Friday, December 31, 2010

New Year Resolutions..

This might not be the entire list. But just the few that I decided to put up :

1. To take a pledge to donate all my body organs that can be donated after I pass away. (Its a grieving resolution, but I thought why not help someone else after I am gone?)
2. To decide what tattoo to get and get it before 2011.
3. To read one book every fortnight. That way, to read 24 books in 2011. And add a (+1) to make it my lucky number. Makes it 25 books in 2011.
4. Stop procrastinating. This is a resolution I keep every year, but fail to stick to it.
5. Get going on Bharatanatyam . I suddenly realised I have only one and a half years to complete my aim of doing an Arangetram before I turn 25. Atleast let me start now, if not 25 , Ill still do it someday.

Will fill in some more that are to come by tomorrow.
Happy New Year all of you!!! :):) Stop drinking and getting slaushed this New Year Eve. Wake up early morning, and get ready to kick start a bright, new morning. :)

Now I understand what an awkward situation means...

Funny as it may sound, but feeling out of place in a huge crowd of people can be the worst feeling..

I had the exact same feeling a while ago.
I went out with a couple of friends of the one because of whom I went. They were four in all. The worst part is because they all know each other really well, and their conversation involved a lot of internal talks. The worst part was , the person who was common to both me and them didnt seem to help either. So at the end of it, I was just sitting and listening to what they were talking, half of which I didnt comprehend because it involved some internal joke or some incident that I'm not aware of. It really disgusted me to the core.
It was a cold, dark night. 11.00 o clock in the night. Chilly winter. I was wearing that person's pyjamas and a T-Shirt, looking nothing better than a mad woman walking on the streets in loose clothes and unkept hair, my cheeks were red because of a lot of exercise I had done, my Kajal was spread across my under eye bags, making me look like a total unkept, ungroomed psychopath. Anyway, I wasnt even totally over the pain of entering a posh coffee shop looking like a total hag, than I realised that worse was to come.
To fake smile is something I have learnt from stage performances. But to fake smile when you are not understanding what the hell is happening for almost an hour and a half was the biggest test of my life.

More than test, somehow it began to annoy me a little towards the end. They aren't bad people I'm sure. Its just the feeling of feeling stupid and awkward in a situation that made me feel really weird.

But I must admit this too. Venting this random feeling out was the first step of conquering it. I already feel much better now. And my list of new year resolutions is almost out. I know I wont have time to blog tomorrow as Ill be busy getting dressed for the New Year Eve Party. So Im thinking why not blog my list today itself. Already feeling in the wonderful mood right now. :)

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Why I am vulnerable right now...

I decided to reflect upon my life.. Pre Bangalore vs Post Bangalore. And see where I am going. And how has it been for me till date.

Firstly I'm going to list down all the things I feel or the traits which are currently there.
- I get happy very fast too.
- I feel lonely very fast nowadays.
- And the past two feelings suggest I have been getting very vulnerable.

I just talked to Popat and realized that this vulnerability is nothing but parting sadness. And the real problem here is that I miss people after spending good quality time with him, but get really irritated if I feel they don't miss me enough. I think people are different. And we just have to understand that different people are made differently.

Anyway, I need to uplift my mood so that I can work upon my New Year Resolutions as well as the long list of work to be finished.
Feeling Blue.. Maybe because once you get a burst of happiness and back home, you want some more!!!

Time to sleep it off and forget about it.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

I love Simpsons!

I love every character in that show. Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa , Maggie , Santa's Little Helper. The entire family is super cute!!!

I did not get to blog much since my dance. Blame it on my dance a little though. Oh btw, while we are on it, lemme tell you that I was very very disappointed with my dance. Not because there was no synchronization in the dancers, but the concept itself was something I didnt enjoy right from the beginning. So the problem is that there are two schools of thought.
1) People who think that just by playing the audience's favourite song one can pass off any dance.
2) People see dance only for the dance, not for the music.

I agree I may be the biggest extreme of the latter (which again is not a good thing), but there were people who swore by the former. And because of majority, I gave in. Anyway, as long as I had something to work for, I am happy.

