7am to 10pm Love. Philosophy. Updates About Life.

I would not be exaggerating if I say I have been working for about 14 hours a day, which includes at least five to seven hours of dancing and easily two hours of travel. Its funny though because I do not mind it one bit. In fact I absolutely love it. You might think it is because I am a workaholic, but the reality is because I feel good about the fact that I have enough work on my platter.

Being a freelancer, having busy days definitely gives you the greatest high possible. I started dancing professionally when I was almost 24. So essentially, I still have just about three years experience. I always do things in a hurry, talk in a hurry, work in a hurry. I think it has something to do with the fact that my clock is ticking faster. I have lesser time to achieve what a 16 year old dancer can.

I just decided to share my thoughts with you.

I like blogging because it is like talking to someone who wants to listen to me.
I like talking. A lot.
I can talk for hours together without getting bored. From fashion to wellness to telling them how much I love my cat and my dog. To how much I love dancing. And food. And everything.

I am famous for passing out in the living room each night, even if we have a house party. And then waking up early in the morning just so that I can wake others up and talk to them.

I am loving the thought of next week. I am traveling to Mumbai on Monday and performing for the prestigious Daksha Sheth Dance Company. And I cannot express how much I am in awe of Daksha Didi's choreography.

Our team from Piah Dance Company is then leaving for Salem on Tuesday for a performance, and I am finally leaving for Gujarat to take a vacation with my family. I do not know how much sleep I will get. But you know what, I shall pass out whenever I can and get my dosage of sleep anyway.

In between all this, our company is doing a choreography for a school . I love kids just because they have no ego in them. If they like someone they say it. Simple. No ego comes to play even a little bit. 

So these I am working on believing more in myself. Not that I do not believe. But just that I need to believe more than I currently do. Not that that has anything to do with whether I really can or not. But just to believe I can.

Have you ever had days where you really want someone to come and evaluate you, in the most rightful manner, because you are just not able to evaluate yourself right? That happens with me. A lot. And honestly, the sooner I believe that I only can evaluate myself best, the better. There will always be bias otherwise. Friends and family will say better-than-real things to you. People who can see faults in you will focus more on the faults. So essentially I need to grow up and understand I cannot be spoon fed anymore.

So I shall tell you a little secret. But you need to promise me you won't judge me.
Actually even if you do, I will still share it. 

I have a dream of writing a book. A happy book. I do not know how it will go. But it will just be happy. You will feel happy at the end of it. It will not preach, or ask you to do things a particular way. Nor will it be a self help book. It will just be a happy book.

I have always loved motivating someone who has been feeling low in their lives. Maybe because I have felt low quite a few times too. And that feeling sucked. So bad.

And yes, the person who wrote a mail to me regarding the same, I am sorry I wasn't able to get back to you sooner, but I soon will. And I will try and make you feel better hopefully.

Honestly, I do not know where this blog is going. Its like a outlet where I am just talking. Maybe I should stop now. Good luck with reading this entirely. And if you have reached the bottom of this page and are reading this exact sentence right now, then you are a really good listener. 

I really should stop now.
Be happy, because I know shit happens to all of us. So lets keep the shit aside for a while and enjoy the not-so-shitty part of life. 
Look at my cat and dog if you like pets. They are really cute. 

Now that was my first reality show stint

I had been vanishing from blogging for the past one month. Not that I was completely busy, but I chose to keep shut about the experiments I had been doing with my life.

Now that the experimenting is over , at least the one I was in, I decided to talk about it.

So here is the entire story of my first reality show stint.

I had gone home for a couple of days after quitting my job, and my mom saw me dancing at home. She asked . "Why don't you take part in some dance competition?" It sounded like a good idea to me, considering I wasn't doing anything apart from enjoying being unemployed anyway. After looking up on the net, we saw this dance competition called Just Dance that was a TV based dance competition going to be hosted and aired on Star Plus. The Bhopal auditions were going to be held on the 4th March, 2011. I was anyway planning on going to Bhopal to attend the Tech Fest of my college. Anyway, I decided to just go and give it a shot. I had zero preparations on me. I hadn't in fact even started attending my dance classes then.

This is the first time I understood how things work in a reality show, how to face the camera, how and what is looked for from you in a reality show.

