How narcissistic should one be?

The story behind a narcissist is that according Greek Mythology there was a guy named Narcissus who fell in love with his own reflection in a pool of water. Unable to consummate his relationship, he just waited by the pool of water forever and finally converted into a flower. 

It is a well known fact that everyone (excluding the very few exceptions) is trying to promote themselves on the internet, social networking sites and also when they meet people/friends/potential business opportunities. My understanding is that everyone can talk big about themselves only when they have an extremely high opinion of themselves / their work. Otherwise it would be very difficult to just blabber about their work or themselves without genuinely feeling good about themselves. And also that they should get into acting if they can really do that.

This then makes me wonder as to how much narcissism is actually good for your work/career. 

Say there are two people, one of them is an extremely talented piano player, but is extremely humble and never blows his own trumpet (no pun intended) but the other one is not as talented, but definitely not a bad piano player, but who keeps talking about himself and announcing his achievements all the time. 
From my experience, it looks like the person who talked about himself for a greater amount of time gets more music concerts than the one who is extremely talented but humble.

I wonder then, if that is actually true, as to why we stress so much on teaching kids about being humble and vanity is profanity. Is it actually profanity? Or is that narcissism that gets you forward in your career?

On the other hand, I have noticed that the people who are nice and down to earth are known to be better at working in a collaboration and get more work from the same client. That seems to me like the humble person might have more work from the same client (which may not be such a bad thing).

I have two simple questions in mind:

1)Does being humble mean you have an inferiority complex?Or does that mean you'll be able to grow as a more talented person given that you are open to criticism and self improvement?

2)Does being vain and narcissistic mean you'll go more forward in your career? Or will that hamper you as a frog living in a well?

I honestly used to be quite a vain person as a teenager. I used to think I am the smartest person on Earth. All that narcissism was brought down when I started meeting so many people and reading about so many people. Now I am on the side where I will promote my dance company, but not promote myself as much. Maybe that is a bad thing,I don't know?

What do you think? What gets you going in your career? Be it a corporate office, where you'll find many talkers who seem to know all ? Or are you into arts, and you are wondering whether you be like the guy who brags about himself all the time, or be the good guy who everyone likes?


Please share your thoughts. 

Your thoughts might be a life saver for a lot of people and their jobs, and also, to me. 

Do what makes you nothing but happy.

What is the point of doing anything otherwise? The primary reason why we as kids were asked to study, sleep early , eat food on time, play well, be a good child at school, grow up and go to a good college, get a reputed job , earn well was so that we could be happy. Everything that was asked from us as kids or even after we grew up by our parents was so that we could be happy. Why then would anyone do something that doesn't make us happy?

Think about it, I decided to succumb to something that didn't make me happy because I was scared not doing that MIGHT make me even more unhappy. The fear of greater unhappiness made us stick to the current status of dissatisfaction. You stay doing the same thing for the next thirty years. Assume you are 20 something, after 30 years you become 50 something. Salt and pepper hair, loose skin, wrinkles, all the glamour beginning to fade away. And then you think? Why did I do that particular thing that didn't make me happy?

I am a non drinker, non smoker. I have a lot of close friends who drink and smoke which is absolutely fine with me. I love them dearly and the smoking, drinking has nothing to do with my judgement of them. But there have been times in the past where I have been at parties with people I didn't know too well and always ended up being an outcast by being the only one who didn't drink and smoke. Smoking is fine as normally no one normally forces you to smoke. But not wanting to drink is quite a social stigma and people have come and told me I am like a 40 year old wanting to go to bed early without drinking (which I probably just might be). I have wished to succumb to that situation a few times, and honestly I have even decided to have a small glass of drink or something. I wake up the next day feeling totally groggy, my dance class mostly would have got missed as I would have got up late. And I feel like an entire day is about to get wasted.

Now, I am not oppose to the concept of drinking. I feel very happy for the people who get very happy drinking. It feels like a nice solution for the people who have drinking suit them. But it unfortunately does not suit my body. Why then, I wonder , should I succumb to something which ends up not making me feel happy?


This is an extremely trivial example of what I am talking about. But hope you get my point. Anything big or small that doesn't make us happy but we still do it, I don't know why. Like we get angry at someone who has been irritating us, and we end up feeling irritable long after the person has left. And then we are grumpy with ourselves, with our loved ones, with friends and family. What was the point then of feeling grumpy?

Life would be so much simpler if we just decide at every moment whether to do something or not to do something depending on whether it makes you happy. Now there are situations where doing something doesn't make you really happy but doesn't make you sad either. But say, it makes your spouse happy. Should you go ahead and do it? I say totally . Because seeing your spouse happy will make you feel happier (assuming it will) . Again comes around to doing what makes you happy. Even if the thing that makes you happy is seeing your loved one happy.

I can't sleep

I am back from my vacation. Its time to start work. I feel extremely jittery. The constant reminder that as each day passes my time to fulfill all my dreams is becoming lesser and lesser. I know that is a classic sign of impatience.

When I was in Andamans, I planned a lot of things to do, so many plans for Piah Dance Studio, and more than so many plans for myself as a dancer.

So when I got back three days back, one day went off in setting the house and being groggy all day as our multiple flights and never ending waiting time made us completely left without energy.

Now, two days later.. I made a list of all the plans and I'm suddenly feeling that I need to race at a faster speed. Thing is, whenever I finish one goal, there is a list of ten more goals added by then. Time just feels so less.

I'm not able to sleep because I'm already calculating how much more time for my arangetram, how much more time to get into national and even international performances (Yes, I hope to be really good one day, even if I'm not even half as good), then by how much time to get a plot and start an academy, how much more time amidst all this to try to work for TV Ads (yeah, that has been my new fantasy to work in advertisements), how much more time in between all this to be able to do a course in contemporary dancing abroad. Then at the same time reach a stage where I earn enough to do something big for the dogs, when is it that I'll get a chance to make a music video(or when is it that Ill get up and make one).

There are just these endless dreams to fulfill and I have this weird feeling that I need to stay awake to plan all of them, which is so not true, but the mind does not understand yet.

Today I woke up in my head.. I was talking to my dance teacher and told her I had wanted to buy her a saree. Thing is I got overly emotional when she came to my wedding and I burst out in tears. I had been wanting to buy her a gift for quite some time now. She said, "Please dont buy me any sarees. Good dancing is enough for me"... Now more than ever I need to do good dancing. Not just for my dreams. For her.

Valuable lessons to learn

A few really valuable lessons I learnt in the past few months. This might help a lot of other dancers, or even other freelancers. Some lessons which should be followed like a holy book. And always better to learn from other's mistakes.

1. It is absolutely easy to get lost in other's dreams and fulfill them and make your dreams come to a backseat. I realized that and decided to get back on track asap.
Quick Tip : Always, and I mean always plan your month ahead of time. Have you set deadlines for your own project? Stick to it. Let nothing come in the way, even if someone portrays it to be a big deal. Trust me , NOTHING can be a bigger deal than your dreams.

2. If you spend all your time building others' dreams, you have no time left to build yours.

I am going to be very self critical about the next one.

3. Understanding the finer nuances of dancing. Get critics to watch your dance and ask them what they did not like about the piece rather than what they did. I have a few friends who are not dancers, and their opinion completely counts. One friend, lets name him X for now. So X's opinion on one contemporary dance piece we had performed was this. "So it was all pretty and all, but honestly the story looked so made up. It looked like the compere needed to explain some story for people to understand, but the piece was only a set of 25 pretty looking contemporary steps but didn't really explain to me the theme explained initially". That friend doesn't know dancing one bit. But when he comes with me for Bharatanatyam, he understands each item even though he doesn't know mudras or anything. He is one of my closest people in the world. So I know it was all genuine. Its such an insight for me to learn. There is no point I live in the glory of my performance and not understand the bad points. Such an insight. Now I'll look at every contemporary dance and think whether it is just a set of pretty looking steps and some random story cooked up in the beginning to make it look like a lot is happening. Thanks X for giving me that insight. Never realized that before. I have seen a few contemporary dance pieces, and now I realized all of them have the same problem. The story is never in accordance to the dance.