On the Simpsons note, this show gets out all my maternal instincts. You know its weird, but I really think I can take care of little ones well. I think the best indication how you ll be with your kid is by seeing how you keep your pet dog. And I thoroughly pamper Polly, to the extent of spoiling her.

Looking forward for this weekend, explore Cochin.

Winters make me real sleepy, and I have food cravings all the time. But I love to sleep during winters. After getting back from Cochin though, I plan to decorate my room in pretty twinkly lights and finalize my 2011 list. Lets see how it goes.
@Lavinor : Ill make the list before 2011 starts, for sure.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

One hectic day leads to another lazy day...

I just got up from a nice afternoon siesta. Well, not nice I must say... I kept having these random choreography in mind and then couldnt sleep very properly. But because of yin yang, I got up, danced with my roommates and I became all fine. I thought of meeting Purnima today, but because of being late, I got late. So now I have plans of watching Harry Potter 7 (I know I'm late).
I was a little bossy with the dancers today I think, I'm a little guilty of that. I believe in Karma. Put two and two together. :(

Time to get dressed and go for the movie. Suddenly I'm very happy. :):)

And I know why.
On that note, I just remembered how much I love the books of Luanne Rice. She has a lot fo warmth in her books. I have read only two of them till now, but wish to go to Blossoms, Bangalore and buy all the books available. Its a must read for those who take a minute to cry,and a second to laugh it off afterwards.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

You ll get what you want ... When the time comes..

The person knows this one is for him/her. So, Ive always believed in the theory that if you really really want something in life, there cant be a case where you would never get it. The only reason you would'nt have got it because you did not REALLY want it. I have seen people saying , "Gosh , I wish I was so lucky" . But dude, whoever out there says it, hope you realise that you are in the queue of getting it. A) Just REALLY want it. B) Have patience.

Anyway, I lived the day of my ancestors. It sounds absurd I know. But I always had learnt that our ancestors , going back to cavemen used to hunt for animals almost 16 hours of the day. So essentially, all they did throughout the day was to workout, and then come back and sleep. But then the new age set it and lethargy entered in all of us, being content in our umpteenth cup of coffee and sitting at our office desks from 9 to 5.
I had a friendly match with another college in Bangalore today morning, and we were not bad either. I came back , got ready for dance practice for our annual day, and then came back home, changed and ran to run the 5 Km Marathon run. There were 3000 participants out of which I was 6th in the women's category. Not too bad for me. Unfortunately they only had medals for top 5. Nevertheless, it was a proud moment for me to have finished the race. Im glad.

Time to sleep now!!! Long day ahead.
At the end of the day, Im completely exhausted, but proud of myself

Friday, December 10, 2010

Another day of a lost fight with my own self...

Its been a few days since Zufair pointed out a few flaws in me. The same flaws that Ive been living with all my life, something Ive never wanted to have in me. and yet, there are moments when I lose it.
I dont want to punish myself repeatedly for it, because it will dull down my morale, at the same time cut down those flaws, just like how a chain smoker would cut down his cigarettes in a rehabilitation center.

Isnt it so ironic that when I was small, and I would see my loved ones smoking , I would often wonder how weak would their will power be to be able to conquer smoking and just go cold turkey. But now that I look at me, it doesnt seem much different to conquer this flaw of mine. The tendency to lose temper fast, the tendency to feel hurt soon. Infact feeling hurt sooner is a much bigger flaw than losing temper. Feeling hurt is followed by self pity, which makes me feel utterly miserable, dependent and vulnerable.

Like today, I was silly enough to have a momentary lapse of temper with Zufair just because he made fun of my hair. (@Zufair : Openly admitting my shortcoming suggests that I am trying to improve and take in the right spirit :))

And then something as stupid as OT scolding me for not using other people's cellphones to take photos. Worse to come, I actually looked for another reason to be angry at him, a reason big enough that could destroy important strings attached in life. When I look at the bigger picture, I know how much importance this person holds in my life. I can see the effort taken from that side to keep me happy. And I am.

