7am to 10pm Love. Philosophy. Updates About Life.

I would not be exaggerating if I say I have been working for about 14 hours a day, which includes at least five to seven hours of dancing and easily two hours of travel. Its funny though because I do not mind it one bit. In fact I absolutely love it. You might think it is because I am a workaholic, but the reality is because I feel good about the fact that I have enough work on my platter.

Being a freelancer, having busy days definitely gives you the greatest high possible. I started dancing professionally when I was almost 24. So essentially, I still have just about three years experience. I always do things in a hurry, talk in a hurry, work in a hurry. I think it has something to do with the fact that my clock is ticking faster. I have lesser time to achieve what a 16 year old dancer can.

I just decided to share my thoughts with you.

I like blogging because it is like talking to someone who wants to listen to me.
I like talking. A lot.
I can talk for hours together without getting bored. From fashion to wellness to telling them how much I love my cat and my dog. To how much I love dancing. And food. And everything.

I am famous for passing out in the living room each night, even if we have a house party. And then waking up early in the morning just so that I can wake others up and talk to them.

I am loving the thought of next week. I am traveling to Mumbai on Monday and performing for the prestigious Daksha Sheth Dance Company. And I cannot express how much I am in awe of Daksha Didi's choreography.

Our team from Piah Dance Company is then leaving for Salem on Tuesday for a performance, and I am finally leaving for Gujarat to take a vacation with my family. I do not know how much sleep I will get. But you know what, I shall pass out whenever I can and get my dosage of sleep anyway.

In between all this, our company is doing a choreography for a school . I love kids just because they have no ego in them. If they like someone they say it. Simple. No ego comes to play even a little bit. 

So these I am working on believing more in myself. Not that I do not believe. But just that I need to believe more than I currently do. Not that that has anything to do with whether I really can or not. But just to believe I can.

Have you ever had days where you really want someone to come and evaluate you, in the most rightful manner, because you are just not able to evaluate yourself right? That happens with me. A lot. And honestly, the sooner I believe that I only can evaluate myself best, the better. There will always be bias otherwise. Friends and family will say better-than-real things to you. People who can see faults in you will focus more on the faults. So essentially I need to grow up and understand I cannot be spoon fed anymore.

So I shall tell you a little secret. But you need to promise me you won't judge me.
Actually even if you do, I will still share it. 

I have a dream of writing a book. A happy book. I do not know how it will go. But it will just be happy. You will feel happy at the end of it. It will not preach, or ask you to do things a particular way. Nor will it be a self help book. It will just be a happy book.

I have always loved motivating someone who has been feeling low in their lives. Maybe because I have felt low quite a few times too. And that feeling sucked. So bad.

And yes, the person who wrote a mail to me regarding the same, I am sorry I wasn't able to get back to you sooner, but I soon will. And I will try and make you feel better hopefully.

Honestly, I do not know where this blog is going. Its like a outlet where I am just talking. Maybe I should stop now. Good luck with reading this entirely. And if you have reached the bottom of this page and are reading this exact sentence right now, then you are a really good listener. 

I really should stop now.
Be happy, because I know shit happens to all of us. So lets keep the shit aside for a while and enjoy the not-so-shitty part of life. 
Look at my cat and dog if you like pets. They are really cute. 

Day 4, Day 5 and Day 6

So my day 4, 5 and 6 have been very random actually. First of all, my Bharatanatyam class started with a bang . I have been cooking a lot of healthy stuff these days.

For example :

Ragi Rotis

Mix Fruit Smoothie

Different types of lentils such as Chole, Lobia and Chana.

I have a project with this company for the choreography of one song. Thats what I have been working on for the past two days. This time I want the choreography to be such that not everyone would be doing the same step at a time. There should be less uniformity.

Winter has started. I can feel it in the smell of the air . This is different from the cold that Bangalore usually experiences.

Oh ya, do try out ginger tea. Basically add a huge chunk of ginger after crushing it. It really really opens up your senses. Even if you have not slept for five days, you just can't sleep.

Further plans of group fitness with OT. Lets target swimming or jogging together. The whole idea makes me happy. Makes me feel like one of those living-in-the-country-side and doing these fun things together. Who says we can't have our bicycle-riding fun in the city?

This city is totally awesome. If I have the choice then I would like to grow old here. And have a dog here. Actually two dogs. And then keep their baby dogs too.

Yeah I talk like a grown up. I feel like a grown up.

Actually no..... I still am the bicycle-riding person. :)

I tried downloading the 7th season of How I Met your Mother. I got some random episodes in some random language. Anyway, looks like I'll wait for a few days till more episodes are aired.