4. Say No at the right time.


5.NEVER treat the people you work with badly. You need people more than anything to make any event successful. Even to do a solo performance, you'll need lights and other things to be done by someone else. If they work for you, treat them


6. Stop listening to bulls**t from others.
So the problem in the dancing industry is that each person is busy glorifying themselves at all time. "I know all items of Bharatanatyam very well", "I am an awesome dancer ", "I have a 'Diploma' ". And they find me the right catch to come and brag about themselves. Because they know I would listen to it without bragging about myself in return. Because of this flaw in me, I have seen so much bulls**t from really amateur dancers around that my tolerance to othersself-bragging and self-praising is bare minimum. I never claim I am fabulous. I still say I have a long way to go. And I know I do. But I wonder how some people find a confidence to claim they are so awesome and when I see them, there is this voice inside that tells me "I saw this one speaking too much, but not doing as much".

7. Every person will want you to work for them like as if they are giving you a big opportunity in life. I have never fallen for that trick. For me its a simple business deal. If they give me something, even I am giving them something. Its never a favor anyone has done.

One has to be quite a tough nut to crack when you are a freelancer. But you slowly learn what is right and what is wrong.

10 Things Every Girl Should Do

This is an extended version of this article I read in the June issue of India Today Woman Edition.

(Note that some points are taken from the India Today Woman Edition directly)

While writing these points, I was vividly reminded of the movie, ZombieLand.

1. Build your Brand

Use social media to share your thoughts, get social. Get to know people from different circles, the wider variety in your social circle, the more versatile your personality is.

2. Lift Weights

It will make you feel strong. Also, lifting weights is known to delay the onset of osteoporosis (a bone degenerating disorder that starts hitting women after 40), So keep yourself strong, your bones young.

3. Train for a Physical Test

Have you never been filled with admiration for all these sportswomen we see on TV? Or women who tested their true will power and lost so much of that extra weight that they came on the Flab to Fab article in some magazine? Plan out a test which tests your will power to the maximum limit. Like the next half marathon comes your way, train for it and take part. Or if you want to attain greater flexibility, train to attain a full split. Who says one can't achieve strength or flexibility if one wants to? Trust me, you are never old for anything. 

4. Upgrade your Look

Works for all women. Even those who claim that they don't believe in external looks. After all, a woman is a woman. And every woman loves to look beautiful. Try out a different look some day to work. Or get a new hair cut. You'll love the attention you get from your friends. Good looks is not everything I must say, but it definitely is one of those little things that enhances your mood on days when everything else seems blue.

5. Eat your Multivitamins

I had been going on and off about this one for quite some time now. But considering our current lifestyle, taking an extra pill a day won't do any harm to the liver. Especially for women, very very important to take calcium supplements. I'm going to be 25, and I'm a dancer, and I admit I have been getting the feeling of not having the strongest knees lately. Which is why I started taking calcium supplements and my knees feel much better actually. Try it out. But remember to consult a physician before taking tablets of any brand. 

6. Take Pictures

I don't know whether it works for everyone, but it is usually very important for me to take pictures of events happening from time to time so that I have a collection of photos and reminiscence from time to time.

7. Do your Cardio

This is taken from the movie Zombieland and is a definite hit. There is nothing like cardio which can get you fitter, faster. Considering we gain weight quickest on our hips, thighs and belly, nothing can work like a greater magic than cardio. So go ahead , buy a pair of running shoes, and run

8. Pepper Spray - Your Hand Bag Must-Have

Always, always keep a pepper spray in your hand bag. I was gifted one last year by my roommates, and I admit I have been careless to keep it in my bag most times. But realized I need to start keeping it with me at all times.You get it in major beauty and wellness stores for Rs.499/-. You really might not use it at all, but do you really want to take chances? 

9. Have a Hobby

I don't believe when people say they don't have a hobby. I mean, anything can be a hobby.  Find one. Follow it. Like there was a time when I was making crochet caps as a hobby. I was very young then. Its not at all difficult to find a hobby. Could be anything from collecting recipes, blogging, taking pictures, posing in pictures, finding an art to learn, a new language, decorating your house, trying out new hairstyles. Anything. Its good to disconnect once in a while. I wish to learn atleast one language of the South. Maybe Telugu. I am really struggling to understand meanings of songs during my Bharatanatyam class and knowing a few South Indian languages might help. (Only problem being that my linguistic skills are horrible, zero knack for languages)

10. Eat your Breakfast - Every Single Day 

I can't get enough of how important it is to eat breakfast everyday. I have had days where due to an early morning class I have not got time to eat anything and then after rushing to the class, my legs have shivered throughout. What is the point then of rushing to finish tasks if you are not eating well? After all any activity you want to do requires nutrition, be it mental or physical. Trust me, by experience I'm telling you, the body goes for a toss without breakfast. And that starved feeling is the most irritating feeling you can experience. So go ahead, eat to your heart's fullest.

Dreams in line

I feel its been so long since I penned down what I want in life. All those crazy dreams that I've always wanted to fulfill. I have this theory that if you write/ type down all the things you want in life then you can actually focus on making them true. I admit I was in this phase where I really got very detached with any kind of social networking. I had been in this zone where if I would write anything about myself I would feel conceited or narcissistic. But then I thought who cares, I just want to share. Not brag.

So here I am. Wanting to be completely honest to myself. And to you.

So its been a year since I have been totally into dancing. I left my hefty paying corporate job (or atleast what would have paid me hefty amounts had I been stuck long enough) and decided to dance. It was totally a decision from my heart. Nothing planned. Nothing thought over. The pressure of having done engineering from a reasonably prestigious college and giving it all up did not hit me even once. I don't know what is right and what is wrong. It just felt right to dance at that time. I don't know whether I'll still continue to earn through dance my entire life. But I wish I could. Knowing that earning through art is quite like a gamble. If you are good, you earn so much more than you would have ever earned being a corporate, otherwise you might just be struggling.  But I know for a fact that I will dance. For the pure joy of it.

My journey in the past one year has been such a roller coaster ride. I have done so many random things I could have never imagined myself to do. And I admit it has been a struggle. I still remember when I quit in March, 2011, I took a break for a month because of participating in this TV dance show called Just Dance. After I returned, I started taking classes in a gated community and took a job of a part time tutor in a school. My work hours were essentially about five hours per week. And I was getting exactly 12,000/- per month for two months. That has been my peak in struggling. I had although decided I won't borrow money from parents just because I wanted to feel the struggle and make it on my own. My rent, electricity, transport and dance tuition fees costed me about 7k. I managed two whole months in 5k per month. Trust me, its not at all easy. And once I had gone past those two months and grew more in terms of earnings, I could not have been more proud of myself. Its the struggle that I remember most, even now. I have had corporates come and ask me how much I earn now, trying to compare the ROI as compared to the corporate job that I had.  I refuse to answer such unethical questions because if you can see me alive and healthy, I think that should answer everybody's question.

Coming back to dancing, I don't know how good or bad I am yet. I honestly never evaluate myself. Truly because I like to live in the zone where I feel I am still not good enough. The feeling that I have a long, long way to go really pushes me to keep dancing. Like in my dance class, I have absolutely no inhibitions to revise with the little kids who are practicing the basics and repeating it over and over again. My motto is that if I am in a class, let me get all types of knowledge that I can from it.


Anyway, at least knowing that I am better than what I was a year back is the greatest motivation right now.
I have many dreams actually. Things I have always imagined to fulfill.

a) I want to start my own dance troupe and perform. A lot. I don't know whether I'll form a troupe in Bangalore or after going to the US, but someday I will. And I plan to make it a very folk-contemporary theme. I want to use up all the experiences I have had as a folk dancer and blend it to make folksy pieces. I have always believed that folk can make a dance really vibrant and colorful and I love color.

b) I want to own a studio. Running around for space and to take classes has been so much madness that I know for sure that I'll want to own a studio sometime in life just so that I can have my own space. I think its worth the risk of investing.

c) This one is one of my crazy teenager's dream wish. I have always wanted to make a dance video and perform in it. You know the Ganesh Hedge style. Just hoping to do it someday. I don't mind pitching in money to get musicians and the set ready. I just want to do it for myself. For the thrill of it. It might even become a disaster and become a "Friday" type video. But... Naah, I don't think it will be that big a disaster.

d) I want to get really really flexible. I have been a avid follower of yoga since I was in the 8th standard. I remember my mom would always watch me do yoga. Apparently when I was two years old, I started climbing on a Jhula and was doing weird stunts. And thats when my mom predicted that I would become the Nadia Comaneci, the gymnast who got a perfect 10 in the 1976 Olympics. Sadly, that didn't really happen, but my love for flexibility always continued. So yeah, I still practice yoga and stretch. But wish to take that to the next level.

e) I want to finish my Arangetram. I think wanting to do my Arangetram would have always been there in all of my dream lists in the past five years of blogging. I can't really tell how good or bad I am at Bharatanatyam,  but I'm working towards it is all I can say.

f) I want to expand idea and make it into an annual event for performers and all. Long way to go, but who says one can't dream.

