7am to 10pm Love. Philosophy. Updates About Life.

I would not be exaggerating if I say I have been working for about 14 hours a day, which includes at least five to seven hours of dancing and easily two hours of travel. Its funny though because I do not mind it one bit. In fact I absolutely love it. You might think it is because I am a workaholic, but the reality is because I feel good about the fact that I have enough work on my platter.

Being a freelancer, having busy days definitely gives you the greatest high possible. I started dancing professionally when I was almost 24. So essentially, I still have just about three years experience. I always do things in a hurry, talk in a hurry, work in a hurry. I think it has something to do with the fact that my clock is ticking faster. I have lesser time to achieve what a 16 year old dancer can.

I just decided to share my thoughts with you.

I like blogging because it is like talking to someone who wants to listen to me.
I like talking. A lot.
I can talk for hours together without getting bored. From fashion to wellness to telling them how much I love my cat and my dog. To how much I love dancing. And food. And everything.

I am famous for passing out in the living room each night, even if we have a house party. And then waking up early in the morning just so that I can wake others up and talk to them.

I am loving the thought of next week. I am traveling to Mumbai on Monday and performing for the prestigious Daksha Sheth Dance Company. And I cannot express how much I am in awe of Daksha Didi's choreography.

Our team from Piah Dance Company is then leaving for Salem on Tuesday for a performance, and I am finally leaving for Gujarat to take a vacation with my family. I do not know how much sleep I will get. But you know what, I shall pass out whenever I can and get my dosage of sleep anyway.

In between all this, our company is doing a choreography for a school . I love kids just because they have no ego in them. If they like someone they say it. Simple. No ego comes to play even a little bit. 

So these I am working on believing more in myself. Not that I do not believe. But just that I need to believe more than I currently do. Not that that has anything to do with whether I really can or not. But just to believe I can.

Have you ever had days where you really want someone to come and evaluate you, in the most rightful manner, because you are just not able to evaluate yourself right? That happens with me. A lot. And honestly, the sooner I believe that I only can evaluate myself best, the better. There will always be bias otherwise. Friends and family will say better-than-real things to you. People who can see faults in you will focus more on the faults. So essentially I need to grow up and understand I cannot be spoon fed anymore.

So I shall tell you a little secret. But you need to promise me you won't judge me.
Actually even if you do, I will still share it. 

I have a dream of writing a book. A happy book. I do not know how it will go. But it will just be happy. You will feel happy at the end of it. It will not preach, or ask you to do things a particular way. Nor will it be a self help book. It will just be a happy book.

I have always loved motivating someone who has been feeling low in their lives. Maybe because I have felt low quite a few times too. And that feeling sucked. So bad.

And yes, the person who wrote a mail to me regarding the same, I am sorry I wasn't able to get back to you sooner, but I soon will. And I will try and make you feel better hopefully.

Honestly, I do not know where this blog is going. Its like a outlet where I am just talking. Maybe I should stop now. Good luck with reading this entirely. And if you have reached the bottom of this page and are reading this exact sentence right now, then you are a really good listener. 

I really should stop now.
Be happy, because I know shit happens to all of us. So lets keep the shit aside for a while and enjoy the not-so-shitty part of life. 
Look at my cat and dog if you like pets. They are really cute. 

This month of December

You know this weird moment when you meet a friend after many years and all of a sudden you are in a loss of words? That happens with me whenever I take a sabbatical from blogging for a while. Even though I have so many things in my head all the time, when it comes to blogging after a long time, everything in the head seems in a mess. But let me go ahead and write anyway.

December is a very cozy month. I think its the worst month to work. I fortunately planned my work and took off a nice twelve day holiday and came to Ahmedabad. I think offices should just give a big, nice December vacation. The weather is always chilly, makes you want to wear socks in the house, sit on your bean bag and just drink a nice cup of Chai. And it feels even more awesome when your roommate comes with your blanket and puts in on you when you have fallen asleep on the bean bag.

December is all about reds and greens and whites and festivity.

December is all about Christmas and New Year Eve parties and planning for the New Year Eve Parties.

December is about looking pretty almost all the time. (I am a very winter fashion person. You ask me to wear one sundress and I'll be a mess. But if you ask me to dress up for winter, I use a lot of layers and create something nice)

December is about pretty scarves. Loads of them.

December is about boots. God, those boots I would die for.

December is about a lot of love. I have come to believe that November and December are the two best months for love. Just the whole winter feeling is very romantic.

December is about Plum Cakes and Wine.

December is about paper snowflakes stuck at every restaurant.