Last thing, do try out the headstand. Its super awesome. It just reduces your belly fat at the snap of your finger.

Also try out the dolphin plank pose . I swear I did it for a few d

ays and I might be hallucinating but I can see those muscles on my abs. :)

Day 1 looks good

Yes!!!

I made it.

I succeeded in getting up at 6.00am today.

As I told you earlier , my plans of getting up, exercising went all smoothly.

I had an elaborate breakfast of one boiled egg, a bowl of oatmeal with milk, two slices of toast with Nutrilite butter, and two guavas.

I also somehow ended up getting the time to wash all my clothes, drying them and folding the ones that dried.

So all these things happened till some 11.00am. I got ready after that and went to the rent shop to get my garba ghaghra on rent. I got that, had sumptuous Bengali meal of rotis and fish and got back. I'm almost set to get ready for the evening.

So yeah, this is Day 1. More updates tomorrow.

Wonders what A.R.Rahman must be thinking

You know I always ask people around... What will be going through A.R. Rahman's mind when he would listen to his own music piece. Would he be thinking "Wow, can anyone believe I'm such a prodigy" , or "How can I be so awesome?".

Have you ever thought of anything like this whenever you have done any work?

I haven't.

Anyway, I got a huge collection of all A.R.Rahman songs from a friend's external hard disk the other day. Not to forget the collection of How I Met Your Mother too, which has got me all fat and old because all I do is watch it all the time.

Its weird because in college I had decided not to watch any more TV series after F.R.I.E.N.D.S because a)I spent my entire one month vacation only doing that. And when I say ONLY. Imagine ONLY. I brushed and bathed in the evening. Slept for five hours, got up and started watching friends. It was a crazy addiction. But this seems to have started again.

Have you realised sometimes that when we try to make a point with valid arguments, we say "A)" and we don't either have a "B)" or end up putting some lame point. Zubair made me realize this once. And that is what just happened above.

My next book is going to be Shantaram. I have heard so much about it that I just have to grab the next copy. Wrapping up with my Luanne Rice's Summer Light.

I'm going to be a part of a Kannada movie dance sequence. I'll be travelling this week. Lets see how this goes.

And ya, if any dance readers out there, this is for you all. Rama Vaidhyanathan, the versatile Bharatanatyam dancer is coming to Bangalore on September 16th. I had seen her performance once before and I had blogged about it. http://priyakumarnitb.blogspot.com/2010/04/can-i-live-life-of-danseuse.html

Its so weird. Exactly a year ago, I was thinking about whether I can live the life of a danseuse. And exactly a year later, here I am living it. :)

Check out her schedule on facebook.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/RAMA-VAIDYANATHAN/54554134237

And ya, please don't forget to check out my site www.piah.in :)

July is the fastest month

Did you know I used to come online on my blog almost everyday to read the blogs that I follow, but didn't just realized how fast July flew. It was just a few days back that I thought I wrote the last post. But anyway. Lets focus on what all happened this month.

First of all, I had a complete blast of a birthday this 7th. It was a surprise from a lo

t of people I had never expected. I know birthdays make one happy and all, but this one made me even happier than that, if you know what I mean.

My birthday though ended in OT leaving for the U.S. Temporary parting blues remained for a few days but I consoled myself saying that its just for a month anyway.

Its raining cats and dogs here right now. In Bangalore, when you say "cats and dogs" you actually mean " daily evening chores of sprinkling water in the city". Its weird. So weird. Good weird though. That every time you sweat a little because of the weather, it just rains. So perfect. I did not know something like that existed . I thought weather was just meant to be like a strict teacher and teach you the meaning of tolerance.

This month was crazy. I ended up choreographing two stage events, one for Bosch and one for the school where I teach as a part timer.

They were both brilliant events. I even put up the videos and photos

on

http://www.facebook.com/piahdancestudio

Oh ya, I bought a lot of gifts for Polly for her birthday that was on Jul 11th, but have still not posted it. Bad me. (Lets hope writing it down makes me courier it faster)

One thing that has not been going on well is my food habits. Because of over work. I have thinned down a lot and not in a good way. Also, I have become very

irregular in my Bharatanatyam classes. I am feeling very guilty about that and trying to make up for it by going whenever I can.Hopefully , because both these events are done, I can go more regularly .

On the last note, here are a few photos Zubair and I took from my balcony

. Thi

s is the view from my house. Didn't know how amazing it was until just now. :) Happy reading. (Zubair. Again, why are we fighting? :S:S)

P.S : Green tea still makes me happy.

Day 1 : What I learnt . Marketing Strategies

Day 1 My pseudo stint as an event manager. Well, not entirely an event "manager", but more like a sponsorship getter, if thats even a word.