Some of my crazier, but less urgent dreams (call them fantasy) are

g) Get a tattoo. This is also one of my to do lists for a long long time . I somehow cannot get the most perfect thing to be tattooed on me. I decided though that whatever I get, I'll get it done on the nape of my neck.

h) Get a bikini bod. I really want to do this before I get old. I want to go to a bikini permitted beach, wear a bikini and just walk. It just has to do with being liberated. I want to grow old thinking I walked on a beach with the perfect bikini bod when I was young. :P


Its a crazy feeling right now, but typing all this madness out is making me feel super awesome.

Oh I forgot to add, another of my dreams/wishes is to make my husband dance during our wedding. Yeah, more about that later.

Yeah, this feeling is super!!! Just to write down random things and feel awesome about it. :)

Unconditional Love

Nothing in this world can make me feel better as quickly as looking at a picture of her. Polly this is, Polly Kumar, a member of the Kumar Family. People in my family believe she has taken the Kumar Gene and has similar traits like all of us. Its been about four months since I have seen her. And I feel like going and playing with her right now.

You know she has been with me since my 7th Standard. Which is 1999. And I remember all the times where I used to feel low, or just cry because of some reason, and whenever I did, she would just come and rest her head on my lap, just as a gesture to show her empathy. Trust me, there cannot be anyone who can give unconditional love as much as she would. I talk to people in my house and when I ask about her, my mom always seems to tell me she is becoming more and more human each day. I know its true because I have seen her behave like a perfect lady even when I'm there back at home. She has the perfect nails and she would always cross her front paws and sit and bask in the balcony during winters.

The biggest thing I miss being in Bangalore is playing with her. Just being there with her is so much comfort. For some reason because I never yelled at her or was never strict with her, she would always be least scared of me. Like when I would have lunch, she would try to trouble me to feed her whatever I was eating. I remember the uncountable number of days when I would be upset and cry and talk to her. I always got the feeling she understands what I said. Its weird, but I really think she understood what I said. She always slept on the same bed as us, and would always whine early in the morning when she wanted to go do her job. She absolutely loved taking walks outside.So I would get up and somehow in my sleep take her for a walk. It was quite a task finding her leash because she would be tapping her paws out of excitement to go out of the house and urgency to get out and do her job.

So many little things about the cutest thing ever made. I wish Bangalore was an hour drive away from Gandhinagar. Where it would be the easiest thing to just be with her all the time.

The Advantages of Being a Freelancer

Being a freelancer comes with a lot of good and bad. The biggest advantage though is the freedom to take a vacation / break whenever you want to.

No offence to anyone working in a full time job, but when I was working full time, I always used to feel guilty of going and asking my manager for a leave if I wanted to go home, or take a weekend trip, or just take a break and sit at home for a day. Maybe I was not the smartest employee, and was always scared of asking for a leave or something. I was never just good at it. Of course, I took leaves almost whenever I needed it, but I had to think a lot before doing that. Plagued by guilt and fear that the other person would judge me as being a slacker, I would weigh the importance of the event and then decide if I should bunk work or not. Here the work schedule is slightly different.

No, you cannot bunk just like that even here. Because if you are a freelancer, you bunk one day, and you lose three students. But what you can do is plan your classes in a way where you can give off a holiday for a few days where you don't want to work. I usually take summer and winter vacations as a good opportunity to take a break. It actually does not even make too much sense taking classes because the class strength during this time would be half of what it normally is.

The only thing you have to plan in this whole holiday thing is where your money will come from. And if you can do that in advance, and also save up while the sun shines, you can pamper yourself to an amazing one week vacation... Guilt Free!!!

Summers are here

Loads of things to do. I got my car finally. Its a Nano CX and I'm very thankful to dad for gifting it to me :P

Anyway the Bangalore heat has gotten into my head and has begun to make my hormones so crazy that I'm feeling utterly cranky for the past few days. Also, you know how it is when sometimes everyone that you are close with are busy partying all week long and you don't get to see them at all, and when they finally meet you they are so exhausted because of all the partying and you end up getting annoyed at them? Ah I'm sure that has never happened to you. Well, it has to me. And then I realized that me getting angry is not that person's problem , its my problem. And I was probably annoyed because I had nothing better to do. Or rather, I had something better to do but I chose to while away all the time in brooding and wasted it.

So from now, as Barney says it, whenever I'm sad , I'll stop being sad and start being awesome instead.

So instead of getting upset over such little things, let me just divert my attention to doing fun things.

The list of things I want to do this summer:

a) Visit Nrityagram.

b) Start swimming (buy costume and accessories for that)

c) Blog more often.

d) Make more dance videos.

e) Attend dance shows in Bangalore.

Also, I found out the best therapy for women when they are upset or cranky. Just put on a pair of jeans and run to the nearest mall where you can do some window shopping. Also, to ensure you don't end up splurging just take some loose cash and keep your debit/credit card at home. So that you don't end up feeling guilty of the excessive spending.

Also, keep a bowl of cut watermelon or musk melon in your fridge every single day and also keep a bottle of water in the freezer for half an hour before drinking it.

Looks like this is going to be a crazy summer.

Happy Summers everyone!!!

God, not the Snooze again!!!

Remember a few days back I told you how New Year resolutions should start from January 2nd? Well, I take that back. Its been ten days and all I have done is slept. Seriously!!!

I'm otherwise not big on sleeping as such, and I'm truly surprised. I even started thinking I was sick or something. Looks like I'm not. I would pretty much blame the weather then. Bangalore is known for its brilliant weather all throughout the year. The hidden con of this is that it'll make you sleep all day long.

Especially for a person like me, who needs to be up by 6 to reach my dance class at Malleswaram from Marathalli, its always a risk because frequency of Volvo buses is every fifteen minutes and if I miss one, I would already be fifteen minutes late to class.

Speaking of buses, I feel its high time I learn Kannada. Not the language as such, but just some swear words to use at the super annoying bus conductors who would never return change. I always get away with getting a monthly pass but because of the laziness this month, I missed my chance of getting it on time.

One good thing Im doing is going to the Storm Festival happening at Coorg on the 20th and 21st of Jan,2012. Its going to be a car ride till there and OT is going to be the one driving. The storm festival is a two day camping/musical trip where a lot of bands from all across the country will come and perform. There will be tents on a sharing basis for the overnight stay.

The early bird prices were Rs.2700/- for two days including the cost for the tents (An extra refundable Rs.700 will be charged for the tents which will be returned at the end of the camp)

For more details check out http://stormfestivalindia.com/

The Cricket Moment

First of all, wishing everyone reading this a very happy 2012. Second of all, New Year for me starts on the 2nd of January, not the 1st. The entire 1st of Jan goes as a post recovery for crazy 31st. Very few people are lucky enough to chill out to such a great extent on the 31st that they are ready to be all charged up on 1st itself. I was one of the other set. We partied like crazy half the night, and the whole day just went in sleeping. I still feel sleepy as I write this post.

When all of us finished our party and got back home, we were all busy chit chatting till 4. I told my friends about 'The Cricket Moment' then. It was actually an invention by my mom. She believes that sounds explain the intensity of a situation faster and much better than describing it in words. Her talking is generally very animated.

Anyway, so 'The Cricket Moment' is the awkward silence during the middle of any conversation where the atmosphere suddenly becomes so silent, its almost like you can hear the crickets making sounds in the forests. (Crickets the insect I mean).

For Example:

You are shopping this New year. You bumped into a friend (Say Mr. Jojo Junior) who just got divorced recently .