Then for what did I get hurt? Just to satisfy my ego? To prove me right?
I know that someday will come where I dont let anger rule over me.
And the struggle for it has already begun.

So at the end of the day, I tag this blog as "I_am_grateful_for" because I am grateful there have been these two people who have been with me and tolerated me inspite of my flaws.

I really want to be what Russell Peters says (in Zufair's rendition)
"When you look at a tree, and if there was a camera that would take pictures of what is going on inside your head, you should be able to see nothing."

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

This one doesnt have a title

With each passing day, I tend to believe even more that blogging makes me really happy. After a long , hard day of multi tasking and trying to make ends meet at work, there is nothing better than listening to some nice music and just writing out everything that is in my head. Somehow it helps me clear declutter my mind.

The latest thing that has caught my fancy is singing along with Karaoke on Youtube. I sang along to a few songs till now, my favourite being Yellow by Coldplay, You 're still the one by Shania Twain and Zombie by Cranberries. Zombie just came by chance, I heard our office band singing this song during one of their jam sessions. I loved it so much that I actually went to the extent of making my roommate call one of those guys to find out what the song was.
Talking of music, Zufair just reminded me of how much I am in love with Mohit Chauhan's voice.
So listening to one of his latest songs from his album Fitoor.

My annual day dance is getting me a little stressed out. Its a lot of factors put together, different people having different opinions, not able to find the perfect time for everyone to come and practice .. and most importantly, these practice sessions have been taking out this mean person inside me .
I was a little rude with Psycho today, was really mean with some of the guys who keep commenting on everything and anything under the sun. I feel like Im behaving like a total arrogant b*&%$ when I'm trying to get practice done . I dont like that side of me. And honestly, I think Im not doing my job well if Im not keeping the dancers happy. I feel responsible somehow to make this dance go smoothly. I am not expecting the best dance to come out of this, but something that makes me happy and rememeber it as a performance that I did. So yeah, I feel a little guilty now, but charged up to try and be nicer to people when dance practice is going on.

More on my updates. I have a friendly basketball match with one of the best women's team of Bangalore. God save us. On a fitness note, there is a midnight marathon organised in Bangalore every year. I plan to run the IT run event which is a 4.2 Km run. I just hope Im able to squeeze in some time to do all these things.

Today, I just realised how even talking to some people for sometime and uplift one's mood to such a brilliant level.

And the weirdest part is that I began writing my blog with the intention to ramble along for sometime. :)

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Happy Birthday Poki!!!

This one is for my childhood memories, for someone who was always there when you needed her.
People are born with Barbie Dolls, I was born with having a friend like her. She came to Mount Carmel School in Kinder Garten. And since then we were always together in any activity, basketball, dance, name it.. and both of us are there for it. She was always the blue-eyed girl of our class. I always found her the prettiest in our class.

If you happen to catch a first glance, you'll notice that she lives life like a Princess. And that makes me so proud of her. With her 5"7' height, her lovely locks, her beautiful eyes and her powerpul personality, she can definitely give run for all the models in the country. Has an amazing fashion sense, a total diva one could say.