I made a list of all the possible questions regarding details of the event, got it clarified, prepared a budget break up and what we can offer to the sponsors, got ready and headed off to one of the busiest streets in town.

Brigade Road, Bangalore.

I went to around 20 showrooms/franchise/ shops which included places from banks, handicraft items, antique piece showrooms, watch showrooms, hotels, photo studio, gold loans, and I did not even spare government registered emporiums.

To my surprise, I got really good response from a lot of people. The bigger brands just ended up giving me their card with their manager's e-mail address asking me to send them my proposal.

But some shops where I went were totally interested and were really friendly. I never got even a single person signalling me to get out or stop disturbing him or anything.

It was like a nice cushion for the fact that I had just collected the material, and without an agenda or a particular shop to go to, my randomness looked quite positive.

Another thing that I understood in this field is : You'll meet different kinds of people, some may be truly business minded and will ask you " Isme hamara faayda bataao", or people who expect smooth talking like "Considering your product will attract art lovers the most" etc. Also, always remember that if you are girl, you'l also have to deal with over-friendly shopkeepers , if you know what I mean. Essentially, don't take anything to heart, and if you get compliments , there is no need to get offended... Just take it :)

Somehow I didn't even mind those over-friendly shopkeepers, they seemed completely harmless.. and in fact they were really nice people.

I got back, with 20 visiting cards, lets see how "The Proposal" goes. But happy to have a good start at least.

Can get some peaceful sleep tonight. Except if I get dance dreams again.

Now that was my first reality show stint

I had been vanishing from blogging for the past one month. Not that I was completely busy, but I chose to keep shut about the experiments I had been doing with my life.

Now that the experimenting is over , at least the one I was in, I decided to talk about it.

So here is the entire story of my first reality show stint.

I had gone home for a couple of days after quitting my job, and my mom saw me dancing at home. She asked . "Why don't you take part in some dance competition?" It sounded like a good idea to me, considering I wasn't doing anything apart from enjoying being unemployed anyway. After looking up on the net, we saw this dance competition called Just Dance that was a TV based dance competition going to be hosted and aired on Star Plus. The Bhopal auditions were going to be held on the 4th March, 2011. I was anyway planning on going to Bhopal to attend the Tech Fest of my college. Anyway, I decided to just go and give it a shot. I had zero preparations on me. I hadn't in fact even started attending my dance classes then.

This is the first time I understood how things work in a reality show, how to face the camera, how and what is looked for from you in a reality show.

Day 1 , 4th March ,2011 : I landed at the Venue, State Museum of Bhopal where the auditions were supposed to be taking place. I didn't have my song edited nor the choreography done. I got done with that somehow. After waiting for seven hours in the scorching heat and realizing that no one else had come to the auditions just wearing a pair of jeans and a black top, I surrendered even before entering the auditions and knew I can't get through. But I went and gave the auditions .. And somehow I scraped to the second round called the TV round. This round was essentially a recording of your dance that they would send to Mumbai to be judged and will come back to you if they like your dance.

22nd March, 2011 : Got the call for the next round of selection .

29th March, 2011 : Reached Kolkata. First round here was called the TV round part 2. Got through that. Second round was the Producers round. I had prepared a contemporary dance on "Kahin To" from the movie Jaane Tu ya Jaane Na. The producers told me my strengths lies in Semi Classical and that I should not attempt dancing on Contemporary if I haven't been trained in it. I clear the producers round somehow. They tell me to dance on a semi classical number. I go roaming in Kolkata at 10 in the night hunting for a semi classical/bharatanatayam dress. Found something somehow, got back and slept off with my makeup on. Did not even choreograph for the song.

30th March, 2011 : I get up at 6 in the morning with a start realizing that I haven't decided the song yet. I make my decision to repeat some song Ive done before and square in on "Iktara" from the movie Wake up Sid. I just put a few Bharatanatayam steps in between so that it starts looking like a semi classical number. I get ready, edit the song and reach the venue at 8. My aim was to choreograph the song in the mind while I was waiting for the judges to arrive. The judges by the way were Farah Khan and Vaibhavi Merchant. And ya, this show is called Just Dance, if I forgot to mention it earlier. Anyway, I choreographed something while everyone was waiting in the line . These people were the 80 finalists selected from the east region which included Hyderabad, some people from Bhopal and a lot of people who had come from the Kolkata first round of auditions itself. Anyway, this round was quite a screw up for me , Ill tell you why.

I had anyway already surrendered for this round because all the people I met there had previous experience in other TV reality shows. And I even watched their dance, they were too much better than me anyway. More experienced, more trained. It was going to be an impossible task just getting out in a dignified way, I just didn't want to end up making a fool of myself.

