Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Value of Goodness!

I reflect the most upon life when I'm meditating. There is complete silence all around. I was just reflecting back upon my life in the year 2009. This new year I decided I wont keep any yearly resolutions. Instead of deciding to do things for myself, I thought Ill decide all the values Ill inculcate in this new year. My year began with a lot of goodness. And hopefully, I was good to others too. The latter half of the year came with a lot of negativities. I felt from the inside that I was very negative about a lot of people, never understood their perspective. I always thought every action that anyone caused to hurt me was a malicious act of hurting me where it hurt the most.

I was wrong.

I was insecure with my life. I looked at everyone the way the looked at myself.

And its truly said that the way one judges others is a reflection of how one judges themselves.

And maybe I judged myself so much that I was always blank about what to post in my blog. And then I preferred not to blog at all.

I came home after the Surat Inter NIT basketball tournament. I met my best friend after a long, long time. I wasn't even sure whether he still thinks of me as one of his closest. I was wrong in doubting that. I felt the closeness. I was happy. Contented. And suddenly my insecurities flew away to some faraway land. I feel happier now. I got him back.

I thought I had become distant with Popat this semester . She is at home now. She makes me laugh like crazy. Im happy I have her.

Despo was the biggest surprise of this year. After seeing me laugh with him, sometimes I wonder, Can friends ever go away?

And then I get my answer: Never.

I wasnt even in touch with Poki this semester. But when I came home, I roamed with her all around the City. We talked about the times when we were kids and used to hang around and play Pictionary and dance together. It felt like Class 9 again.

And then I realise. That I was wrong in thinking people went away from me. It was me who went away from me. And when I decided to come back, I saw no one was gone. Everyone was there. And then I realised how on-the-edge lucky I was.

So this new year, I thought .. No jobs to be listed in the list of resolutions. Just an attempt to become a better person. And to make others happy.

A year to value goodness.