Day 1 , 4th March ,2011 : I landed at the Venue, State Museum of Bhopal where the auditions were supposed to be taking place. I didn't have my song edited nor the choreography done. I got done with that somehow. After waiting for seven hours in the scorching heat and realizing that no one else had come to the auditions just wearing a pair of jeans and a black top, I surrendered even before entering the auditions and knew I can't get through. But I went and gave the auditions .. And somehow I scraped to the second round called the TV round. This round was essentially a recording of your dance that they would send to Mumbai to be judged and will come back to you if they like your dance.

22nd March, 2011 : Got the call for the next round of selection .

29th March, 2011 : Reached Kolkata. First round here was called the TV round part 2. Got through that. Second round was the Producers round. I had prepared a contemporary dance on "Kahin To" from the movie Jaane Tu ya Jaane Na. The producers told me my strengths lies in Semi Classical and that I should not attempt dancing on Contemporary if I haven't been trained in it. I clear the producers round somehow. They tell me to dance on a semi classical number. I go roaming in Kolkata at 10 in the night hunting for a semi classical/bharatanatayam dress. Found something somehow, got back and slept off with my makeup on. Did not even choreograph for the song.

30th March, 2011 : I get up at 6 in the morning with a start realizing that I haven't decided the song yet. I make my decision to repeat some song Ive done before and square in on "Iktara" from the movie Wake up Sid. I just put a few Bharatanatayam steps in between so that it starts looking like a semi classical number. I get ready, edit the song and reach the venue at 8. My aim was to choreograph the song in the mind while I was waiting for the judges to arrive. The judges by the way were Farah Khan and Vaibhavi Merchant. And ya, this show is called Just Dance, if I forgot to mention it earlier. Anyway, I choreographed something while everyone was waiting in the line . These people were the 80 finalists selected from the east region which included Hyderabad, some people from Bhopal and a lot of people who had come from the Kolkata first round of auditions itself. Anyway, this round was quite a screw up for me , Ill tell you why.

I had anyway already surrendered for this round because all the people I met there had previous experience in other TV reality shows. And I even watched their dance, they were too much better than me anyway. More experienced, more trained. It was going to be an impossible task just getting out in a dignified way, I just didn't want to end up making a fool of myself.

The moment came for me to enter the stage. I went there and was pretty cool in spite of seeing Farah Khan and Vaibhavi Merchant being there to judge me.

I did my first semi classical performance after which Vaibhavi Merchant said she thought I had something in me. Then she asked me whether I knew some other styles, and then asked me to dance on Sheila. Now because I had just finished dancing on a semi classical, my body was still in that semi classical stage and I ended up dancing on Sheila just like another Semi classical performance to which Farah Khan told me that I might have been one of the best dancers in my region but right now I was not even close for this competition. I smiled and agreed, because I myself knew how much I had to learn . I took that in the right spirit and left with a wonderful experience and a hope that I will become a better dancer, learn more.

And back I am to Bangalore, my first stint in a reality show.

Twas a very good day...

The first half didn't go that well because of my laziness. But second half compensated for it all.

Did a few things :

Called up the dance class. Not luck on that front yet.

Bought a cot finally.

Put curtains in my room.

Bought a lot of food stuff for the week.

Cleaned my room completely.

Got my shoes repaired.

Thats quite a lot of stuff for today.

I'm too sleepy now, so will write about my day in detail tomorrow, hopefully after getting back from office.

Monday tomorrow, I'm sure the Monday Morning Blues are going to hit me again. Need to crack it by getting up and going to the gym.

Thats all from my end for the day.

Oh before I go..

Health Tip of the Day : Fenugreek (Methi) is the best cure for hair fall. Just start having the water in which fenugreek seeds are soaked overnight. I might be buying fenugreek in a few days. Will post updates about how effective it is for my hair.

A bright, new, happy 2011 !!!

I have so many things to write today. So I went about it by jotting down all the points I wanted to write before I forget. This substantiates the fact of my fetish for making lists.

I had a very happy New Year's Eve party last night. I danced like crazy. And suddenly I realized that its the most fun thing dancing with A.K. Everything suddenly becomes bliss. I know he is not a big fan of dancing. But I also know that he doesn't mind dancing once in a while with me. I was just a little worried towards the end because Popat became unwell. Also that I lost my clutch that had my debit card and my license. (Zufair : I know. This must be making you really happy. This is still nothing compared to the four cards you lost in six months)

Still, somehow these little roadblocks didn't stop me from feeling happy about the New Year Eve party. I think because it had a lot to do with the fact that I had all my close ones in Bangalore (Zufair was missing though :(..I wish he had been there too.) , the blissful dance with A.K and the final countdown to 2011. Honestly, after that precious moment when the crowds shouted "5..4..3..2..1", I became so emotional that I started crying. It just takes a drop of the hat for my tears to start rolling.