The moment came for me to enter the stage. I went there and was pretty cool in spite of seeing Farah Khan and Vaibhavi Merchant being there to judge me.

I did my first semi classical performance after which Vaibhavi Merchant said she thought I had something in me. Then she asked me whether I knew some other styles, and then asked me to dance on Sheila. Now because I had just finished dancing on a semi classical, my body was still in that semi classical stage and I ended up dancing on Sheila just like another Semi classical performance to which Farah Khan told me that I might have been one of the best dancers in my region but right now I was not even close for this competition. I smiled and agreed, because I myself knew how much I had to learn . I took that in the right spirit and left with a wonderful experience and a hope that I will become a better dancer, learn more.

And back I am to Bangalore, my first stint in a reality show.

Im not working.. Im whining

I'm down with a bad cold, have been planning a few things for the past few days to finish. Since I came back to Bangalore from an India trip, I had decided Ill take enough initiative and join dance classes and then look for a job.

a) Ive just started looking for dance classes, which hasn't gone very well

b) My portfolio is nowhere near to be made

c) I haven't even chalked out a plan to what types of job to look at. Leave alone applying to any of them.

The few attempts I made in the past few days were all unfruitful . Every night I would come back home whining that things didn't work out my way, but do you want to know why it REALLY didn't work out? Its because I didn't try enough.

You know when sometimes in life, you try something but you already know you wont get it, the effort is less than half because you are defeated in the mind. I dont know why I am having this.

Thats where I turn to blogging, because I know that this is the only place which will get my thoughts together, get my act together and take the initiative, be pushy.

I need to get out of my comfort zone and take the initiative.

And yet again, typing down the thoughts does relax my mind . Im glad

I took the plunge!!!

There are going to be big changes in my life. Im not sure how prepared I am for it.

I resigned.

Ya, I know its shocking. But I just resigned. I knew this was not what I wanted to do all my life.

Another month in this company and I'm off, to discover all the hidden ways to happiness in life.

Lets see what I have in my platter, I'm going to try my luck at event management, begin with my dance and finish the aim of finishing Arangetram by the time I'm 25 (That might stretch I know, but lets see how fast I can do it). Apart from this, I'm really in the mood to experiment a lot of random things like planning a fitness center, trying out Yoga/Dance Aerobics.

This comes as a shocker for most people around me because whenever I tell them I quit this company, the first question I'm asked is "Which company did you shift to?" or "Which company are you going to?".

Somehow me telling them "I'm not going anywhere, I am just taking a break from this hustle-bustle and then trying my luck out at other things" is taken with a pinch of shock. Although, there have been a lot of my friends who couldn't be happier for me because I took this risk, but there is a set of people who think its not a very good idea.

Whether its a good idea or not, only time can tell. I want to know from life whether its just money that can buy you happiness or the satisfaction of what you do. I have taken the plunge, I quit my job. I'm all on my own. Ready to face the world. Now whether the world kicks me or embraces me in its arms is something I am yet to figure out.

Good luck to me!!!

A bright, new, happy 2011 !!!

I have so many things to write today. So I went about it by jotting down all the points I wanted to write before I forget. This substantiates the fact of my fetish for making lists.

I had a very happy New Year's Eve party last night. I danced like crazy. And suddenly I realized that its the most fun thing dancing with A.K. Everything suddenly becomes bliss. I know he is not a big fan of dancing. But I also know that he doesn't mind dancing once in a while with me. I was just a little worried towards the end because Popat became unwell. Also that I lost my clutch that had my debit card and my license. (Zufair : I know. This must be making you really happy. This is still nothing compared to the four cards you lost in six months)

Still, somehow these little roadblocks didn't stop me from feeling happy about the New Year Eve party. I think because it had a lot to do with the fact that I had all my close ones in Bangalore (Zufair was missing though :(..I wish he had been there too.) , the blissful dance with A.K and the final countdown to 2011. Honestly, after that precious moment when the crowds shouted "5..4..3..2..1", I became so emotional that I started crying. It just takes a drop of the hat for my tears to start rolling.

On this note, I want to make a special mention of A.K who has made my journey in Bangalore really special. Sometimes in life you need a cushion, to fall back on when you know the world slaps you with a hard hand. I have so much faith in him, because I know I have him in my life. There is immense happiness and tonnes of happy tears when I'm with him. I'm so glad that there's been a great beginning for 2011. I'm so glad that even the little fights we have had has never let me stop seeing the big picture, and realize there are more important things in life than winning some petty fight. And as I mentioned before, I've never loved dancing with anyone as much I have loved dancing with you.