Jojo Junior : Hey dude long time no see. How are you?

You : Hey, what a pleasant surprise . Where are you working these days?

Jojo Junior : I'm at Pune dude. You tell me what's new in your life.

You : (You really don't have any updates about work but still need to continue the conversation. Now you met him after a long time so forgot about his divorce) Nothing much dude. Just work going on. Mundane. How's everything else? How's your wife doing?

Jojo Junior : Oh about that, yeah, I got divorced two months back. We are now fighting for the custody of our son.

You : Oh dude, I'm sorry to hear that. (Super Awkward Silence out of embarrassment and not knowing what to say a.k.a 'The Cricket Moment')

So the next time you go through an embarrassing moment, take a moment of silence. I swear one can actually hear crickets making their regular sounds (Also because to make the situation even more awkward, I ACTUALLY make the cricket sounds from my mouth)

Cheers to all the awkward moments of 2012... 'The Cricket Moments'.

Also don't forget to check out

Inspired by Abhilasha, I decided to make an account on blogadda.com. She has been awarded as an upcoming newbie by blogadda.com. Do check out her blog.

Under Commit and Over Deliver

These two are going to be my motto for the year 2012.

1.Under Commit and Over Deliver.

This is something I really really want to work on. The infinite number of times that this has happened, I can't begin to explain.

I have the tendency to over commit everywhere. Be it work or friends, I end up over committing to such a huge extent and then I can't live up to it. At the end my friends are not happy, and because its work, I somehow manage to struggle and make it work. This leads to an imbalanced life. And why? All because I set unrealistic expectations for myself in the beginning of any project. So 2012, this is one aspect I need to try and work on.

2.No Harm Trying.

I was just discussing with Zubair the other day that there are so many things in life that we don't try even though the thought might have passed through our minds. Why? The dominating reason is generally that we give up. And we give up mostly because we feel we won't get anywhere with it. The feeling that we are not good enough always comes in the way of taking initiative. Like my friends who need to change their job but are scared of not being able to get any job. Like me, who wants to go for contemporary dance classes but am scared because I feel I might mess up my Bharatanatyam. The fact that I did not try it yet itself means that I am having pre conceived notions. The fact that I still did not get a nose piercing or a belly button piercing because I was too scared that it might not work out right. Some things are very little and random but we always stop ourselves from doing so. Riding emotion : Fear. So another motto for the year 2012 is going to be to just give things a try without thinking too much. If it feels right, it is right.

This month of December

You know this weird moment when you meet a friend after many years and all of a sudden you are in a loss of words? That happens with me whenever I take a sabbatical from blogging for a while. Even though I have so many things in my head all the time, when it comes to blogging after a long time, everything in the head seems in a mess. But let me go ahead and write anyway.

December is a very cozy month. I think its the worst month to work. I fortunately planned my work and took off a nice twelve day holiday and came to Ahmedabad. I think offices should just give a big, nice December vacation. The weather is always chilly, makes you want to wear socks in the house, sit on your bean bag and just drink a nice cup of Chai. And it feels even more awesome when your roommate comes with your blanket and puts in on you when you have fallen asleep on the bean bag.

December is all about reds and greens and whites and festivity.

December is all about Christmas and New Year Eve parties and planning for the New Year Eve Parties.

December is about looking pretty almost all the time. (I am a very winter fashion person. You ask me to wear one sundress and I'll be a mess. But if you ask me to dress up for winter, I use a lot of layers and create something nice)

December is about pretty scarves. Loads of them.

December is about boots. God, those boots I would die for.

December is about a lot of love. I have come to believe that November and December are the two best months for love. Just the whole winter feeling is very romantic.

December is about Plum Cakes and Wine.

December is about paper snowflakes stuck at every restaurant.

December is about the New Year Eve party. The happy dancing. The midnight kiss.

December is about being cozy and lazy and sleepy.

December is about sleeping at a very odd time during late afternoon and getting up when its dark. Even though its just some sevenish.

Who wants to work in the month of December now?

P. S : I was planning my New Year Eve dress. Looks something like this.

Have a great New Year Eve party Everyone!!!

Whats the deal with the word "Opportunist"?

So I have been called an opportunist a few times in the past. To be honest, I have never taken it as a negative thing.

The weirdest thing is where it develops from. So I agree I am extremely bad at keeping in touch. And that is something I'm wanting to change. But somehow, people link that to me using opportunity (which I have never figured out how).

The reason why I got this thing in my head is because I just saw some Facebook article where people are calling Steve Jobs an "opportunist". I mean, Common people, spare at least someone in this world that tag and respect them for what they have done. Its all about capitalism people. There is no harm if he creates brilliant designs and sells it to the market for such a high price. People are free not to buy Apple if they don't like. But they do. Because the design is the key. And people pay a price for that. For those who don't like Apple, that's fine because no one is forcing them to buy an Apple anyway.

To be honest, its fine what they think. I mean, everyone in this world has the freedom to have an opinion. I got affected by it once and thought I'll change myself . But then I didn't know what exactly is it that I should change about myself?

I introspected and realized that I am going to be the same. People say I can do anything to "climb the ladder of success", which cracks me up sometimes because the only really successful thing I have done in my life is the day I decided to give my passion a chance. And yes, my family and friends in Bangalore had a big role to play in encouraging me for it. Had it not been for OT, I wouldn't have gone ahead with this. If you call this taking advantage of an opportunity, then Hell yeah.. I would always do that.

So its very important for me to exercise everyday, eat healthily, sleep on time , get up early. Now people think of that as being selfish. Of course I am. And I will always continue to be, because its really important to me. I know the people who respect me for keeping that. I know OT respects the fact. And those are the people who really matter.

Yes, so that's me. Its very important for me to spend time with OT, to exercise, to eat well, not to skip my dance classes, prefer sleep over night outs. Call me selfish, but its about my priorities.

In the end, there is a point where you realize you might try to make everyone happy, but people will still not be happy . So might as well make your priorities happy.

Happy Birthday OT!!!

You know what I have in mind, you know what I'll say, so I wont...

(Now please look at this post, raise an eyebrow and say "Such is Life" and pose :P:P)

Happy Birthday!!!:)

The Dance of Anger

Changes.

I'm getting a car. Thought of a two wheeler but no one in my house seems to be agreeable for it.

I have grown really thin suddenly. I'm trying to gain weight now.

I am reading this awesome book called The Dance of Anger and it talks about why women are angry and moody at most times. The primary reason for it is the fact that we are overfunctioners. We do so much for others that we have nothing left for ourselves. And then we get all angry. Because we don't get it back at the same rate as we give it. (especially men) . Now that again is not men's fault to be honest. The reason they underfunction is because you overfunction. And the reason you overfunction is because the man underfunctions. Its not important who started the dis balance in the first place. Whats important is how to prevent it.

The best way to prevent this life's drama is to stop overfunctioning for just a little bit. I know as women we generally have the tendency to make others happy, especially our men, go out of the way , sacrifice all our personal priorities and keep them as the most pampered people in the world. We might just so think that our sacrifice is taken with gratitude, but in reality the other person underfuctions. Its almost like you are doing the work for both. So stop complaining about your man being a jerk, start changing yourselves. You'll see the change in him as well.

The key in dealing with men is to stop trying too hard. Infact don't just try. Learn to function much much less than you normally would. And that will be the real key to a happy relationship.

So for all the women out there,

Dont try too hard and you'll be happy!!!

Day 4, Day 5 and Day 6

So my day 4, 5 and 6 have been very random actually. First of all, my Bharatanatyam class started with a bang . I have been cooking a lot of healthy stuff these days.

For example :

Ragi Rotis

Mix Fruit Smoothie

Different types of lentils such as Chole, Lobia and Chana.

I have a project with this company for the choreography of one song. Thats what I have been working on for the past two days. This time I want the choreography to be such that not everyone would be doing the same step at a time. There should be less uniformity.

Winter has started. I can feel it in the smell of the air . This is different from the cold that Bangalore usually experiences.

Oh ya, do try out ginger tea. Basically add a huge chunk of ginger after crushing it. It really really opens up your senses. Even if you have not slept for five days, you just can't sleep.