On this note, I want to make a special mention of A.K who has made my journey in Bangalore really special. Sometimes in life you need a cushion, to fall back on when you know the world slaps you with a hard hand. I have so much faith in him, because I know I have him in my life. There is immense happiness and tonnes of happy tears when I'm with him. I'm so glad that there's been a great beginning for 2011. I'm so glad that even the little fights we have had has never let me stop seeing the big picture, and realize there are more important things in life than winning some petty fight. And as I mentioned before, I've never loved dancing with anyone as much I have loved dancing with you.

This New Year Eve party involved me doing a lot of shopping. I have A.K's Canon Powershot SX110 IS which is THE best thing I could have in my hand. I took pictures of all the dresses and shoes that I bought. Will upload once I get the data cable from him. Also, along with those dresses, I suddenly got the mood to try out different styles of clothing from whatever I have in my wardrobe. How it all started was, I was watching these "How to dress in Style" videos on youtube.com. And seeing these girls team up simple t-shirts with belts and looking like style icons inspired me to do the same. Fortunately, I succeeded in creating one top-jeans-shoes-belt combination which looked pretty good. Anyway, I clicked pictures of me wearing them.

Adding to my list of things that I need to do in the next two days includes inquiring about my lost clutch, my lost driver's license, and getting a new debit card. I'll be joining dance classes soon.

Adding to the New Year resolution list :

1)Get a professional photoshoot.

2)Dont let people treat you like a pushover(Learn to be firm and ward unwanted people away).

Music I'm listening to :Beyonce, Irreplacable (Spanish version)

Book I'm reading : Catcher in the Rye by J.D Salinger

Weird Fact of the Day : When you type "add" in T9 on your mobile, the first word that it gives you is "bed". ( I don't know how "bed" is a more common word than "add"... Don't want to think deeper into this though. (chuckle))

Health Tip I just learned : Just found out that lycopene, found in tomatoes are absorbed in the body only if you take in with a little amount of fat. The best suggestion is to add a little olive oil to the salad. Time to buy Olive Oil I think.

Also, I oiled and steamed my hair. Lately I have been having more bad hair days than good ones. Soon , I plan to visit the dentist and the dermatologist to get myself checked.

Finally, I'm taking this moment to thank all the people who were there for me in 2010. In no particular order :Zubair ,Urvi, Alfan, Prerna, Amar, Indu, Animesh, Amit, Farah, Vivek, PU, Tirus, Smriti, Sonali, Harsh Mishra, GT, Pratham, Goli, Polly, Mom and Dad, Abhishek,juniors like Monika, Rakesh, Manju, the gujjus Amit, Megha(the biggest Gunti), Rekha (the biggest Drama Queen)..the IT Folks : Nandu, Chansal, Apurva, YK, Ritika and others, my basketball team: Sarita, Rachna, Siddhant, Rekha and all the others in the girls and guys team, Work people like Kranthi, Anup, Supriya, Madhavi, Komal, Jigisha, Madhurita, Ramya, Komal, Renjit, Vimmy, Eswar, Sumesh,my blog twin Anurag aka Lavinor.

And finally A.K... for giving me all the happiness I ever wanted.

(I apologize if I forgot a few names.. It might just mean that you were very important but always there.. so didn't click in my head)

Happy Birthday Poki!!!

This one is for my childhood memories, for someone who was always there when you needed her.
People are born with Barbie Dolls, I was born with having a friend like her. She came to Mount Carmel School in Kinder Garten. And since then we were always together in any activity, basketball, dance, name it.. and both of us are there for it. She was always the blue-eyed girl of our class. I always found her the prettiest in our class.

If you happen to catch a first glance, you'll notice that she lives life like a Princess. And that makes me so proud of her. With her 5"7' height, her lovely locks, her beautiful eyes and her powerpul personality, she can definitely give run for all the models in the country. Has an amazing fashion sense, a total diva one could say.