Although, thats what you 'll see. I have seen the real,crazy,whacky side of her. For example, I have heard her call diabetes , "DII-YAA-BATES" and rolling on the floor laughing for it. Thats the crazy her.
We have our set of really crazy moments we have had together.
Some of them are:
Poki has actually signed an autograph for me saying , " This one is my first autograph for you when I become famous. Signed : Nikita Puniani. :)
I know this day will defnitely come where Ill flaunt this autograph on Facebook.
(I still have the autograph on a page btw)
We have read Femina and discussed weird gossip right from how a guy dumps a girl to which is the best beauty secret when we were in the 8th Standard. We were very inquisitive kids.
Our everyday routine would be that we would meet in school together, wait for Recess to happen, have breakfast together, wait for classes to end, and cycle back to my place. And then I would put Backstreet Boys in my cassette player and we would start finishing all my homework. Maths, Science, even Drawing. There was always this competition between us as to who would finish first, and that way we would always end up finishing homework on time. Once the clock struck 5pm. We would get out of the house and play basketball or this crazy version of Badminton Ive never played before. The distance between us would almost be double of an actual Badminton court and we would call it our "Long Range" game. After a long ,tiring game of our "Long Range Badminton" we would get back, wash our faces and dress up like complete divas to go to CTF (Chills, Thrills and Frills) to eat something. Somehow ,she was always fond of coffee. So then we would go to CTF, and we would crib about how there are no "good" guys in Gandhinagar. (Think : Typical Teenage Drama Queens ). Thats what we were. Poki was mostly at my house all the time. It was like another member of the house. And then when she would finally go back, one of us would call and start gossiping again.
Another may to pastime for us was, the moment the clock struck 12 in the midnight, we would have this crazy urge to dress up and also my little sister Goli(aka Pavitra) up. We would remove alll our makeup and start wearing anything that we think is in vogue, and click loads of photographs. This also reminds me of the days we would go to dance during Navratis and get back really late. I still remember this one day when danced till 4.30am, got back. And thought there was no point sleeping, so just changed and went for a walk. But after we got back,both of us slept like logs.
Our terrace gossip sessions used to be another whirlpool of a time. We would lie down on the iron beds that were put there and begin discussing which is the best guy in our class, or which is the funniest guy in class. Essentially, analyse our class like mad people. Not to forget our Bharatanatyam sessions we had together.

We were inseperable.

But then 10th Standard happened. We ended up going to different schools and as a result, to different coaching classes. A period where we were a little cut off from each other, but things became rosy again after I came to college.

She has always been like a cushion for me. There is not even one emotion that I havent been able to vent out to this girl. You know, they say , in life if you have one close friend, your life is fulfilled. I did. And I think my life is fulfilled.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart!!!

I really miss you a lot. :(

Friday, December 3, 2010

Bucket List continues ...

So I did a few things I never did before..

a) Went to Hard Rock Cafe, Bangalore for the first time. Was brilliant fun with A.K (aka OT) ,Zufair and OT's roommate.
b) Took a tequila shot, with loads of lemon. Never done that before.
c) Had a big discussion on what tattoo to get and where. So, OT and me are planning to go together and get the tattoo done.
d) Helped Zufair decide pickup lines he wishes to use on someone.
e) Drank my highest 7 litres of water in the last 24 hours.

Aint I completely proud of myself?
So next steps. Do look for places which can be explored in Bangalore cheaply.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Talking about things that makes me happy...

Today's plan. Thought Ill leave office early. Somehow ended up getting stuck. Anyway, I plan to go the gym , run for a while, feel good. Get back and make some salad. Blah Blah..
I feel so enthusiastic to get abck and get healthy once again.
Today I realised that Ive been having a permanent bad hair day, so thought Ill start eating multi vitamins regularly and applying oil every alternate day .

Highlight of the Day : It feels truly amazing to see a friend in love. :)

Monday, November 29, 2010

I feel nice...

Its 10.12pm , Im sitting in the office. Dont be surprised, for a change Im not working at night. I left office relatively early today, had a dance meeting where, after too much of discussion I came to my usual bias of doing slow, graceful songs compared to peppy-filmy-bollywoodish numbers.

My roommate Madhavi (aka Psycho) came along with me for the dance meeting.
She somehow had her Monday evening blues, so when we set out of the office, I decided to get the best food and let her feel good at home. Somehow, it so happened that due to some work she had to get back to the office, so I decided to accompany her. With two bags full of food, I managed to enter office and here I am, listening to her while blogging.

I had a nice lunch talk with A.K. And somehow he is right, I should really stop being revengeful. I know that its not going to take me anywhere. I am so proud of him. Somehow I knwo that he got my frustrations out so easily, that I know he will be able to calm her down and give the best advice. Sometimes I wonder, how can someone so young have a maturity of an old sage. Its the combination of the maturity and the patience he has that makes him such a perfect advisor.

Also, Im really proud of Zubair (aka Zufair) who is finally beginning to conquer what he likes. Its just today that I realised his value in my life here. His presence is like a "Chuddy Buddy" which always comforts me. And funnier being me showing my confidence and discussing some non-work issues about him with one of the top heads of my workplace. Either its called confidence, or its called stupidity. I am definitely one of them.