Further plans of group fitness with OT. Lets target swimming or jogging together. The whole idea makes me happy. Makes me feel like one of those living-in-the-country-side and doing these fun things together. Who says we can't have our bicycle-riding fun in the city?

This city is totally awesome. If I have the choice then I would like to grow old here. And have a dog here. Actually two dogs. And then keep their baby dogs too.

Yeah I talk like a grown up. I feel like a grown up.

Actually no..... I still am the bicycle-riding person. :)

I tried downloading the 7th season of How I Met your Mother. I got some random episodes in some random language. Anyway, looks like I'll wait for a few days till more episodes are aired.

Last thing, do try out the headstand. Its super awesome. It just reduces your belly fat at the snap of your finger.

Also try out the dolphin plank pose . I swear I did it for a few d

ays and I might be hallucinating but I can see those muscles on my abs. :)

Day 2 and Day 3

So my later part of day 1 was completely crazy, because the whole day went in getting the garba dress and finally going for garba. I danced for about three hours continuously. I felt like steam was coming out of my face.

I finally came back and slept at 3.30am after dancing like a mad woman.

I got up at some 9am and lazed around for a while.

Did small productive things like adding beneficiaries to my NetBanking, deciding a layout for my visiting card, and making a poster for another workshop. And went for an afternoon siesta at 4pm and got up only at 9pm just to realise that it was time to eat and sleep.

That was all about Day 2.

Day 3, that is today , the 3rd of october, 2011, was quite a blast in its own way. Now my morning getting up schedule went to dogs because I was still trying to recover from the post garba sleep. I had my regular dose of Naariyal Paani , made food, went for a Salsa tryout with this dancer I met during my Garba workshop, met OT , came back and ate food again.

Oh by the way, I forgot to add, I tried a lot of stretches, hand stands, perfecting cartwheel etc along with the Salsa practice during the try out. It was fun.

Tomorrow is a good day because my Dance teacher is back from Singapore after a month. I can't wait to finally see her. :)

Time to sleep early, so that I make it to the class at any cost. :)

Goodnight readers!!!

Day 1 looks good

Yes!!!

I made it.

I succeeded in getting up at 6.00am today.

As I told you earlier , my plans of getting up, exercising went all smoothly.

I had an elaborate breakfast of one boiled egg, a bowl of oatmeal with milk, two slices of toast with Nutrilite butter, and two guavas.

I also somehow ended up getting the time to wash all my clothes, drying them and folding the ones that dried.

So all these things happened till some 11.00am. I got ready after that and went to the rent shop to get my garba ghaghra on rent. I got that, had sumptuous Bengali meal of rotis and fish and got back. I'm almost set to get ready for the evening.

So yeah, this is Day 1. More updates tomorrow.

October Dawns

New month tomorrow. Time to accelerate progress.

Better health.

Better work culture.

Better routine.

Better organisational skills.

Time to get up early and starting the day with yoga. That means getting out of the bed by 6.00am. Very much possible.

Breakfast by 8.30am. Special breakfast recipes include my regular oats and milk, vermicelli upma with soya nuggets and a new recipe by my cook, The "Soaked Fried Chana " (SFC)

So Chana (Chickpea) is a very nutritious lentil which can be eaten just like that after soaking them overnight. It tastes somewhat like peanuts. For those who don't enjoy that taste too much, they can heat oil in a wok, and fry the chickpeas and add salt and pepper.

Drinking a lot of water throughout the day. My regular dose of one "Naariyal Paani" from my coconut vendor friend outside my house. (Ya, I'm good friends with them now, we chat about how they run their business and other stuff)

Plus, I'm going to dance this Navaratri in Palace grounds. I'm all excited. I'm even getting a ghaghra choli on rent because I did not carry a ghaghra choli to Bangalore.

The most important point being NOT to plan the whole day in your diary. The only routine that stays is morning yoga and breakfast.

Happy October everyone!!!

Before After

I had such a roller coaster day yesterday. You know those days where in the beginning everything wrong that could happen ended up happening. And the second half of the day suddenly came with a beacon of hope.

So the first half of the day starts like this.

There was this school were I was a part timer. I wasn't really enjoying the work so had been thinking of quitting it on and off. I even had a talk with the principal of that school regarding this. Yesterday afternoon they told me that they were looking to keep a full time dance teacher who can take regular classes and still need me for bigger projects. I didn't know whether to be happy or sad. Happy because I was finally out of stress but upset because one source of income reduced.

What followed was that I was supposed to go for my corporate show rehearsal and before that I was to transfer money to OT's account. Now I had two cheques both of different banks. To cut a long story short, basically I was running around for three hours to get the money transferred and finally couldn't even do that.

I come back all famished, only to realize I had forgotten to take my keys. Worse, my phone got switched off because of low battery. I had no option but to walk up to the company where my roommates work, hope to see some known faces and ask them to call any of my roommates. This process was also an elaborate one hour process which finally got over. Immediately after I came back I had to go to the place where my garba workshop was supposed to be conducted. I went there and took my roommate along. I told her we'll be done in some half an hour but it took a whopping 3 hours from 7pm to 10pm. But those were one of the best three hours. Anyway, it turned out to be quite an enlightening one. I met this guy who was a dancer who told me a lot about business strategies and tactics.

I was actually so dazed that I wanted to write all those points down.

Anyway, the day ended with blissful dinner with OT and Madhavi in my house, candle light and yellow lights across the balcony on the 9th floor , scenic view from the balcony.

And suddenly, everything in the world seems fine.

Why do we have bouts of negativity?

I thought of getting this negativity out of me. Like a disgusting virus that I would treat with yoga. Or an infection out of the body with medicines. I'm letting this be my medicine.

So I have been very very negative with everything around me for the past couple of days. I haven't yet been able to figure out what it is, but its eating me up. I thought I should blog about it, because as much as I don't gather strength to write down when I'm low, it is the truth that only blogging really helps me vent out all that is there inside.

So I have been very insecure lately. With everything around me. With OT. And sometimes I just feel its immaturity. In fact I ALWAYS feel it after I am done feeling that negative emotion. Has it ever happened to you that you feel so insecure about everyone around you? This ugly feeling that your friends have more important friends than you? And then to avoid that you try and cling on to them more, and that puts them off all the more. And then you get more annoyed and cling on even more.

And the cycle goes on.

The only way to break this cycle?

To get rid of your own shortcomings.

I mean forget ego, forget being right all the time. Whats more important right now is not to be important, but to understand that its OK to be wrong , as long as at the end of it you thank yourself for being wrong and correcting it.

Sometimes even when work goes on very well, and to avoid facing the problems that we are facing, we tend to hide in excess of work, making ourselves believe that working like mad will actually divert attention.

Sorry to burst the bubble, but it doesn't. It just waits for it to ferment inside, till it becomes so stale but you cannot get it out because its become a part of your skin.

That is exactly what I have been doing till now. Any problem, any shortcoming, anything that bothers me... I sink myself in work.

End result : Work has gone well. I haven't.

So I take a pledge this time. Next time I have a problem, I solve it then and there and then move on in life. And blog about it if I have the time, space and required tools.

How many of you are with me in taking this pledge? I hope to create an anonymous page where we can rant away all out problems, we can share with each other how to solve it , but never have to know who it really was.

After all, there is a huge part of all of us that does not like telling others if we have a problem. All of us are born in a way where we'll show we are happier than what we really are. I think its good in a way, its like Fake smiling.

When you are upset and still have to smile, you start feeling genuinely happy after sometime.

But lets get to the root of it this time. Lets make ourselves feel better . Lets be honest and get all the negativity out. Trust me, its Ok to be sad about something. We are human after all right. Just like we feel happy, we do feel sad,upset, insecure, negative, suspicious, impatient, intolerant.

I am saying all this because this is what I am (or was) experiencing .

And every time, blogging substantiates my belief of being therapeutic in nature.

So lets take a pledge together today, shall we?

Wonders what A.R.Rahman must be thinking

You know I always ask people around... What will be going through A.R. Rahman's mind when he would listen to his own music piece. Would he be thinking "Wow, can anyone believe I'm such a prodigy" , or "How can I be so awesome?".

Have you ever thought of anything like this whenever you have done any work?

I haven't.