Although, thats what you 'll see. I have seen the real,crazy,whacky side of her. For example, I have heard her call diabetes , "DII-YAA-BATES" and rolling on the floor laughing for it. Thats the crazy her.
We have our set of really crazy moments we have had together.
Some of them are:
Poki has actually signed an autograph for me saying , " This one is my first autograph for you when I become famous. Signed : Nikita Puniani. :)
I know this day will defnitely come where Ill flaunt this autograph on Facebook.
(I still have the autograph on a page btw)
We have read Femina and discussed weird gossip right from how a guy dumps a girl to which is the best beauty secret when we were in the 8th Standard. We were very inquisitive kids.
Our everyday routine would be that we would meet in school together, wait for Recess to happen, have breakfast together, wait for classes to end, and cycle back to my place. And then I would put Backstreet Boys in my cassette player and we would start finishing all my homework. Maths, Science, even Drawing. There was always this competition between us as to who would finish first, and that way we would always end up finishing homework on time. Once the clock struck 5pm. We would get out of the house and play basketball or this crazy version of Badminton Ive never played before. The distance between us would almost be double of an actual Badminton court and we would call it our "Long Range" game. After a long ,tiring game of our "Long Range Badminton" we would get back, wash our faces and dress up like complete divas to go to CTF (Chills, Thrills and Frills) to eat something. Somehow ,she was always fond of coffee. So then we would go to CTF, and we would crib about how there are no "good" guys in Gandhinagar. (Think : Typical Teenage Drama Queens ). Thats what we were. Poki was mostly at my house all the time. It was like another member of the house. And then when she would finally go back, one of us would call and start gossiping again.
Another may to pastime for us was, the moment the clock struck 12 in the midnight, we would have this crazy urge to dress up and also my little sister Goli(aka Pavitra) up. We would remove alll our makeup and start wearing anything that we think is in vogue, and click loads of photographs. This also reminds me of the days we would go to dance during Navratis and get back really late. I still remember this one day when danced till 4.30am, got back. And thought there was no point sleeping, so just changed and went for a walk. But after we got back,both of us slept like logs.
Our terrace gossip sessions used to be another whirlpool of a time. We would lie down on the iron beds that were put there and begin discussing which is the best guy in our class, or which is the funniest guy in class. Essentially, analyse our class like mad people. Not to forget our Bharatanatyam sessions we had together.

We were inseperable.

But then 10th Standard happened. We ended up going to different schools and as a result, to different coaching classes. A period where we were a little cut off from each other, but things became rosy again after I came to college.

She has always been like a cushion for me. There is not even one emotion that I havent been able to vent out to this girl. You know, they say , in life if you have one close friend, your life is fulfilled. I did. And I think my life is fulfilled.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart!!!

I really miss you a lot. :(

Bucket List continues ...

So I did a few things I never did before..

a) Went to Hard Rock Cafe, Bangalore for the first time. Was brilliant fun with A.K (aka OT) ,Zufair and OT's roommate.
b) Took a tequila shot, with loads of lemon. Never done that before.
c) Had a big discussion on what tattoo to get and where. So, OT and me are planning to go together and get the tattoo done.
d) Helped Zufair decide pickup lines he wishes to use on someone.
e) Drank my highest 7 litres of water in the last 24 hours.

Aint I completely proud of myself?
So next steps. Do look for places which can be explored in Bangalore cheaply.

The journey so far...

So , after yet another long sabbatical from blogging, I'm finally charged up, ready to start blogging again.

So, few of the random attempts and resolutions taken during the first three months at Bangalore.

- Get thinner, jog for at least half an hour everyday in the gym below my building.

- Don't drink coffee at office, especially when you get stressed and have deadlines to meet.

- Don't get annoyed with people unnecessarily , especially when you know they care about you. and you know they care a lot about you.

- Speak yourself out, you know you need to speak up.

- Just realized that dates , and when I say dates, I mean the fruit (no pun intended) is very good for health

- Do one new thing every month, the assignment called "pet project of the month" by "Juna" .. Beginning with learning to solve the Rubik's cube this month.

- Smile, smile more when you are stressed. You know you cant beat the stress, so enjoy it.

So, its been a pretty awesome journey so far. Three months, seems like a lifetime. And I'm loving it.

Its a scary world , but its still comforting.

Just because I feel like....So I will

So I just thought of blogging without a purpose. Just felt like getting back to blogging after quite a sabbatical.
I was just feeling hyper and happy right now. :) Perfect reason to blog .

So Im in Bangalore for the past two months. When I came here for the first time, I felt really alone for the first one week, considering I was the only person who joined from my college. But I was fortunate to have found a very close friend, a bud always there when needed .
Sometimes you think you will be alone after going to a place. But there is always a perfect friend waiting for you .:)

Im just go glad to have found such an awesome friend.
Thanks dude for making my journey in Bangalore the smooth ride it is now. :)

Best Friends Forever!