I also felt really good because I read this blog called Ill Seen , Ill Said. The blog about finding the perfect mug really inspired me. Such little details which are so important in life also mean a lot to me. Like finding the perfect mug where one's fingers can fit perfectly. Nice read.

Good Morning - Daily Dose 29/11/2010

I got up today morning with a bad headache, total guilt from saying nasty things last night and as a result with the fear that Ill lose loved ones. One thing that I realised about myself. I can be a complete b%&$@ with other people when Im angry at them, but when I look inside, I know that its me Im angry at. The real reason is actually that I'm not happy with my own life. The feeling of unfulfilment is always inside me. And I desperately need to do something about it. I can be happy with other people only if I am happy with myself. So I just need to take a few baby steps in order to make my life a better place.

First of all, I sincerely apologize to A.K , for being so nasty. You are a wonderful person at heart, and I always want you to have the best in life. Im going to be there with you and help you out whenever you need me. You have always been really nice to me , and maybe for sometime I took that for granted. I am lucky to have you in my life.

Ill try from now to be a nicer person.

I take an oath that Im going to write a daily Thanksgiving message for those things that Im thankful to , or grateful to have.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

What one thinks of themselves..

Ill be honest. Lately Ive been realising that what I perceive of myself is a lot to do with what others think of me. Very surprising, since I was the exact opposite of this earlier. I must admit that its a very bad thing as it leads to serious vulnerability. I feel the need to change.

I think this feeling creeped in me only today, otherwise normally Im pretty much satisfied with myself on most days. :) Call it a "Bad Mood Day", but thought of posting it. Anyway, other updates about me are I almost missed an opportunity to play Basketball in Nepal. Sad as it was, but it was a mix of different reasons because of which I missed it. An ankle sprain and no leave granted, put together. Plus, it was a bit too soon. No regrets though.. It was a step. Maybe next time.

My dance for the next month's company annual event is going on at full force. Even with my sprained ankle, Im able to manage a few slides and jumps during the dance. Ironically, Im doing a full fleged hip hop dance with the guys. Looking forward to it. :)

Thats about it for now.
PS : I made another discovery. Blogging about my updates and emotions makes me really happy. :)

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

To learn from them...

A few things that I learnt today. Always try to get the best out of people around. It will really help you become a better person.
So I already told you about Lavinor Online and how I decided to make a resolution list of my own.
Today I also decided to pick up good reading habits from A.K. He has been a voracious reader since childhood. And it really impresses me to see how engrossed he can get when he starts reading books. I really respect his love for books and the way he has been in a relationship with them forever.
Im going to get pushy to get myself enrolled in a dance class . And get going with Bharatanatyam.

General Updates : I'm really excited about 3rd Nov,2010. :)
You know the biggest realisation I had today? I have this daily dose of caring for people. Maternal Instinct sort of. So I just have to care for someone around. Whoever it may be, but till I dont vent it out.. I feel suffocated. Thats why when I was at home, I vented out all my maternal instincts on Polly by papmering her all the time. Its not always a good thing, because it could easily be of annoyance to people who like living a carefree life, but you can let your care go to those channels in a controlled manner. Till you know they dont mind it.

My cooking spree was on a sabbatical for a while, have gotten back to healthy cooking again. Made khichdi today. Will put up the recipe on my other cooking blog.

Moral of the day : Learn good things from everyone around you.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Need to get really organised!

I feel utterly stupid right now.
Trigger : I have to leave home for Ahmedabad in a few days. So to save a few bucks on the ticket, I decided Ill take a cheap flight from Bangalore to Mumbai and then take a train to Ahmedabad. Turned out I did not leave enough buffer time to reach the station. Worse was to come, people at home found out about this stupid plan, gave me a nice thrashing for taking such stupid decisions, and booked another flight for Ahmedabad (because the flight till Mumbai was refundable). So in the end, I ended up paying more than what I would have if i would ahve booked a ticket from Bangalore to Ahmedabad directly, go a scolding, felt utterly stupid AND I have to wait at the Mumbai airport for 5 hours to catch the next flight.