December is about the New Year Eve party. The happy dancing. The midnight kiss.

December is about being cozy and lazy and sleepy.

December is about sleeping at a very odd time during late afternoon and getting up when its dark. Even though its just some sevenish.

Who wants to work in the month of December now?

P. S : I was planning my New Year Eve dress. Looks something like this.

Have a great New Year Eve party Everyone!!!

Early morning, time to get up and get going

I got up a little early today. Even in spite of not having my dance class today morning.

So I have a few things to do for my agenda today. Today's main agenda is getting sponsorship for this programme of my dance class . There is an event happening in July for which I need sponsorship worth 2L. Ive done some small level sponsorship in my college where I did not get too much either. Infact I hardly got anything out it. Thats why I thought I venture in for a few days and see how successful I can be at getting sponsorship.

Secondly, I have my regular dance class today evening. Before that, I need to finish my regular stretching, the aim for being able to do a full split . Shockingly, yesterday after I got done with my stretches and cooled down, and when I sat for dinner, I saw a few scars on my knee, the ones you get when someone punches you or you hit some object very hard. Like a blood clot. It was pretty scary and the spookily the first thing I remembered was the movie "Black Swan". And ouch, the scar hurts a little. But as most experienced dancers say, if you can live with the pain like nothing happened and continue dancing, the pain will go. I am not a firm believer of that in many cases. I believe it works when you have an internal ailment, like fever or cold. But if your bones are damaged, let them rest for sometime before messing with it.

Ironically, the same person who is saying this ended up practicing for 6 hours straight before the dance auditions with a damaged ankle and succeeded in reducing the pain. I just dont understand how the human anatomy works.

Anyway, these days I have got totally obsessed with dance. I dont remember a single night after coming back from the auditions where I haven't dreamt of being auditioned . And surprisingly, everytime I seem to be getting selected in every dream. Seriously weird as I thought I got over the whole auditions thing, got back to Bangalore and started planning of what to do next.

By the way, I am planning to conduct my first ever dance workshop in my apartment itself. I plan to schedule it next week. I need to get a flyer ready so that I can stick it all around my Apartment complex. I am still finalising on he dance style and which audience to target.

Fingers crossed.

Twas a very good day...

The first half didn't go that well because of my laziness. But second half compensated for it all.

Did a few things :

Called up the dance class. Not luck on that front yet.

Bought a cot finally.

Put curtains in my room.

Bought a lot of food stuff for the week.

Cleaned my room completely.

Got my shoes repaired.

Thats quite a lot of stuff for today.

I'm too sleepy now, so will write about my day in detail tomorrow, hopefully after getting back from office.

Monday tomorrow, I'm sure the Monday Morning Blues are going to hit me again. Need to crack it by getting up and going to the gym.

Thats all from my end for the day.

Oh before I go..

Health Tip of the Day : Fenugreek (Methi) is the best cure for hair fall. Just start having the water in which fenugreek seeds are soaked overnight. I might be buying fenugreek in a few days. Will post updates about how effective it is for my hair.

A bright, new, happy 2011 !!!

I have so many things to write today. So I went about it by jotting down all the points I wanted to write before I forget. This substantiates the fact of my fetish for making lists.

I had a very happy New Year's Eve party last night. I danced like crazy. And suddenly I realized that its the most fun thing dancing with A.K. Everything suddenly becomes bliss. I know he is not a big fan of dancing. But I also know that he doesn't mind dancing once in a while with me. I was just a little worried towards the end because Popat became unwell. Also that I lost my clutch that had my debit card and my license. (Zufair : I know. This must be making you really happy. This is still nothing compared to the four cards you lost in six months)

Still, somehow these little roadblocks didn't stop me from feeling happy about the New Year Eve party. I think because it had a lot to do with the fact that I had all my close ones in Bangalore (Zufair was missing though :(..I wish he had been there too.) , the blissful dance with A.K and the final countdown to 2011. Honestly, after that precious moment when the crowds shouted "5..4..3..2..1", I became so emotional that I started crying. It just takes a drop of the hat for my tears to start rolling.

On this note, I want to make a special mention of A.K who has made my journey in Bangalore really special. Sometimes in life you need a cushion, to fall back on when you know the world slaps you with a hard hand. I have so much faith in him, because I know I have him in my life. There is immense happiness and tonnes of happy tears when I'm with him. I'm so glad that there's been a great beginning for 2011. I'm so glad that even the little fights we have had has never let me stop seeing the big picture, and realize there are more important things in life than winning some petty fight. And as I mentioned before, I've never loved dancing with anyone as much I have loved dancing with you.