This is my first post since Ive come to Bangalore. I spent some really wonderful fifteen days at home, pampered Polly to the fullest. I know she got used to being pampered by me, I knew that when she got up in the morning and wanted to do her job, the first thing she would do is to whine and wake me up. I had her regular check up done, the doctor said she is perfectly healthy for a 11 year old.
I am proud of her.

I cant forget the day when I left. Polly stared at me from the gate, with her utmost endearing eyes, her ears all flopped up, wondering why Im sitting in the car and where Im going. I know dogs dont understand language, and mostly she wouldnt have understood a word of what I said.
But the day I was leaving I whispered into her ear and told her how much Im going to miss her. And somehow, I felt she understood .

Nothing gives me greater happiness than when Im with her. When I get back to my accommodation after a hard day of work ,come back and switch on the TV, and when there is a dog movie coming, Any movie for that matter, I look at the dog, the most endearing expressions ,and cry like one would cry watching a Titanic. The other day I was watching Beverly hills Chihuahua and cried looking at the expressions of the dog.

I feel like running back to Gandhinagar and being with her for a while. I miss her more than anything else in the world.

Love you Polly!

When fifteen minutes seem like a lifetime..

1:00pm, me waiting for my GP viva. Im busy chit chatting with the girls.

Suddenly an announcement."Next batch". I get up to get my file and go in.

Cant find it. Initially i thought its sleep deprivation that caused me not to be able to see things even when they are right there. I asked others to look.

They said, "They cant find it". My batchmates enter the Viva room. I went and told them that ill come in a while. I go out.

Start panicking . Panic at its zenith. 3 hours of sleep.

My file .

All the originals, right from 10th ,12th marksheet, semester marksheets ..All my certificates. GONE. TOTALLY GONE.

I start crying out of panic and fear.

I dont know how ill find it. "Did anyone steal it?" "How could it just vanish?" "Did i give it to someone and i dont remember?"

My viva sir waiting for me.

I cant go in because i have the gp form in that . I suddenly felt what a heart attack feels like. Panic lasted for almost 15 minutes. The worst 15 minutes of my life. Suddenly.. A guy in a white and blue stripes shirt enters. I can see my file in his hand. (*drum roll*) . My heart skipped a beat due to relief and I lived happily ever after. ...... PS: Guess who was the guy?

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Mr. PRADEEP KUMAR. :P:P

MYSTERY UNRAVELED:

The file accidentally went into his bag . Hahahaa..Fifteen minutes seemed like a lifetime. :D:D

Thanks macha. Im more than glad you had the file with you. :):)

Oh by the way.. my blog finishes 100 posts today. :):)

Getting over isnt easy.. neither is it difficult

I had my drishtant farewell yesterday. We had lunch at ranjeet . and then went to bharat bhawan for hot seats .. after a few hot seats got over, we went to watch the sunset .. that was one beautiful sight to watch.

I could see the hustling traffic through marine drive. I was standing on one side of the lake, with utmst peace and serenity, and there on the other side.. i saw many cars overtaking each other, rushing and pushing to reach their homes/work as soon as they could.

I was just thinking.. How can there be two such different lives on two sides of the same thing??

And then i realized ....Getting over pain isn't as difficult as i thought it to be. Just count your stars for whatever you have got.. and you'll be grateful not to brood over some pain.

The most beautiful thing ive ever felt

You know what is the best feeling?When you come up on stage. You feel the lights blinding your eyes. And suddenly , with the start of the music. You hear people screaming at the top of their voices. J

Im smiling right now. Im really happy . These four days of Technosearch ’10 went by without realizing.

I started preparing for dance. Me and my favourite dance partner Indu along with Urvi decided to do something special this year. So we choreographed the dance on “Baby One more Time” .But due to unfortunate circumstances we couldn’t do the dance .I was a little disheartened. Because I hate backing out of anything , once Ive taken it up,especially dances.I still didn’t give up hope. Me and a few really good dancers from the junior batches danced on Iktara. Iktara was cancelled once before, but this time we did. I don’t know how the audience found our dance. But I loved dancing on it. The way all of us moved gracefully to the tunes of Iktara, I felt true inner happiness. All these things didn’t feel like it was done for any competition. Or for any commercial act. It was pure dance. Beauty. It felt beauty inside. It did not think about whether it was better than others or not. Other dances might have been much better, but I didn’t seem to care.I just danced. Felt like I was praying. I just danced because I loved to dance. I took part in B-Tango with my son (Amar Sesma) . J We rocked the stage the way we danced, especially Amar. He was absolutely brilliant. People shouts were heard the most when he used to start dancing.Im realy proud of him.