CONCLUSION : Penny wise, pound foolish

I realised that this was all because of lack of being organised. So inspired by Lavinor Online,
There was a time when I used to think the above blog was my blog twin, but now I realised
that I need to learn a lot from him.

I decided to start making a checklist of things that I need to finish. Its not just about being organised, but also about deciding a few things to do to get my life under control.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Lets cook, shall we?

My new interests, cooking. Just that its healthy, and it aids my fitness.

Let there be light!

Feel liberated.
Feel proud of yourself.
Feel independent.
Let it all sink in.
Get up and get going.
Nothing to stop you.
I know you can do it.
And you will.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

The journey so far...

So , after yet another long sabbatical from blogging, I'm finally charged up, ready to start blogging again.

So, few of the random attempts and resolutions taken during the first three months at Bangalore.

- Get thinner, jog for at least half an hour everyday in the gym below my building.
- Don't drink coffee at office, especially when you get stressed and have deadlines to meet.
- Don't get annoyed with people unnecessarily , especially when you know they care about you. and you know they care a lot about you.
- Speak yourself out, you know you need to speak up.
- Just realized that dates , and when I say dates, I mean the fruit (no pun intended) is very good for health
- Do one new thing every month, the assignment called "pet project of the month" by "Juna" .. Beginning with learning to solve the Rubik's cube this month.
- Smile, smile more when you are stressed. You know you cant beat the stress, so enjoy it.

So, its been a pretty awesome journey so far. Three months, seems like a lifetime. And I'm loving it.

Its a scary world , but its still comforting.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Just because I feel like....So I will

So I just thought of blogging without a purpose. Just felt like getting back to blogging after quite a sabbatical.
I was just feeling hyper and happy right now. :) Perfect reason to blog .

So Im in Bangalore for the past two months. When I came here for the first time, I felt really alone for the first one week, considering I was the only person who joined from my college. But I was fortunate to have found a very close friend, a bud always there when needed .
Sometimes you think you will be alone after going to a place. But there is always a perfect friend waiting for you .:)

Im just go glad to have found such an awesome friend.
Thanks dude for making my journey in Bangalore the smooth ride it is now. :)

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Best Friends Forever!

This is my first post since Ive come to Bangalore. I spent some really wonderful fifteen days at home, pampered Polly to the fullest. I know she got used to being pampered by me, I knew that when she got up in the morning and wanted to do her job, the first thing she would do is to whine and wake me up. I had her regular check up done, the doctor said she is perfectly healthy for a 11 year old.
I am proud of her.

I cant forget the day when I left. Polly stared at me from the gate, with her utmost endearing eyes, her ears all flopped up, wondering why Im sitting in the car and where Im going. I know dogs dont understand language, and mostly she wouldnt have understood a word of what I said.
But the day I was leaving I whispered into her ear and told her how much Im going to miss her. And somehow, I felt she understood .

Nothing gives me greater happiness than when Im with her. When I get back to my accommodation after a hard day of work ,come back and switch on the TV, and when there is a dog movie coming, Any movie for that matter, I look at the dog, the most endearing expressions ,and cry like one would cry watching a Titanic. The other day I was watching Beverly hills Chihuahua and cried looking at the expressions of the dog.

I feel like running back to Gandhinagar and being with her for a while. I miss her more than anything else in the world.

Love you Polly!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Midget or A Giant?

When I was small, I used to come back from school and cry everyday and ask my mom, "Why am I not tall?"
My mom always told me "Big things come in small packages."

As i grew up, I became pretty confident in my own skin. I never took height as an important factor and always thought, God didn't make everyone perfect. He always made them beautiful but with a flaw. Maybe my flaw was my height.

Im 22. High in sprits and peak of my analysis. Ive come to terms with my flaws and strengths.

But I am still curious. Is height an important criteria to describe your superiority over others in terms of external beauty?

One thing as we see, all the models are tall. And they definitely look good. Sexy rather.
So are actors.