This New Year Eve party involved me doing a lot of shopping. I have A.K's Canon Powershot SX110 IS which is THE best thing I could have in my hand. I took pictures of all the dresses and shoes that I bought. Will upload once I get the data cable from him. Also, along with those dresses, I suddenly got the mood to try out different styles of clothing from whatever I have in my wardrobe. How it all started was, I was watching these "How to dress in Style" videos on youtube.com. And seeing these girls team up simple t-shirts with belts and looking like style icons inspired me to do the same. Fortunately, I succeeded in creating one top-jeans-shoes-belt combination which looked pretty good. Anyway, I clicked pictures of me wearing them.

Adding to my list of things that I need to do in the next two days includes inquiring about my lost clutch, my lost driver's license, and getting a new debit card. I'll be joining dance classes soon.

Adding to the New Year resolution list :

1)Get a professional photoshoot.

2)Dont let people treat you like a pushover(Learn to be firm and ward unwanted people away).

Music I'm listening to :Beyonce, Irreplacable (Spanish version)

Book I'm reading : Catcher in the Rye by J.D Salinger

Weird Fact of the Day : When you type "add" in T9 on your mobile, the first word that it gives you is "bed". ( I don't know how "bed" is a more common word than "add"... Don't want to think deeper into this though. (chuckle))

Health Tip I just learned : Just found out that lycopene, found in tomatoes are absorbed in the body only if you take in with a little amount of fat. The best suggestion is to add a little olive oil to the salad. Time to buy Olive Oil I think.

Also, I oiled and steamed my hair. Lately I have been having more bad hair days than good ones. Soon , I plan to visit the dentist and the dermatologist to get myself checked.

Finally, I'm taking this moment to thank all the people who were there for me in 2010. In no particular order :Zubair ,Urvi, Alfan, Prerna, Amar, Indu, Animesh, Amit, Farah, Vivek, PU, Tirus, Smriti, Sonali, Harsh Mishra, GT, Pratham, Goli, Polly, Mom and Dad, Abhishek,juniors like Monika, Rakesh, Manju, the gujjus Amit, Megha(the biggest Gunti), Rekha (the biggest Drama Queen)..the IT Folks : Nandu, Chansal, Apurva, YK, Ritika and others, my basketball team: Sarita, Rachna, Siddhant, Rekha and all the others in the girls and guys team, Work people like Kranthi, Anup, Supriya, Madhavi, Komal, Jigisha, Madhurita, Ramya, Komal, Renjit, Vimmy, Eswar, Sumesh,my blog twin Anurag aka Lavinor.

And finally A.K... for giving me all the happiness I ever wanted.

(I apologize if I forgot a few names.. It might just mean that you were very important but always there.. so didn't click in my head)

New Year Resolutions..

This might not be the entire list. But just the few that I decided to put up :

1. To take a pledge to donate all my body organs that can be donated after I pass away. (Its a grieving resolution, but I thought why not help someone else after I am gone?)
2. To decide what tattoo to get and get it before 2011.
3. To read one book every fortnight. That way, to read 24 books in 2011. And add a (+1) to make it my lucky number. Makes it 25 books in 2011.
4. Stop procrastinating. This is a resolution I keep every year, but fail to stick to it.
5. Get going on Bharatanatyam . I suddenly realised I have only one and a half years to complete my aim of doing an Arangetram before I turn 25. Atleast let me start now, if not 25 , Ill still do it someday.

Will fill in some more that are to come by tomorrow.
Happy New Year all of you!!! :):) Stop drinking and getting slaushed this New Year Eve. Wake up early morning, and get ready to kick start a bright, new morning. :)

What one thinks of themselves..

Ill be honest. Lately Ive been realising that what I perceive of myself is a lot to do with what others think of me. Very surprising, since I was the exact opposite of this earlier. I must admit that its a very bad thing as it leads to serious vulnerability. I feel the need to change.

I think this feeling creeped in me only today, otherwise normally Im pretty much satisfied with myself on most days. :) Call it a "Bad Mood Day", but thought of posting it. Anyway, other updates about me are I almost missed an opportunity to play Basketball in Nepal. Sad as it was, but it was a mix of different reasons because of which I missed it. An ankle sprain and no leave granted, put together. Plus, it was a bit too soon. No regrets though.. It was a step. Maybe next time.

My dance for the next month's company annual event is going on at full force. Even with my sprained ankle, Im able to manage a few slides and jumps during the dance. Ironically, Im doing a full fleged hip hop dance with the guys. Looking forward to it. :)

Thats about it for now.
PS : I made another discovery. Blogging about my updates and emotions makes me really happy. :)

To learn from them...