This New Year Eve party involved me doing a lot of shopping. I have A.K's Canon Powershot SX110 IS which is THE best thing I could have in my hand. I took pictures of all the dresses and shoes that I bought. Will upload once I get the data cable from him. Also, along with those dresses, I suddenly got the mood to try out different styles of clothing from whatever I have in my wardrobe. How it all started was, I was watching these "How to dress in Style" videos on youtube.com. And seeing these girls team up simple t-shirts with belts and looking like style icons inspired me to do the same. Fortunately, I succeeded in creating one top-jeans-shoes-belt combination which looked pretty good. Anyway, I clicked pictures of me wearing them.

Adding to my list of things that I need to do in the next two days includes inquiring about my lost clutch, my lost driver's license, and getting a new debit card. I'll be joining dance classes soon.

Adding to the New Year resolution list :

1)Get a professional photoshoot.

2)Dont let people treat you like a pushover(Learn to be firm and ward unwanted people away).

Music I'm listening to :Beyonce, Irreplacable (Spanish version)

Book I'm reading : Catcher in the Rye by J.D Salinger

Weird Fact of the Day : When you type "add" in T9 on your mobile, the first word that it gives you is "bed". ( I don't know how "bed" is a more common word than "add"... Don't want to think deeper into this though. (chuckle))

Health Tip I just learned : Just found out that lycopene, found in tomatoes are absorbed in the body only if you take in with a little amount of fat. The best suggestion is to add a little olive oil to the salad. Time to buy Olive Oil I think.

Also, I oiled and steamed my hair. Lately I have been having more bad hair days than good ones. Soon , I plan to visit the dentist and the dermatologist to get myself checked.

Finally, I'm taking this moment to thank all the people who were there for me in 2010. In no particular order :Zubair ,Urvi, Alfan, Prerna, Amar, Indu, Animesh, Amit, Farah, Vivek, PU, Tirus, Smriti, Sonali, Harsh Mishra, GT, Pratham, Goli, Polly, Mom and Dad, Abhishek,juniors like Monika, Rakesh, Manju, the gujjus Amit, Megha(the biggest Gunti), Rekha (the biggest Drama Queen)..the IT Folks : Nandu, Chansal, Apurva, YK, Ritika and others, my basketball team: Sarita, Rachna, Siddhant, Rekha and all the others in the girls and guys team, Work people like Kranthi, Anup, Supriya, Madhavi, Komal, Jigisha, Madhurita, Ramya, Komal, Renjit, Vimmy, Eswar, Sumesh,my blog twin Anurag aka Lavinor.

And finally A.K... for giving me all the happiness I ever wanted.

(I apologize if I forgot a few names.. It might just mean that you were very important but always there.. so didn't click in my head)

New Year Resolutions..

This might not be the entire list. But just the few that I decided to put up :

1. To take a pledge to donate all my body organs that can be donated after I pass away. (Its a grieving resolution, but I thought why not help someone else after I am gone?)
2. To decide what tattoo to get and get it before 2011.
3. To read one book every fortnight. That way, to read 24 books in 2011. And add a (+1) to make it my lucky number. Makes it 25 books in 2011.
4. Stop procrastinating. This is a resolution I keep every year, but fail to stick to it.
5. Get going on Bharatanatyam . I suddenly realised I have only one and a half years to complete my aim of doing an Arangetram before I turn 25. Atleast let me start now, if not 25 , Ill still do it someday.

Will fill in some more that are to come by tomorrow.
Happy New Year all of you!!! :):) Stop drinking and getting slaushed this New Year Eve. Wake up early morning, and get ready to kick start a bright, new morning. :)

I love Simpsons!

I love every character in that show. Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa , Maggie , Santa's Little Helper. The entire family is super cute!!!

I did not get to blog much since my dance. Blame it on my dance a little though. Oh btw, while we are on it, lemme tell you that I was very very disappointed with my dance. Not because there was no synchronization in the dancers, but the concept itself was something I didnt enjoy right from the beginning. So the problem is that there are two schools of thought.

1) People who think that just by playing the audience's favourite song one can pass off any dance.

2) People see dance only for the dance, not for the music.

I agree I may be the biggest extreme of the latter (which again is not a good thing), but there were people who swore by the former. And because of majority, I gave in. Anyway, as long as I had something to work for, I am happy.

On the Simpsons note, this show gets out all my maternal instincts. You know its weird, but I really think I can take care of little ones well. I think the best indication how you ll be with your kid is by seeing how you keep your pet dog. And I thoroughly pamper Polly, to the extent of spoiling her.

Looking forward for this weekend, explore Cochin.