Anyway, I got a huge collection of all A.R.Rahman songs from a friend's external hard disk the other day. Not to forget the collection of How I Met Your Mother too, which has got me all fat and old because all I do is watch it all the time.

Its weird because in college I had decided not to watch any more TV series after F.R.I.E.N.D.S because a)I spent my entire one month vacation only doing that. And when I say ONLY. Imagine ONLY. I brushed and bathed in the evening. Slept for five hours, got up and started watching friends. It was a crazy addiction. But this seems to have started again.

Have you realised sometimes that when we try to make a point with valid arguments, we say "A)" and we don't either have a "B)" or end up putting some lame point. Zubair made me realize this once. And that is what just happened above.

My next book is going to be Shantaram. I have heard so much about it that I just have to grab the next copy. Wrapping up with my Luanne Rice's Summer Light.

I'm going to be a part of a Kannada movie dance sequence. I'll be travelling this week. Lets see how this goes.

And ya, if any dance readers out there, this is for you all. Rama Vaidhyanathan, the versatile Bharatanatyam dancer is coming to Bangalore on September 16th. I had seen her performance once before and I had blogged about it. http://priyakumarnitb.blogspot.com/2010/04/can-i-live-life-of-danseuse.html

Its so weird. Exactly a year ago, I was thinking about whether I can live the life of a danseuse. And exactly a year later, here I am living it. :)

Check out her schedule on facebook.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/RAMA-VAIDYANATHAN/54554134237

And ya, please don't forget to check out my site www.piah.in :)

How one gets used to cooking their own food

Its been almost a year since I started living in this apartment of mine, along with five other roommates. And its been around five months since I started cooking my own food. And believe it or not, I really feel I can cook . I still have not tried making delicacies, mostly because I end up cooking a simple meal after coming back home tired. But my sense of proportion has very much improved.

Except for sugar and salt. These are two things I still flounder. I mostly blame it to my taste buds because I am used to eating less sugar and salt. So even the tiniest pinch of salt makes me feel like its enough, while the others around me always seem to find the salt less.

Anyway I'm back to my green tea drinking habit.

And I'm loving it. :)

Time to get into the fitness mode

There was a time where I was a freak for fitness. I need to get into that mode again. But this time its not ambition to get the perfect figure, but to eat perfectly and sleep right.

Its high time I start taking care of myself. So many things have been happening that I have not got time for myself lately.

Many things right from drinking more water, to eating more fruits and vegetables , to sleeping more, to exercising more. All of it.

Ill try and blog daily about it to keep a check on how much I took care of myself.

July is the fastest month

Did you know I used to come online on my blog almost everyday to read the blogs that I follow, but didn't just realized how fast July flew. It was just a few days back that I thought I wrote the last post. But anyway. Lets focus on what all happened this month.

First of all, I had a complete blast of a birthday this 7th. It was a surprise from a lo

t of people I had never expected. I know birthdays make one happy and all, but this one made me even happier than that, if you know what I mean.

My birthday though ended in OT leaving for the U.S. Temporary parting blues remained for a few days but I consoled myself saying that its just for a month anyway.

Its raining cats and dogs here right now. In Bangalore, when you say "cats and dogs" you actually mean " daily evening chores of sprinkling water in the city". Its weird. So weird. Good weird though. That every time you sweat a little because of the weather, it just rains. So perfect. I did not know something like that existed . I thought weather was just meant to be like a strict teacher and teach you the meaning of tolerance.

This month was crazy. I ended up choreographing two stage events, one for Bosch and one for the school where I teach as a part timer.

They were both brilliant events. I even put up the videos and photos

on

http://www.facebook.com/piahdancestudio

Oh ya, I bought a lot of gifts for Polly for her birthday that was on Jul 11th, but have still not posted it. Bad me. (Lets hope writing it down makes me courier it faster)

One thing that has not been going on well is my food habits. Because of over work. I have thinned down a lot and not in a good way. Also, I have become very

irregular in my Bharatanatyam classes. I am feeling very guilty about that and trying to make up for it by going whenever I can.Hopefully , because both these events are done, I can go more regularly .

On the last note, here are a few photos Zubair and I took from my balcony

. Thi

s is the view from my house. Didn't know how amazing it was until just now. :) Happy reading. (Zubair. Again, why are we fighting? :S:S)

P.S : Green tea still makes me happy.

Time to pen down thoughts

Its been many many days since I blogged last.Blogging is like smoking, you are never interested till you start smoking, and once you start it is difficult to stop. I think I had my share of not wanting to blog because I stopped blogging for a few days.

I dont know whether its just with me, but life tends to run so much faster when you don't pen down your journey. (or blog, in my case). I dont know how fast this month flew.

Loads of events happened by the way.

a)I got much better at cooking. I can cook good curry, sambar and other things.

b)I got part time jobs at two places in Bangalore. So getting stronger financially.

c) I met a contemporary dancer in my dance class who has been learning for the past seven years. She asked me to come to her troupe rehearsals for corporate shows. Couldn't be happier getting an opportunity like this.

d)My dance class is going on in full force.

e)I started reading the Mahabharatha and I can't get enough of it. So, I need to improve my knowledge of mythology to a great extent to be able to give dance exams.

f) Piah dance studio is going really well in the clubhouse. I have some fifteen students now. They all listen to me and really enjoy dancing. Unfortunately though, I slacked off in terms of expanding Piah Dance studio to other places. Also, my logo, receipt book and site are still pending which makes me really really guilty.

While my fingers were moving on the keyboard writing all this, I just realised how much I missed blogging. It makes me want to live up to the routine. But I need to take one step at a time.

Its been one whole month

I last blogged on May 6th. Its been one whole month. And honestly, I don't know how this month passed by. Everything happened really quickly. And not too much progress on my work. I was perfectly absorbed in doing my regular work. Wasn't able to create any little magic in this month. Plus, I was hoping to start blogging again. And here I am. Once again.

I don't feel like giving this one a title

There are so many things in my mind right now. I am feeling utterly cluttered in the head. Today was such a mix of good and bad things that I don't know what to write. Its like a thousand voices inside at the same time that I feel like closing my ears and asking it all to stop. I had a good start today. I helped my roommate exercise today first thing in the morning. Made some good breakfast and sat to work. I just happened to realize then how much I have slacked off this week.

My visiting card is not done yet.

I need to get a dance photoshoot done asap.

I have to get my website www.piah.in functioning.

I need to make a poster regarding a dance aerobics class for ladies.

Anyway, my day started pretty well, and I took a dance session for the kids in the afternoon, something that totally got my mind off all the things. They invited me to play basketball with them after the class got over. I taught them how to take a lay up shots. We did that for sometime and then they taught me to play throw ball. Did you know I have never played throw ball in my entire life?

I had a good time with the kids. I really enjoy being with them .An

d you can always be sure that they'll say whatever is there in their mind. And will NEVER judge anybody.

I had a momentary lapse afterwards when I heard that an IIT-Madras student committed suicide because his project was withheld for six months. I felt more strongly towards it because I have close ones who have gone through the same and I can put it in writing that they were one of the smartest people in college.

The worst part being that students are generally not withheld becaus

e they did not fair well or did not complete their project properly. Many cases where the professor just does not "like" the student or has some personal issues with him/her is taken out during projects. There are students getting 80% above in all subjects but withheld in projects. Something does not fit, because to believe that IIT would set theoretical papers that any not-so-smart person will be able to crack it is not something a prestigious institute like that would do.

Basically, this news brought my mood down a little. But coping up with it by listening to the piano version of songs by Aakash Gandhi on youtube.com. It is like therapy for me nowadays.

This is a picture of me when I was doing yoga some days back in my apartment. I took it on self timer so couldn't set it to full length.

Anyway, my dance academy has a student who is doing her arangetram tomorrow. I'm planning to wear my green and white saree to the event. I also plan to take my diary and make an entire list of everything I see there, full preparations.

Happy 150 posts!

Happy 150 posts to my blog. I started writing on 22nd May, 2008 and I can't believe I was persistent for three entire years. Wow, seems like a really long time now. Anyway, an ode to the posts.