A few things that I learnt today. Always try to get the best out of people around. It will really help you become a better person.
So I already told you about Lavinor Online and how I decided to make a resolution list of my own.
Today I also decided to pick up good reading habits from A.K. He has been a voracious reader since childhood. And it really impresses me to see how engrossed he can get when he starts reading books. I really respect his love for books and the way he has been in a relationship with them forever.
Im going to get pushy to get myself enrolled in a dance class . And get going with Bharatanatyam.

General Updates : I'm really excited about 3rd Nov,2010. :)
You know the biggest realisation I had today? I have this daily dose of caring for people. Maternal Instinct sort of. So I just have to care for someone around. Whoever it may be, but till I dont vent it out.. I feel suffocated. Thats why when I was at home, I vented out all my maternal instincts on Polly by papmering her all the time. Its not always a good thing, because it could easily be of annoyance to people who like living a carefree life, but you can let your care go to those channels in a controlled manner. Till you know they dont mind it.

My cooking spree was on a sabbatical for a while, have gotten back to healthy cooking again. Made khichdi today. Will put up the recipe on my other cooking blog.

Moral of the day : Learn good things from everyone around you.

The journey so far...

So , after yet another long sabbatical from blogging, I'm finally charged up, ready to start blogging again.

So, few of the random attempts and resolutions taken during the first three months at Bangalore.

- Get thinner, jog for at least half an hour everyday in the gym below my building.

- Don't drink coffee at office, especially when you get stressed and have deadlines to meet.

- Don't get annoyed with people unnecessarily , especially when you know they care about you. and you know they care a lot about you.

- Speak yourself out, you know you need to speak up.

- Just realized that dates , and when I say dates, I mean the fruit (no pun intended) is very good for health

- Do one new thing every month, the assignment called "pet project of the month" by "Juna" .. Beginning with learning to solve the Rubik's cube this month.

- Smile, smile more when you are stressed. You know you cant beat the stress, so enjoy it.

So, its been a pretty awesome journey so far. Three months, seems like a lifetime. And I'm loving it.

Its a scary world , but its still comforting.

Getting over isnt easy.. neither is it difficult

I had my drishtant farewell yesterday. We had lunch at ranjeet . and then went to bharat bhawan for hot seats .. after a few hot seats got over, we went to watch the sunset .. that was one beautiful sight to watch.

I could see the hustling traffic through marine drive. I was standing on one side of the lake, with utmst peace and serenity, and there on the other side.. i saw many cars overtaking each other, rushing and pushing to reach their homes/work as soon as they could.

I was just thinking.. How can there be two such different lives on two sides of the same thing??

And then i realized ....Getting over pain isn't as difficult as i thought it to be. Just count your stars for whatever you have got.. and you'll be grateful not to brood over some pain.

Can I live the life of a danseuse?

It was.

It really was the amalgamation of body and soul.

Union of dancer and the dance.

She is Ms.Rama Vaidhyanathan. Born in Kerala, brought up in Delhi, she is 42, but looks nothing more than 20.

She inspired me to the extent that i thought i write something about her.

She performed a dance called "Navrasa Mohana" which meant, nine emotions which are shown towards Lord Krishna .

Bharanatayam is something that makes me forget all other beings in this world. And especially watching true grace inspired me so much.

I was sitting there, clapping, having tears in my eyes whenever she depicted each emotion, every moment thinking.. would I have been even half as good a dancer as her had I not left dance in the 10th standard.

Every thought occurring in my mind..Can i leave my job and just become a danseuse ? Will I be half as good if I only pursue dance in life? How spiritual must she be feeling doing every performance, everything coming from her heart?

Although i know one thing. Even if i never become a renowned dancer,I know for a fact that Ill never stop loving to dance. Its not the number of claps that one gets, its the feeling of moving to the beats of music.. raga.. taal.

Can I live a life of a danseuse?

...

...

is what i thought.

Bohemians that we are

Do you remember watching Adams Family when you were young? Yeah, we are similar. But worse. And we couldnt have been more proud of ourselves.

We live in our own world . We live by our own conventions. We have our own rules. We do our own things. We live in this blissful world of our home.

We enjoy the greatest time spending time with each other, sipping a cup of "Amma's Chai" , opening the windows and let the 4.00pm sun rays enter in. To top it, we have Polly sitting with us on the sofa , listening to our afternoon chit chat.

That is some time that no one can ever replace, I dont think that heavenly feeling of sitting and listening to Pratham and Mumma laugh can be replaced by anything in this world.