Winters make me real sleepy, and I have food cravings all the time. But I love to sleep during winters. After getting back from Cochin though, I plan to decorate my room in pretty twinkly lights and finalize my 2011 list. Lets see how it goes.

@Lavinor : Ill make the list before 2011 starts, for sure.

This one doesnt have a title

With each passing day, I tend to believe even more that blogging makes me really happy. After a long , hard day of multi tasking and trying to make ends meet at work, there is nothing better than listening to some nice music and just writing out everything that is in my head. Somehow it helps me clear declutter my mind.

The latest thing that has caught my fancy is singing along with Karaoke on Youtube. I sang along to a few songs till now, my favourite being Yellow by Coldplay, You 're still the one by Shania Twain and Zombie by Cranberries. Zombie just came by chance, I heard our office band singing this song during one of their jam sessions. I loved it so much that I actually went to the extent of making my roommate call one of those guys to find out what the song was.
Talking of music, Zufair just reminded me of how much I am in love with Mohit Chauhan's voice.
So listening to one of his latest songs from his album Fitoor.

My annual day dance is getting me a little stressed out. Its a lot of factors put together, different people having different opinions, not able to find the perfect time for everyone to come and practice .. and most importantly, these practice sessions have been taking out this mean person inside me .
I was a little rude with Psycho today, was really mean with some of the guys who keep commenting on everything and anything under the sun. I feel like Im behaving like a total arrogant b*&%$ when I'm trying to get practice done . I dont like that side of me. And honestly, I think Im not doing my job well if Im not keeping the dancers happy. I feel responsible somehow to make this dance go smoothly. I am not expecting the best dance to come out of this, but something that makes me happy and rememeber it as a performance that I did. So yeah, I feel a little guilty now, but charged up to try and be nicer to people when dance practice is going on.

More on my updates. I have a friendly basketball match with one of the best women's team of Bangalore. God save us. On a fitness note, there is a midnight marathon organised in Bangalore every year. I plan to run the IT run event which is a 4.2 Km run. I just hope Im able to squeeze in some time to do all these things.

Today, I just realised how even talking to some people for sometime and uplift one's mood to such a brilliant level.

And the weirdest part is that I began writing my blog with the intention to ramble along for sometime. :)

Can I live the life of a danseuse?

It was.

It really was the amalgamation of body and soul.

Union of dancer and the dance.

She is Ms.Rama Vaidhyanathan. Born in Kerala, brought up in Delhi, she is 42, but looks nothing more than 20.

She inspired me to the extent that i thought i write something about her.

She performed a dance called "Navrasa Mohana" which meant, nine emotions which are shown towards Lord Krishna .

Bharanatayam is something that makes me forget all other beings in this world. And especially watching true grace inspired me so much.

I was sitting there, clapping, having tears in my eyes whenever she depicted each emotion, every moment thinking.. would I have been even half as good a dancer as her had I not left dance in the 10th standard.

Every thought occurring in my mind..Can i leave my job and just become a danseuse ? Will I be half as good if I only pursue dance in life? How spiritual must she be feeling doing every performance, everything coming from her heart?

Although i know one thing. Even if i never become a renowned dancer,I know for a fact that Ill never stop loving to dance. Its not the number of claps that one gets, its the feeling of moving to the beats of music.. raga.. taal.

Can I live a life of a danseuse?

...

...

is what i thought.

The most beautiful thing ive ever felt

You know what is the best feeling?When you come up on stage. You feel the lights blinding your eyes. And suddenly , with the start of the music. You hear people screaming at the top of their voices. J

Im smiling right now. Im really happy . These four days of Technosearch ’10 went by without realizing.

I started preparing for dance. Me and my favourite dance partner Indu along with Urvi decided to do something special this year. So we choreographed the dance on “Baby One more Time” .But due to unfortunate circumstances we couldn’t do the dance .I was a little disheartened. Because I hate backing out of anything , once Ive taken it up,especially dances.I still didn’t give up hope. Me and a few really good dancers from the junior batches danced on Iktara. Iktara was cancelled once before, but this time we did. I don’t know how the audience found our dance. But I loved dancing on it. The way all of us moved gracefully to the tunes of Iktara, I felt true inner happiness. All these things didn’t feel like it was done for any competition. Or for any commercial act. It was pure dance. Beauty. It felt beauty inside. It did not think about whether it was better than others or not. Other dances might have been much better, but I didn’t seem to care.I just danced. Felt like I was praying. I just danced because I loved to dance. I took part in B-Tango with my son (Amar Sesma) . J We rocked the stage the way we danced, especially Amar. He was absolutely brilliant. People shouts were heard the most when he used to start dancing.Im realy proud of him.

