Monday, October 27, 2008

I close my eyes.

I close my eyes. And think of the things to happen. My participation in an international dance festival. The stage being all mine,millions of people to watch my performance,the stage lights on me. The mix of nervousness and challenge and excitement and happiness while beginning the performance. The sight of seeing soo many people and my mom sitting in the front row,smiling right at me.

I close my eyes and see 10 years from now.I see my adopted daughter 'Piah',the little 4 year old daughter ,who is an angelic beauty in true sense. I can see her learning Bharatanatyam right from the age of 3. Also taking ballet classes. I know she will be a much better dancer than what I could ever imagine myself to be. I would fulfil whatever my mom imagined herself to doing her life,and i know Piah will do the same for me.I know Piah is going to be the best dancer I would ever know.

I close my eyes and see my dance school, the school which deals in all forms of classical and western dances. Something that I would ensure that all the people around me realise how passionate one can become towards dance ..And that dance is just not a form of extracurricular activity, its an emotion in itself.

I close my eyes and see my pet organization, something I would love to do,for stray animals and pets. A home for them,a place for them to be looked after. I can see a huge place for the organization besides the meadows, a lot of kennels constructed together with a lot of empty space for the pets to run around. I can see so many dogs running around the empty space,during evening time,when the sun is on its way to set,and the orange ambiance gives me the feeling of happiness. I can see Piah picking up those little lambs and cuddling them. I can see her throwing Frisbee for the dogs to fetch.

I close my eyes and see myself the manager of a big cultural event,on a national level,like the Award winning shows. I can see myself running around ,managing the stage,decoration,talking to the sponsors and managing the budget along with ensuring the best of decoration. I can see myself deciding on which type of decor should the stage have. And what types of drape should be put on the back side of the stage.

I close my eyes and look at my mom and dad,who look at me with so much pride. I can see my mom,who has started a boutique,something she has been thinking of doing for long. I can see myself helping her out in buying the piece of land that she would need for her boutique.I can see her designing the best dresses and putting them for sale. And I am the biggest fan of her clothes.She is practically my designer.I can see my dad still continue his jogging,his fitness level on the zenith.I can see his smoking in control,and i can see he has decided to quit smoking. I can see him playing with Piah,playing badminton with her.

I close my eyes and realise..That life is so much better than what we think it is. It is so much more than frustration ,stagnation,self pity,fights with friends,bitching about people,falling in love with someone and not able to have him/her, jealousy,cribbing about the bad things happening in college.

Self cleansing

I was always a believer of yoga and the power of what it could do.And it is said that yoga is nothing without pranayama. But somehow I just like the power yoga asanas without the pranayama ,that is the importance of breathing. And more so,about meditation. I knew it works keep you concentrated and calm,but never had the patience to practice it. My mind wandered most of the times when I tried to meditate. I just tried it right now and I realise that it actually makes you feel dreamy. You get into this state of trance where everything around you seems so much better than what it is. You feel positive about everything that has happened to you and that is going to happen. 
But surprisingly,as i said my mind wanders a lot when trying to focus.. And this state of imagination set in. It was like a visualization of what my future is. I dont know whether it was what it is going to be,or what I want it to be like. But the former and latter dont make much of a difference.And now I realised how important it is to take time out of your daily rat race and just close your eye and breathe. It gives you an altogether new perspective towards life.