order to make my life a better place.



First of all, I sincerely apologize to A.K , for being so nasty. You are a wonderful person at heart, and I always want you to have the best in life. Im going to be there with you and help you out whenever you need me. You have always been really nice to me , and maybe for sometime I took that for granted. I am lucky to have you in my life.

Ill try from now to be a nicer person.



I take an oath that Im going to write a daily Thanksgiving message for those things that Im thankful to , or grateful to have.