I also walked the Ramp. Angels of Paradise. We were looking gorgeous. Everyone was dressed like angels. The effort put in, the choreography involved. Everything seemed so worth it in the end. I just walked the group ramp and came. Urvi majorly designed our clothes, after which girls used their own brain to create the final look. The outcome though was beautiful . The way people walked the ramp. When I slipped on to the white one shoulder dress with yellow and white flowers on it, it just felt so beautiful. I felt like the most beautiful person on earth, even without looking in the mirror. Coz I felt beautiful. I felt in from inside. When we came on stage, the feeling that I got when people started cheering at the top of their voices.God must have been there to see me. It felt like prayer. It felt like meditation.

It felt beautiful.

It was the most beautiful thing ive ever seen!

This is when Elizabeth was a baby.

Our hostel pup Elizabeth finally gave birth to pups. They are so adorable. It was the most beautiful thing ive ever seen.I wish Polly had given birth to pups. :(.

She gave birth starting from 22:50pm on 30th October 2009. 7 pups in all. one died.:( now they are three black and three white.

But anyway ,Im putting up pics. Enjoy!

The above three photos are when Elizabeth gave birth.

The happiest moment of my life..

Seeing elizabeth as a baby. And now seeing her babies.:)

Diwali '09!!

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Because I wasnt able to go home for Navratri, I thought why not go home for Diwali?So I came here. Diwali was like any year a silent Diwali, without crackers. Polly gets traumatized after hearing the sound of crackers. It reminds her of her German ancestors probably..;)

Anyway me and Goli decided to make a Rangoli to get the feel of festivities of Diwali.

She decided to make The Simpsons as rangoli. Not only because that is her favorite TV series, but also because we have always thought of The Simpsons having an uncanny resemblance to our family. (Hilarious ,I know)

Homer .J : His behaving like a kid at most times, Penny Wise Pound Foolish. Competing with Bart and Lisa, not answering to the questions their kids ask with the right answer, instead.. saying "No LISa, Daddy does not want you to go there".(Daddy)

Marge: Singing along to herself when she is working in the kitchen, an extremely loving mother,does not hear when her kids are shouting out her name. Cannot be very strict to her kids. Lisa and Maggi's favorite.(Mom)


Bart: Spoilt Brat, very street smart, good with gadgets and playing pranks on friends. Fights with little sister Lisa and finds her stupid to believe in institutionalization and formal education. (Pratham)

Lisa: Passionate, emotional, animal lover, pure vegetarian, environmentalist. (Me)

Maggi: High IQ, always on mom's lap. (Goli)

Santa's Little Helper: Cute ,Brown dog. Always near Lisa. (Polly)


Dur to this,Maggi decided to make the Simpsons rangoli during diwali .It turned out to be pretty much a disaster, with me giving outlines in black and my brother in green.




Also, I discovered a few things:

a) Socializing does lighten your mood. Even its on the net.

b) Polly is really a smart dog. There was rangoli all over the balcony. But she was really smart not to step on it, even if it took taking a few extra steps.

The road less travelled

Im scared. Not scared to death. But scared. I want to know what's best for me. I happened to meet this woman in our flat who had been in the Navy for seven years. I was awe struck by her. And at this point, I feel like a little kid. I feel like thinking about random things right now, a lot of things ...and nothing related to each other. A complete mad hatter is what I feel right now:

a)Join the navy.
b)Become a veterinary doc.
c)Open a dance class for 15 days in Gandhinagar, and teach them a few dance routines. Pocket money.
d)Go abroad and learn Ballet.
e)Take a trip with my mom and sister. Girls Holiday Out.
f)Sleep continuously atleast for 16 hours. And feel totally fresh.
g)Buy a domain name .Create a web site.
h)Collaborate with my mom and hold a dance competition for different categories in the Town Hall at Gandhinagar. Something small but fulfilling to start with.
i)Not to sit for my placements at all. No point because anyway they are looking for coders. Whtas the point of looking for a "backup" just incase things dont work out.
j)Collaborate with my mom and help her open a boutique. I will be incharge of decorating the boutique. Decorating it with handicrafts and artifacts. Use of wood logs in the boutique as seats. Converting our garage into a boutique seems like a wonderful idea. :):)


I dont know why is it that a lot of times this randomness enters my head and stays for a long time. Why is it that I end up deciding the most random things in life and something so monotonous comes on my way?

I dont know what to do. I just dont. Will this realisation ever come to me?Or shall I do everything turn by turn?

And when I dont, I just want to go home. Things seem so much simpler then.
Even without a solution. :(:(

Introspection!!!