Height is associated with sexiness quotient , but petiteness is associate with cuteness.
The preconceived notion of smallness linked with a baby, or rather a child is what describes
the cuteness quotient.

Somehow, a very major part of the society sees height as a major factor for good looks.
Why is it that we dont like seeing tiny people on the ramp?
Strange as it is.

Does the liking for tall people come from the fact that we love and get inspired by the White Race and try to be like them? Right from using fairness creams to having a physique like them, does the fantasy of become taller and using products like YOKO height increaser come from the White Race?

If not , then where is this coming from?

Friday, May 7, 2010

When fifteen minutes seem like a lifetime..

1:00pm, me waiting for my GP viva. Im busy chit chatting with the girls.

Suddenly an announcement."Next batch". I get up to get my file and go in.

Cant find it. Initially i thought its sleep deprivation that caused me not to be able to see things even when they are right there. I asked others to look.

They said, "They cant find it". My batchmates enter the Viva room. I went and told them that ill come in a while. I go out.
Start panicking . Panic at its zenith. 3 hours of sleep.
My file .
All the originals, right from 10th ,12th marksheet, semester marksheets ..All my certificates. GONE. TOTALLY GONE.

I start crying out of panic and fear.

I dont know how ill find it. "Did anyone steal it?" "How could it just vanish?" "Did i give it to someone and i dont remember?"
My viva sir waiting for me.
I cant go in because i have the gp form in that . I suddenly felt what a heart attack feels like. Panic lasted for almost 15 minutes. The worst 15 minutes of my life. Suddenly.. A guy in a white and blue stripes shirt enters. I can see my file in his hand. (*drum roll*) . My heart skipped a beat due to relief and I lived happily ever after. ...... PS: Guess who was the guy?



The file accidentally went into his bag . Hahahaa..Fifteen minutes seemed like a lifetime. :D:D
Thanks macha. Im more than glad you had the file with you. :):)

Oh by the way.. my blog finishes 100 posts today. :):)

Monday, April 19, 2010

Getting over isnt easy.. neither is it difficult

I had my drishtant farewell yesterday. We had lunch at ranjeet . and then went to bharat bhawan for hot seats .. after a few hot seats got over, we went to watch the sunset .. that was one beautiful sight to watch.

I could see the hustling traffic through marine drive. I was standing on one side of the lake, with utmst peace and serenity, and there on the other side.. i saw many cars overtaking each other, rushing and pushing to reach their homes/work as soon as they could.

I was just thinking.. How can there be two such different lives on two sides of the same thing??

And then i realized ....Getting over pain isn't as difficult as i thought it to be. Just count your stars for whatever you have got.. and you'll be grateful not to brood over some pain.

Friday, April 9, 2010

I started Tumbling

My new tumblr blog

I like tumblr. I still wont forget blogspot. Because it is 98 posts old. Been with through all the happy, sad, cranky, inspiring and moody moments. :)

Can I live the life of a danseuse?

It was.
It really was the amalgamation of body and soul.
Union of dancer and the dance.

She is Ms.Rama Vaidhyanathan. Born in Kerala, brought up in Delhi, she is 42, but looks nothing more than 20.

She inspired me to the extent that i thought i write something about her.
She performed a dance called "Navrasa Mohana" which meant, nine emotions which are shown towards Lord Krishna .

Bharanatayam is something that makes me forget all other beings in this world. And especially watching true grace inspired me so much.

I was sitting there, clapping, having tears in my eyes whenever she depicted each emotion, every moment thinking.. would I have been even half as good a dancer as her had I not left dance in the 10th standard.

Every thought occurring in my mind..Can i leave my job and just become a danseuse ? Will I be half as good if I only pursue dance in life? How spiritual must she be feeling doing every performance, everything coming from her heart?

Although i know one thing. Even if i never become a renowned dancer,I know for a fact that Ill never stop loving to dance. Its not the number of claps that one gets, its the feeling of moving to the beats of music.. raga.. taal.

Can I live a life of a danseuse?
is what i thought.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Bohemians that we are

Do you remember watching Adams Family when you were young? Yeah, we are similar. But worse. And we couldnt have been more proud of ourselves.