I also walked the Ramp. Angels of Paradise. We were looking gorgeous. Everyone was dressed like angels. The effort put in, the choreography involved. Everything seemed so worth it in the end. I just walked the group ramp and came. Urvi majorly designed our clothes, after which girls used their own brain to create the final look. The outcome though was beautiful . The way people walked the ramp. When I slipped on to the white one shoulder dress with yellow and white flowers on it, it just felt so beautiful. I felt like the most beautiful person on earth, even without looking in the mirror. Coz I felt beautiful. I felt in from inside. When we came on stage, the feeling that I got when people started cheering at the top of their voices.God must have been there to see me. It felt like prayer. It felt like meditation.

It felt beautiful.

Value of Goodness!

I reflect the most upon life when I'm meditating. There is complete silence all around. I was just reflecting back upon my life in the year 2009. This new year I decided I wont keep any yearly resolutions. Instead of deciding to do things for myself, I thought Ill decide all the values Ill inculcate in this new year. My year began with a lot of goodness. And hopefully, I was good to others too. The latter half of the year came with a lot of negativities. I felt from the inside that I was very negative about a lot of people, never understood their perspective. I always thought every action that anyone caused to hurt me was a malicious act of hurting me where it hurt the most.

I was wrong.

I was insecure with my life. I looked at everyone the way the looked at myself.

And its truly said that the way one judges others is a reflection of how one judges themselves.

And maybe I judged myself so much that I was always blank about what to post in my blog. And then I preferred not to blog at all.

I came home after the Surat Inter NIT basketball tournament. I met my best friend after a long, long time. I wasn't even sure whether he still thinks of me as one of his closest. I was wrong in doubting that. I felt the closeness. I was happy. Contented. And suddenly my insecurities flew away to some faraway land. I feel happier now. I got him back.

I thought I had become distant with Popat this semester . She is at home now. She makes me laugh like crazy. Im happy I have her.

Despo was the biggest surprise of this year. After seeing me laugh with him, sometimes I wonder, Can friends ever go away?

And then I get my answer: Never.

I wasnt even in touch with Poki this semester. But when I came home, I roamed with her all around the City. We talked about the times when we were kids and used to hang around and play Pictionary and dance together. It felt like Class 9 again.

And then I realise. That I was wrong in thinking people went away from me. It was me who went away from me. And when I decided to come back, I saw no one was gone. Everyone was there. And then I realised how on-the-edge lucky I was.

So this new year, I thought .. No jobs to be listed in the list of resolutions. Just an attempt to become a better person. And to make others happy.

A year to value goodness.

Introspection!!!

Its really strange. I had an amazing July till now. A lot of events unfolded. Some of them being:

a)Vizag Trip: The greenest place Ive seen till date. I used to think Gandhinagar is the greenest.. and I realised my folly when I visited that place. It had some awesome sites to visit, a few of them being Rishikonda Beach, Bora Caves and Aruku Valley. The road to Aruku Valley was the most heavenly thing I had ever seen. For the first time I could see clouds between mountains. Some pictures from the visit are seen below:


b)My birthday: Was on the 7th July. A really cute birthday it was. I cut the cake three times. We went trekking in the evening on the rocks near our office campus. Later that night, a few of us went to this place called Mainland China. It was a lovely place. We had the best food ,best ambience and the cute waiters played the "Happy birthday" song with their guitars. :):). Was feeling On top of the world.

c)Work wise things went pretty well, had my interview today...That didnt exactly go well. But im happy i reached till there.

d)Hoping to get back now. Harsh was the closest friend I made and he will be gone tomorrow. Now i am really dying to get back.






After all this, I sat thinking about why Im still not happy with what is going on? And then I realized it is because for the first time in my life, the work that I am doing is not what I really want to do. .

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And after these two months, Im absolutely sure that this is not what I want to make out of my life.

Back on track..Back to life!!

First of all ,let me jump as high as I can..July is here!!! Yay..