I have ten students now in my dance class, and they are the best therapy for me. Yesterday could not have been gloomier had it not have been for them. Right from the morning, I did not practice well for my Bharatanatyam class, and hence made many mistakes. Previous evening, I had almost got a child to teach an entire dance sequence for a programme, but the family backed out because they realised that the event was meant only for the employees, not their family. After my class, I got back, feeling really exhausted. I came back, made breakfast with semi boiled eggs and milk-oats topped with papayas and mangoes, and started making lunch immediately. As if nothing was bad enough, but the vegetable-mushroom-soya suggets curry I had put to cook got burnt from the bottom. I pretty much gave up and decided that the best thing to do in such a case is to sleep off. I slept for an hour, got up only to realize that it was an hour left for my workshop and I needed to have a bath. But as we are still on the things-not-going-according-to-the-plan scheme, there was no water in my apartment. I just washed my face and ran to the class. And from this point onwards, everything written above does not seem like anything bad at all. Infact right now, when I'm writing those things, I'm wondering whether its even required or should I erase those things. Anyway, I waited for the kids to come.

The kids came in by 4.00pm . the greates thing about kids is that when you ask them not to be late, and come by 3.55pm, they are always so excited that they'll come SHARP at 3.55pm. And the way they smile at you, it seriously gave me another perspective in life.

The perspective that there are so many bigger, better things in this world that we can get happiness out of. And those bigger things come from little gestures. Like a child feeling so happy dancing, and getting confused whether to call you Didi or Aunty. I let them call me anything. Some of them even call me Mam. I'm fine with anything actually.

I got back after teaching them some steps, got back , had a nice warm water shower, dressed up real nice, and went strolling with OT. One of the greatest therapies when you feel low is to get dressed, wear pretty clothes and feel gorgeous. Once you do that, it really makes you feel better about yourself.

I slipped on my purple sleeveless top, a scarf which is black and white and graphics of pink, and a pair of baggy style black trousers which I completely adore.

I've put samples of what it looks like. (Could not find the exact replica on the internet)

At the end of the day, I was happy. The only thing that was missing was my stomach crunches.

On the ending note, I am becoming much better in doing my full flip .

Organizing the mind and redirecting negative energies

Many things to write.

When I cannot put it in the right order, I write it in the form of list. As long as it gets out of my head and successfully put down on the blog, then my job is done.

- I conducted my first demo class for the summer workshop. Plus finished registrations. The best part about teaching kids is that they'll always, always love you. Plus, I got to meet a few working mothers who were demanding a weekend dance aerobics class to get them to move. Its not exactly dance I know, but it totally belongs to my category of Piah Wellness. I have always had in my mind to also do something in health and wellness apart from dance. Give them health tips, teach them different exercise techniques, explain the importance of exercise and good health , not just to look good, but to live longer younger.

- I ran around the whole day yesterday. From an early morning dance class to registrations of kids to printing the receipts . So after all of that being clubbed together, plus after cooking quite an elaborate lunch, I was pretty tired in the evening. So decided to take the time off and not do anything. I could have slept because I slept only for six hours that previous night. But instead, decided to watch some Friends, clean my room, have a nice warm water shower and drink a warm glass of milk. I drink milk or Horlicks in the night to induce faster and more blissful sleep.

- I was really happy yesterday because I ensured I did all the work on time and then slept off exactly by 9.45pm. I'm sure I would have entered deep sleep mode by 10.00pm. Got up today morning at 6.30am. After checking mails/blogs/facebook, I drank a bottle of water and exercised for an hour. After a long time, I have had time to exercise at my own ease and then cook breakfast at my own ease without knowing that I'll have to hurry anywhere.

A plate of cut fruits, oats and milk topped with papayas and two boiled egg whites with salt and pepper. It couldn't get better.

I know for sure that in moments of frustration or any kind of negativity, if we can transfer all the energy into exercise, nothing can be better. We would never get old that way. So my new resolution is to start doing stomach crunches or push ups whenever I feel anger inside me. Lets see how much I can tone up my arms or waist that way.

Feeling accomplished for the day's routine. Finally.

First things first. I just realized that I use the word "feel" a lot more than "think". I guess it has something to do with my INFJ characteristic taken from the Myers Brigg test. So I have stuck a chart on my wall behind my bed which has a time table where I have written that I'm supposed to sleep by 10.00pm and get up everyday at 6.00am. Dance classes in the morning on Tuesdays and Thursdays and the rest of the days get up and practice my full flip and aramandi.

In terms of health, to eat one spoon of flaxseed daily, drink 10 bottles of water, 2 cups of green tea.

I made that chart and conveniently ran off to Bandipur. All routine to dogs. I did what we call the EXACT opposite of following the routine. But then, I also got back and got to shape.

And when I say shape, I mean started shedding all the extra fat from my thigh accumulated from the overeating at Bandipur.

So today, for the first time in a long long time, I ate dinner by 8.30. Went for my dance class in the morning, practiced aramandi for sometime. For the people who dont know what aramandi is, in Bharatnatyam the half sitting position with your hands on your waist and legs bent so as to form a V is called Aramandi. That is the basic step of Bharatnatyam. Something like Sa Re Ga Ma of Music. But its definitely tougher than that. The pure shivering of your thighs, the bending forward of the upper body , the excruciating pain you feel directly in your thigh muscles, which screams and says you can do no more.

But thats the catch. Once you go past that excruciating pain, the dance is as beautiful as the effort put to get your aramandi right.

So as happy as I am right now in accomplishing the day's routine, I just realized its already 10.45pm and I'm past bedtime. Damn.

Oh last thing, I got wet in the rain today. It felt so amazing looking at everyone hunting for a shelter and I was walking in the rain and listening to music. Plus, luckily I saw this boiled corn guy so took a cup of hot,steaming corn and started walking in the rain again. Long time since I did that. I know it might not seem like a big thing, but it felt so perfectly liberating. Like I broke all the norms and shackles of right and wrong and decided to go the rebel way.

Time to pack up.

Goodnight readers.

Best time to blog

My dinner is getting ready. The rice has got cooked and the dal palak has been put on the wok. I dont know how long will it take to cook. So I have mainly been travelling since the last time I blogged. A few of us went to this place called Bandipur National Park , 5-6 hours from Bangalore. 2 days 1 night. It was an amazing trip. Which also resulted in me sleeping the whole of Monday. Somehow I didn't want to lose track of blogging, so decided to write something.

Also, one thing I discovered today. When you don't practice for five continuous days, and then suddenly go to your dance class.. Forget expecting appreciation for your dance, it will be commendable if you can finish an entire bharatanatyam item at one shot perfectly without panting.

Fingers 'n' Feet

The summer workshop poster is out. Will blog about daily updates later.

Its finally here. The promo video .

My dance workshop got over. And it went really well for my debut. Hardly any profit in the first event, but at least I covered the cost incurred to the conduct the event.

Right from the choreography, the thought behind which dance step to keep which will be easy by a non dancer, and at the same time ensuring every step could be broken down into segments so that it is understandable.

It was my first experience. So I can still see amateur quality in the choreography, the video too.

No regrets at all. Because however be it, I'm going to continue making more videos. And now, my videos will focus on performance rather than events. For the time being at least.

Plus the promo video gave me quite a tough time because it had been long since I had worked on Movie Maker. Nevertheless. I'm proud of it. Here is my first promo video .

Things left to do now are

1)make a visiting card

2)make a website.

But anyway, glad I stayed up and finished this video.

I finally made a start. :)

Do give me suggestions on how to improve the videos and video making style.

Day 8 : It is very easy to sleep when you have work

And easy to blog too. Just like how it happens for all of us during exams, where we are at our creative best, our health best and suddenly we are worried about our skin and health and the things we want to do that we love most. And somehow, we end up forgetting all about it immediately after our exams are over.

Same is the case with me right now. I need to rush outside for promotion and I'm so conveniently learning CSS and editing an image on photoshop to put as my header. After a tough battle with myself, I got myself to get up, leave those things half way done, ate food and started getting ready.

Now, its raining outside. A sudden respite from the terrible heat Bangalore is getting. Not that I should complain much because I have lived in cities like Ahmedabad, Bhopal,Mumbai and Hyderabad where the heat doesn't seem to detach from the cities. Looking at the weather now, I am getting the tendency to slack off again and go to sleep.

But if I do this today, my workshop will be unsuccessful tomorrow. Lets do this today. Lets finish all the jobs and get some good sleep after the workshop.