Its really strange. I had an amazing July till now. A lot of events unfolded. Some of them being:

a)Vizag Trip: The greenest place Ive seen till date. I used to think Gandhinagar is the greenest.. and I realised my folly when I visited that place. It had some awesome sites to visit, a few of them being Rishikonda Beach, Bora Caves and Aruku Valley. The road to Aruku Valley was the most heavenly thing I had ever seen. For the first time I could see clouds between mountains. Some pictures from the visit are seen below:


b)My birthday: Was on the 7th July. A really cute birthday it was. I cut the cake three times. We went trekking in the evening on the rocks near our office campus. Later that night, a few of us went to this place called Mainland China. It was a lovely place. We had the best food ,best ambience and the cute waiters played the "Happy birthday" song with their guitars. :):). Was feeling On top of the world.

c)Work wise things went pretty well, had my interview today...That didnt exactly go well. But im happy i reached till there.

d)Hoping to get back now. Harsh was the closest friend I made and he will be gone tomorrow. Now i am really dying to get back.






After all this, I sat thinking about why Im still not happy with what is going on? And then I realized it is because for the first time in my life, the work that I am doing is not what I really want to do. .

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And after these two months, Im absolutely sure that this is not what I want to make out of my life.

Back on track..Back to life!!

First of all ,let me jump as high as I can..July is here!!! Yay..

I must be one of the very few people who gets excessively excited about my birthday coming,and one of the rarest to sit with a pen and paper and actually plan it. So here it is,my favorite month,for the obvious reasons. I love this month for a lot of reasons,mainly being loads of rain,dewdrops on plants early in the morning, college reopening,looking forward to setting up my new room , meeting Popat after such a long time, seeing the birthday pics everyday ..again and again.. So many things happen during July. This July is a little different though. I used to spend every year normally roaming around with Amit , going to Cafe Coffee Day and Cool Point , Infocity, Gandhinagar. Used to listen to his talk, loads and loads of interesting ideas,the way he used to laugh like a moron. This year I havent been able to get a chance to sit with him in those places.And I spent these holidays without him. :( Hope to see him when I get back sometime during the later half of the year. One of my friends had told me that he was disappointed seeing sad posts in my blog. So I decided Ill come back with a bang. And yeah, so I am back ,with the best of my zest and zeal. One of the things I decided to do was to make a list of top 100 things to do before I die.

I had succeeded in making only a few,but thought Ill keep updating as I remember. So here it goes,the few of which I have in the making of a fulfilling life.

1)Walk in the sands of the Goa beach,in the evening..watching the perfect sunset.
2)Get a belly button piercing.
3)Make a dance video,and be the lead,with cool effects...using black,white and red.!!!
4)Get a set of professional photographs taken..the style diva for a day!
5)Have a pet organization.
6)Buy my mom a ticket to some place abroad,all by my own money.
7)Adopt a baby.
8)Taste Alcohol once..and see what its like getting drunk.
9)Get a tattoo.
10)Go to all the continents of the world once..even if it is one place each.
11)Start a cultural events academy.
12)Buy a cool NIKON camera ,used by most professional photographers,and take a lot of photographs.
13)See all weather conditions, snowfall,desert,rainfall,autumn leaves,spring flowers.....
14)Visit to a spa in Kerala.
15)Cook a full five course continental meal ,which btw is delicious...all by myself.
16)Do a ballroom dance,wearing the perfect Black gown.
17)Get a huge family picture ,which can be blown up into becoming a wallpaper of one entire wall f the room.



Loads of things happening in life. A cultural programme took place during our internship. One was a classical dance and the other was a Giddha (Punjabi folk dance of women). The giddha went well, but due to time constraints my solo bharatatyam didnt go really well.I didnt have time to edit the song, and my final performance had a lot of disturbance. Apparently the audience wasnt able to relate to it (a few came and complained as well). I was upset for sometime because of some random people coming and telling me things. But then,I thought its a challenge to come up with a performance without any flaws.

Anyway, Im making a trip to Vizag with a few friends of mine. I plan to celebrate a birthdya in advance during the weekend ,wear a straw hat, bubble chappals, and a shell necklace, and cut the cake on the shore ,water hitting my legs. I hope the weather and other things go the right way. Im really excited about making the trip . And Im missing a few people as well. So yeah,in short, this is pretty much what is happening in my life right now. 17 days left for me to go back home. Im happy and sad as well .Made a few good friends out here. Will miss them a lot when I get back. Lets not think about it for now. Lets hope the best for this new month.

Oh yeah, I also sprained my ankle in the aerobics class in the office building. I fell at an angle of 90 degrees flat on the ground. Its much better now. But lets hope it gets perfectly fine before I leave for Vizag.

Cheers!