I must be one of the very few people who gets excessively excited about my birthday coming,and one of the rarest to sit with a pen and paper and actually plan it. So here it is,my favorite month,for the obvious reasons. I love this month for a lot of reasons,mainly being loads of rain,dewdrops on plants early in the morning, college reopening,looking forward to setting up my new room , meeting Popat after such a long time, seeing the birthday pics everyday ..again and again.. So many things happen during July. This July is a little different though. I used to spend every year normally roaming around with Amit , going to Cafe Coffee Day and Cool Point , Infocity, Gandhinagar. Used to listen to his talk, loads and loads of interesting ideas,the way he used to laugh like a moron. This year I havent been able to get a chance to sit with him in those places.And I spent these holidays without him. :( Hope to see him when I get back sometime during the later half of the year. One of my friends had told me that he was disappointed seeing sad posts in my blog. So I decided Ill come back with a bang. And yeah, so I am back ,with the best of my zest and zeal. One of the things I decided to do was to make a list of top 100 things to do before I die.

I had succeeded in making only a few,but thought Ill keep updating as I remember. So here it goes,the few of which I have in the making of a fulfilling life.

1)Walk in the sands of the Goa beach,in the evening..watching the perfect sunset.
2)Get a belly button piercing.
3)Make a dance video,and be the lead,with cool effects...using black,white and red.!!!
4)Get a set of professional photographs taken..the style diva for a day!
5)Have a pet organization.
6)Buy my mom a ticket to some place abroad,all by my own money.
7)Adopt a baby.
8)Taste Alcohol once..and see what its like getting drunk.
9)Get a tattoo.
10)Go to all the continents of the world once..even if it is one place each.
11)Start a cultural events academy.
12)Buy a cool NIKON camera ,used by most professional photographers,and take a lot of photographs.
13)See all weather conditions, snowfall,desert,rainfall,autumn leaves,spring flowers.....
14)Visit to a spa in Kerala.
15)Cook a full five course continental meal ,which btw is delicious...all by myself.
16)Do a ballroom dance,wearing the perfect Black gown.
17)Get a huge family picture ,which can be blown up into becoming a wallpaper of one entire wall f the room.



Loads of things happening in life. A cultural programme took place during our internship. One was a classical dance and the other was a Giddha (Punjabi folk dance of women). The giddha went well, but due to time constraints my solo bharatatyam didnt go really well.I didnt have time to edit the song, and my final performance had a lot of disturbance. Apparently the audience wasnt able to relate to it (a few came and complained as well). I was upset for sometime because of some random people coming and telling me things. But then,I thought its a challenge to come up with a performance without any flaws.

Anyway, Im making a trip to Vizag with a few friends of mine. I plan to celebrate a birthdya in advance during the weekend ,wear a straw hat, bubble chappals, and a shell necklace, and cut the cake on the shore ,water hitting my legs. I hope the weather and other things go the right way. Im really excited about making the trip . And Im missing a few people as well. So yeah,in short, this is pretty much what is happening in my life right now. 17 days left for me to go back home. Im happy and sad as well .Made a few good friends out here. Will miss them a lot when I get back. Lets not think about it for now. Lets hope the best for this new month.

Oh yeah, I also sprained my ankle in the aerobics class in the office building. I fell at an angle of 90 degrees flat on the ground. Its much better now. But lets hope it gets perfectly fine before I leave for Vizag.

Cheers!

Stuck in the moment!

Raindrops all around,the sweet smelling earth at its glorious best,a lush green carpet bed,the feeling that I get when I extended my hand out of the window,and feel the silver bullets striking through it."Magical" is what I think when I see the marvels of nature.But the greatest marvels of nature could be family. Wherever I am,wherever I go,but i cant help get stuck at the moment.

The balcony,with a lot of pots around...sweet smelling Lilies and citrus China grass,..the glassy money plant with crystals of water falling on the grass. This time,when my mom made the best coffee for me and my sister and herself. My brother would have his standard Chai. We opened all the windows of the house,little sprinkles getting inside. Then all of us,me ,my brother,my sister and my mom would go to the balcony and sit,each grabbing a chair for themselves.My brother and me preferred to sit on the floor,leaning against the wall,holding his ceramic Chai cup in his hand. Polly ,who loves sitting where she has loads of company,also came to the balcony and sat with us,listening to our talks. The hot steaming cup of coffee,that opened the pores and senses of my face,and my brother's talks that opened my mind. The merry laughter, my mother's jokes,my brother's humor, my sister's getting irritated because she was made the butt of most jokes, my laughter at the mere hearing of so many jokes.I used to be cuddling Polly most of the time,brushing her hair. She looked into my eyes,and was the purest. It seems like ages since Ive had a moment like that ,just sitting and talking.