The fight starts today.

Will I be successful in getting enough people to my workshop?

Day 6 : Never forget hidden costs

One important advice. When you plan something, DO NOT forget overhead costs.

Also, never ASSUME you'll get something at concession.

Rookie Mistake for the first event I am organizing.

My challenges now are

a) Get at least 15 people for the workshop just for break even.

And no, I'm not thinking of charging more or getting profit, because I just want to see whether this concept works.

So, my plans of conducting this event for two days got pretty much ruined. Finance wise things didn't seem to fit. So I had to push the event to one day for 3 hours straight. I don't know how it will go, and lets hope I break even.

Here is my poster for this event.

Fingers crossed. :):):)

Lets hope I can get a breakeven.

Day 1 : What I learnt . Marketing Strategies

Day 1 My pseudo stint as an event manager. Well, not entirely an event "manager", but more like a sponsorship getter, if thats even a word.

I made a list of all the possible questions regarding details of the event, got it clarified, prepared a budget break up and what we can offer to the sponsors, got ready and headed off to one of the busiest streets in town.

Brigade Road, Bangalore.

I went to around 20 showrooms/franchise/ shops which included places from banks, handicraft items, antique piece showrooms, watch showrooms, hotels, photo studio, gold loans, and I did not even spare government registered emporiums.

To my surprise, I got really good response from a lot of people. The bigger brands just ended up giving me their card with their manager's e-mail address asking me to send them my proposal.

But some shops where I went were totally interested and were really friendly. I never got even a single person signalling me to get out or stop disturbing him or anything.

It was like a nice cushion for the fact that I had just collected the material, and without an agenda or a particular shop to go to, my randomness looked quite positive.

Another thing that I understood in this field is : You'll meet different kinds of people, some may be truly business minded and will ask you " Isme hamara faayda bataao", or people who expect smooth talking like "Considering your product will attract art lovers the most" etc. Also, always remember that if you are girl, you'l also have to deal with over-friendly shopkeepers , if you know what I mean. Essentially, don't take anything to heart, and if you get compliments , there is no need to get offended... Just take it :)

Somehow I didn't even mind those over-friendly shopkeepers, they seemed completely harmless.. and in fact they were really nice people.

I got back, with 20 visiting cards, lets see how "The Proposal" goes. But happy to have a good start at least.

Can get some peaceful sleep tonight. Except if I get dance dreams again.

Early morning, time to get up and get going

I got up a little early today. Even in spite of not having my dance class today morning.

So I have a few things to do for my agenda today. Today's main agenda is getting sponsorship for this programme of my dance class . There is an event happening in July for which I need sponsorship worth 2L. Ive done some small level sponsorship in my college where I did not get too much either. Infact I hardly got anything out it. Thats why I thought I venture in for a few days and see how successful I can be at getting sponsorship.

Secondly, I have my regular dance class today evening. Before that, I need to finish my regular stretching, the aim for being able to do a full split . Shockingly, yesterday after I got done with my stretches and cooled down, and when I sat for dinner, I saw a few scars on my knee, the ones you get when someone punches you or you hit some object very hard. Like a blood clot. It was pretty scary and the spookily the first thing I remembered was the movie "Black Swan". And ouch, the scar hurts a little. But as most experienced dancers say, if you can live with the pain like nothing happened and continue dancing, the pain will go. I am not a firm believer of that in many cases. I believe it works when you have an internal ailment, like fever or cold. But if your bones are damaged, let them rest for sometime before messing with it.

Ironically, the same person who is saying this ended up practicing for 6 hours straight before the dance auditions with a damaged ankle and succeeded in reducing the pain. I just dont understand how the human anatomy works.

Anyway, these days I have got totally obsessed with dance. I dont remember a single night after coming back from the auditions where I haven't dreamt of being auditioned . And surprisingly, everytime I seem to be getting selected in every dream. Seriously weird as I thought I got over the whole auditions thing, got back to Bangalore and started planning of what to do next.

By the way, I am planning to conduct my first ever dance workshop in my apartment itself. I plan to schedule it next week. I need to get a flyer ready so that I can stick it all around my Apartment complex. I am still finalising on he dance style and which audience to target.

Fingers crossed.

Aim for the next one month

a) Learn to do a full split

b)Learn to do a cartwheel

c)Post both on youtube and be be proud of yourself :)

Now that was my first reality show stint

I had been vanishing from blogging for the past one month. Not that I was completely busy, but I chose to keep shut about the experiments I had been doing with my life.

Now that the experimenting is over , at least the one I was in, I decided to talk about it.

So here is the entire story of my first reality show stint.

I had gone home for a couple of days after quitting my job, and my mom saw me dancing at home. She asked . "Why don't you take part in some dance competition?" It sounded like a good idea to me, considering I wasn't doing anything apart from enjoying being unemployed anyway. After looking up on the net, we saw this dance competition called Just Dance that was a TV based dance competition going to be hosted and aired on Star Plus. The Bhopal auditions were going to be held on the 4th March, 2011. I was anyway planning on going to Bhopal to attend the Tech Fest of my college. Anyway, I decided to just go and give it a shot. I had zero preparations on me. I hadn't in fact even started attending my dance classes then.

This is the first time I understood how things work in a reality show, how to face the camera, how and what is looked for from you in a reality show.

Day 1 , 4th March ,2011 : I landed at the Venue, State Museum of Bhopal where the auditions were supposed to be taking place. I didn't have my song edited nor the choreography done. I got done with that somehow. After waiting for seven hours in the scorching heat and realizing that no one else had come to the auditions just wearing a pair of jeans and a black top, I surrendered even before entering the auditions and knew I can't get through. But I went and gave the auditions .. And somehow I scraped to the second round called the TV round. This round was essentially a recording of your dance that they would send to Mumbai to be judged and will come back to you if they like your dance.

22nd March, 2011 : Got the call for the next round of selection .

29th March, 2011 : Reached Kolkata. First round here was called the TV round part 2. Got through that. Second round was the Producers round. I had prepared a contemporary dance on "Kahin To" from the movie Jaane Tu ya Jaane Na. The producers told me my strengths lies in Semi Classical and that I should not attempt dancing on Contemporary if I haven't been trained in it. I clear the producers round somehow. They tell me to dance on a semi classical number. I go roaming in Kolkata at 10 in the night hunting for a semi classical/bharatanatayam dress. Found something somehow, got back and slept off with my makeup on. Did not even choreograph for the song.

30th March, 2011 : I get up at 6 in the morning with a start realizing that I haven't decided the song yet. I make my decision to repeat some song Ive done before and square in on "Iktara" from the movie Wake up Sid. I just put a few Bharatanatayam steps in between so that it starts looking like a semi classical number. I get ready, edit the song and reach the venue at 8. My aim was to choreograph the song in the mind while I was waiting for the judges to arrive. The judges by the way were Farah Khan and Vaibhavi Merchant. And ya, this show is called Just Dance, if I forgot to mention it earlier. Anyway, I choreographed something while everyone was waiting in the line . These people were the 80 finalists selected from the east region which included Hyderabad, some people from Bhopal and a lot of people who had come from the Kolkata first round of auditions itself. Anyway, this round was quite a screw up for me , Ill tell you why.

I had anyway already surrendered for this round because all the people I met there had previous experience in other TV reality shows. And I even watched their dance, they were too much better than me anyway. More experienced, more trained. It was going to be an impossible task just getting out in a dignified way, I just didn't want to end up making a fool of myself.

The moment came for me to enter the stage. I went there and was pretty cool in spite of seeing Farah Khan and Vaibhavi Merchant being there to judge me.

I did my first semi classical performance after which Vaibhavi Merchant said she thought I had something in me. Then she asked me whether I knew some other styles, and then asked me to dance on Sheila. Now because I had just finished dancing on a semi classical, my body was still in that semi classical stage and I ended up dancing on Sheila just like another Semi classical performance to which Farah Khan told me that I might have been one of the best dancers in my region but right now I was not even close for this competition. I smiled and agreed, because I myself knew how much I had to learn . I took that in the right spirit and left with a wonderful experience and a hope that I will become a better dancer, learn more.

And back I am to Bangalore, my first stint in a reality show.