We live in our own world . We live by our own conventions. We have our own rules. We do our own things. We live in this blissful world of our home.

We enjoy the greatest time spending time with each other, sipping a cup of "Amma's Chai" , opening the windows and let the 4.00pm sun rays enter in. To top it, we have Polly sitting with us on the sofa , listening to our afternoon chit chat.

That is some time that no one can ever replace, I dont think that heavenly feeling of sitting and listening to Pratham and Mumma laugh can be replaced by anything in this world.

Friday, March 19, 2010

How we meet people who inspire us.

You never know when you might end up meeting people who inspire you so much that you wish to get up and do what you really want to do what you love to do, and not what you should do in accordance to the norms of the society. I met two such people. Dreamers ,you would say, they had their own defined principles about life, would do what they want to do.

Also, day by day, my belief about karma is becoming more and more. I would call it faith now.
I always heard people say, "Why do good things happen to bad people?"

It doesnt. Its all conspired to happen for the best.
Just look at it as a big picture.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The most beautiful thing ive ever felt

You know what is the best feeling?When you come up on stage. You feel the lights blinding your eyes. And suddenly , with the start of the music. You hear people screaming at the top of their voices. J

Im smiling right now. Im really happy . These four days of Technosearch ’10 went by without realizing.

I started preparing for dance. Me and my favourite dance partner Indu along with Urvi decided to do something special this year. So we choreographed the dance on “Baby One more Time” .But due to unfortunate circumstances we couldn’t do the dance .I was a little disheartened. Because I hate backing out of anything , once Ive taken it up,especially dances.I still didn’t give up hope. Me and a few really good dancers from the junior batches danced on Iktara. Iktara was cancelled once before, but this time we did. I don’t know how the audience found our dance. But I loved dancing on it. The way all of us moved gracefully to the tunes of Iktara, I felt true inner happiness. All these things didn’t feel like it was done for any competition. Or for any commercial act. It was pure dance. Beauty. It felt beauty inside. It did not think about whether it was better than others or not. Other dances might have been much better, but I didn’t seem to care.I just danced. Felt like I was praying. I just danced because I loved to dance. I took part in B-Tango with my son (Amar Sesma) . J We rocked the stage the way we danced, especially Amar. He was absolutely brilliant. People shouts were heard the most when he used to start dancing.Im realy proud of him.

I also walked the Ramp. Angels of Paradise. We were looking gorgeous. Everyone was dressed like angels. The effort put in, the choreography involved. Everything seemed so worth it in the end. I just walked the group ramp and came. Urvi majorly designed our clothes, after which girls used their own brain to create the final look. The outcome though was beautiful . The way people walked the ramp. When I slipped on to the white one shoulder dress with yellow and white flowers on it, it just felt so beautiful. I felt like the most beautiful person on earth, even without looking in the mirror. Coz I felt beautiful. I felt in from inside. When we came on stage, the feeling that I got when people started cheering at the top of their voices.God must have been there to see me. It felt like prayer. It felt like meditation.

It felt beautiful.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I dont like dance competitions.

Something about dance being a "competition" has always repelled me since childhood. Maybe it is something to do with the fact that I haven't won a single dance award. Or maybe because I just want to dance to dance, not to be judged and compared with other dancers. I think dance is something where its best to feel you are the best. And dance because you love dancing.

Plain and Simple.

Like one loves someone. Does one compare them with others? No.
One just loves them.

Thats why, when there is any dance performance in my college, I just like to dance. But then I dont like to get into the competition loop..

I know people say competitive spirit makes a performance better. But somehow, I cant fit into this concept of competition.

Run not to beat someone, run because you like to run.
Dance not to show you are a better dancer than someone, dance because you love to dance.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Using Swear Words has been proved good fo health

A study at California University suggested that using swear words actually helps you calm down faster. And anger energy is utilized in screaming rather than pumping your blood vessels. So go on!!!!

Let anger management classes get a run for their money and start swearing at the world.:P:P

PS: I hate swear words. I cry when Im angry. You can try that too.:D