Sometimes I think,everything is racing so fast. I got admission in NIT Bhopal.Started living in another hostel,away from home.I used to look forward to going home on vacations.And this time Im spending it in Hyderabad,again,away from home. I want to close my eyes,and feel each moment with my family all over again.Those wintry afternoons, the rainy evenings and summer nights.

I just close my eyes.I feel it all over again.

I love my Cubicle!

Im sitting in this dark cubicle,chose not to switch on the blinding-the-eye tubelights,have a table light switched on,listening to "Walou" by Outlandish,making a list of the work I need to finish today.Little stick notes here and there in different colours,brightly shining,more because of the dim lights,a glass of warm milk with foam,my laughing Buddha...random things scribbled on my whiteboard,list of upcoming birthdays...a picture of Bubbles of Powerpuff girls..

..
.....
.....
And then I realised..
I truly and whole heartedly.
..

I love my cubicle!!!

Thanks buddy..this meant a lot...seriously!

Sometimes you feel you are losing out on friends,and suddenly they all come in front of you,back to you,like as if they never left you in the first place. I felt truly special today. And trust me,nothing could have made me feel soo much better than what I felt after talking to one of my really close friends,and btw,im proud to say that i havent lost all my friends.. Im back on track,injured,hurt, but survival is the key to this world.

 I realised that I still have most of my special friends with me,and all this while when i kept crying for the lost ones,i forgot about those who were still there.I have nothing to cry now,ive cried enough, but wont anymore. Im all geared up for my exams now,and i realised that i can study only if i am happy. The friend gave me a lending ear,to all my problems,related to my minor project,exam preparation, exam schedule ,internship help....everything i could get help with. I just felt soo good venting myself out. And now i feel so much more relaxed now. So much contented. I now know how it feels to lose out on people....and how it feels when you realised that you actually didnt lose them.

 Thanks buddy,it felt really great to have you back. This one is for you!!!

Im all happy today!!

Cant believe this unbelievable transformation from yesterday to today. I was all sad,depressed ,vulnerable, lonely till yesterday. I was crying over a lost friend,when i forgot that in return i had got someone in my life who made me forget all miseries. And of course to the rescue he came...And i was all happy and cheerful again. I was in a dilemma for a lot of reasons....work mainly. I wasn't getting a sense of direction as to what i am supposed to do after B.Tech..plus emotional vulnerability of losing out on a friend. I am so happy today,because I tried my level best to get the friend back..and if i think i tried..i will also get something in return. Plus i finally gained focus on what i should study. And I'm finally relieved that I'm not standing in the middle of this crossroad,trying to wonder which direction i should go towards.And finally,i all set to start studying for the thing I feel Im supposed to be.And Im proud of the person who gave me this sense of direction..I love the restaurant Bake and Shake at 10 number. Lovely place,amazing music,nice ambience,refreshing coffee.

I am seriously happy today after crying for hours last night because of the lost friend ...and Ive realized one thing. In life ,

"Good things come with a big price..and better things come with a bigger price. "

Curling up on my mom's lap!!!

In this mad,bustling crowd of frantic people and never-ending activities where every mortal gets stuck in the rut of staying at pace with the others,where everything around seems like a black hole,that inspite of everything good happening in your life and people telling me good times are coming my way..........why is it that i just feel like closing my eyes and remember the good old days when i was a kid.??The moments when i used to bruise my knee after a bicycle race on my little BSA Champ multicolored cycle...and when my mom used to put Dettol and i wailed my eyes out because it burnt...............The moments when i used to come back from school and cry to my mom because i was one of the shortest girls in my class and asked her why god forgot to give me height...and she used to hug me and tell me that big things came in small packages...and i believed her....There were times when i fought with her like mad for silly reasons....and she still forgave me...i remember my teenage years...when irritability was my only emotion..........but still she bore with me......patient and kind......never got angry because of my petty tantrums.......

All these moments flash through my memory right now...at this phase...when people around me think that success is knocking on my door really hard (which again i think im just lucky right now,not because i was meant to get it),i dont feel like even thinking about all the materialistic achievements this month......nothing about the internship,or the basketball tournament..or even about any pretentious SGPAs....Dont want any gossip,any bitching about me,those eyes looking at me,waiting to cause harm..... those mouths that gossip about whether im even worth any internship or those wrong intentioned guys......

I can just think about going to my mom.......putting my head on her lap.....and stopping time.........



I just want things to be simple ...you know the KISS rule (Keep it simple,stupid)....